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Post by orangepeel on Aug 6, 2017 11:38:16 GMT -5
Here's the sorry chart of the demise and death of my sex life, based on sexual activity in our summer holidays, often in the most romantic and lovely destinations. Back in 2002, we were in our early thirties and had been married for five years.
2002 - At it constantly. Lots of memorable oral too.
2003 - Fantastic. Loads of hard shagging.
2004 - Sore genital territory!
2005 - Pretty unsatisfactory; not much, but not non-existent.
2006 - A bit crap.
2007 - Really bad. One gritted-teeth shag.
2008 - Had to beg for one bad shag.
2009 - No sex. Was told once I could do it to her when she was asleep. (I counter-refused.)
2010 - No sex. We didn't even touch in bed.
2011 - I managed to make one attempt. Got ED. What a fiasco.
2012 - No sex. We didn't even touch in bed.
2013 - No sex. We didn't even touch in bed.
2014 - No sex. We didn't even touch in bed.
2015 - No sex. We didn't even touch in bed.
2016 - No sex. We didn't even touch in bed.
2017 - No sex. We didn't even touch in bed.
You don't need to be a genius statistician to spot the trend.....
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 6, 2017 14:02:04 GMT -5
orangepeel, one might ask what happened between the summers of 2004 and 2005 that turned things dramatically sour...
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Post by h on Aug 6, 2017 20:14:13 GMT -5
I had no sharp turn. It's been the same the whole time. I will acknowledge that we've had more sex this year alone than in any other two years combined but it hasn't been great sex. Before I started posting on here, it was an average of 10 times a year all the way back to the first year of our marriage. I don't know if that makes me lucky or deprived. I never really knew what a great sex life was like. I still don't...
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Post by shamwow on Aug 6, 2017 23:05:35 GMT -5
My sharp turn was when the wheels of the plane touched down from the honeymoon. Guess we needed to consummate to make it all official-like. Then just add 20 years.
The longest multi year drought was 3 years, although it certainly wasn't the only one.
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Post by orangepeel on Aug 7, 2017 0:56:21 GMT -5
With us it was two things: the birth of our second child placed all the usual pressures on us, to which we responded badly - that was our fault jointly. The second - which isn't mine at all - is that my wife went kind of crazy when she turned forty and effectively did a Shamwow's ex's honeymoon job and stopped all activity. The latest drought is now five full years.
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Post by wom360 on Aug 7, 2017 2:53:24 GMT -5
With us it was two things: the birth of our second child placed all the usual pressures on us, to which we responded badly - that was our fault jointly. The second - which isn't mine at all - is that my wife went kind of crazy when she turned forty and effectively did a Shamwow's ex's honeymoon job and stopped all activity. The latest drought is now five full years. And yet you continue to take her to romantic and lovely destinations? Seems you're pretty complicit. |
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Post by orangepeel on Aug 7, 2017 3:46:24 GMT -5
Well, we take the kids too to these nice destinations, but I take your point: I carry my own share of responsibility for the mess we're in.
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Post by McRoomMate on Aug 7, 2017 6:35:00 GMT -5
Well, we take the kids too to these nice destinations, but I take your point: I carry my own share of responsibility for the mess we're in. so you are "staying together for the kids"? I can relate - I did for a long time. I might do again. Currently separated and on vacation without ex-wife and kids for the first time. Sex is not everything. Children are worth a lot and so is keeping family together. |
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Post by orangepeel on Aug 7, 2017 7:01:31 GMT -5
It's not so much that we're staying together for the kids; it's more that I won't contemplate leaving because of them.
If that makes sense....
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Post by McRoomMate on Aug 7, 2017 7:36:43 GMT -5
It's not so much that we're staying together for the kids; it's more that I won't contemplate leaving because of them. If that makes sense.... However you want to frame it. The children seem the main reason you two are still together. So as I am sure you have seen posted so much already you got 3 choices 1. Stay 2. Outsource / Cheat 3. Leave I posted a fairly pragmatic article on Best Time to Divorce and their is a section in the article on staying together for the kids. If you can both be good parents vis a vis the children even if your intimacy is rotten and non existent - then may be worth it. I had lunch a few months ago with an 85 year old retired bank executive who had a rotten loveless sexless marriage and had a passionate mistress on the side. She begged him to leave his wife back in the day (say 30 years ago) and he would not leave his children. This is an old story and always the same. You are definitely not alone in your facts. And not alone here on ILIASM with the family here too. |
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Post by baza on Aug 7, 2017 7:49:47 GMT -5
There's *staying* for the kids,
There's *leaving* for the kids.
There is also staying for *your* need to be near the kids too.
They are all perfectly legitimate choices, just different motivations.
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Post by orangepeel on Aug 7, 2017 8:34:25 GMT -5
I know I keep saying it, but there's a lot of hard won (if not hard one!) wisdom on this forum!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2017 8:51:21 GMT -5
Ah, vacation sex. Same category as the elusive birthday sex, anniversary sex or valentine's day sex.
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Post by orangepeel on Aug 7, 2017 9:45:12 GMT -5
Or sex
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Post by shamwow on Aug 7, 2017 14:14:17 GMT -5
When I was married, birthday sex (especially during the later years) was like a sasquatch sighting. Rare, elusive, and pretty much mythical.
In retrospect, I would have had better odds booking a flight to the Pacific Northwest to find a lady Bigfoot and give her some temperate rain forest lovin'
This year, my lady is flying in a few days after my birthday (not on the weekend this year), but it will be close enough for me. Birthday sex for the first time in at least half a decade!
Edit: I am not getting tired in the slightest in typing "when I was married". Big ass smile every time I do.
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