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Post by shamwow on Aug 1, 2017 11:25:29 GMT -5
That and the demon Jagermiester typically did the trick for me too. Alcohol doesn't kill my desire or my ability. I have drank my self to the point that I blacked or passed out shortly after putting a condom on. When we woke up the following morning the condom was no where to be found, we presume it was flushed. It did the trick for my desire to an extent. Now I'm sober, I'm horny as fuck, though! And, it is possible that the condom fairy visited you. Did you get a quarter under the pillow? |
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Post by h on Aug 1, 2017 20:26:29 GMT -5
Often, it's not a replacement. It's a release. A very quick release to prevent the frustration from taking completely over. I also used porn to help with the release, often multiple times in the same day to kill my desire for the night. That way I wouldn't attempt to initiate sex with the W, and wouldn't get the rejection. I used it as a way to prevent the pain. I used to do the same but now my stamina has died enough that once in the morning and once in my nightly shower is enough to keep the frustration down. I suspect that in a few years, I won't even need it that often. |
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Post by bridgetleigh on Aug 1, 2017 20:52:56 GMT -5
Often, it's not a replacement. It's a release. A very quick release to prevent the frustration from taking completely over. I also used porn to help with the release, often multiple times in the same day to kill my desire for the night. That way I wouldn't attempt to initiate sex with the W, and wouldn't get the rejection. I used it as a way to prevent the pain. I have tried to get him to have sex. I even dressed up one night candles music and all and he just said im tired. It was only 6pm!! |
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Post by bballgirl on Aug 1, 2017 21:05:16 GMT -5
I also used porn to help with the release, often multiple times in the same day to kill my desire for the night. That way I wouldn't attempt to initiate sex with the W, and wouldn't get the rejection. I used it as a way to prevent the pain. I have tried to get him to have sex. I even dressed up one night candles music and all and he just said im tired. It was only 6pm!! If I could go back in time and try to nip it in the bud this is what I would have said: (I was way to passive for a lot of different reasons but your marriage is in crisis and an aggressive approach is needed) "Hey this no sex thing is not working and therefore this marriage is not working. I need sex twice a week and it needs to be enthusiastic sex that includes X, Y, and Z. I'm not begging you to fuck me and informing you that this relationship has a shelf life and a marriage without sex is like we are roommates. Do what you want with that information it's not a threat it's a warning". I would say that to your husband, lay your cards on the table, set a timetable and be prepared to walk. I'm divorced now but if I was dating a man or in a relationship and he was not making me happy then I would not continue to have that person in my life. People treat us the way we allow them to treat us. |
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Post by baza on Aug 1, 2017 21:11:08 GMT -5
You are pushing a commodity (your sexual availability) at him Sister bridgetleigh . Problem is, that this commodity is one he does not value or regard as being of much interest to him. You could have produced the same outcome (no sex) by just going - alone - to a movie you wanted to see. Now if you were pushing a commodity that he valued (porn according to your other comments) toward him, his response might be quite different, as he is quite partial to solo sex. That of course, still leaves you out in the cold. |
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Post by h on Aug 1, 2017 21:53:16 GMT -5
I also used porn to help with the release, often multiple times in the same day to kill my desire for the night. That way I wouldn't attempt to initiate sex with the W, and wouldn't get the rejection. I used it as a way to prevent the pain. I have tried to get him to have sex. I even dressed up one night candles music and all and he just said im tired. It was only 6pm!! Very sorry for you. I can't imagine how any man could turn a cold shoulder to an overt come on like that. |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Aug 1, 2017 22:02:56 GMT -5
Hi bridgetleigh. Im really sorry you had to live through this. You will find many of us have experienced this kind of rejection from our SO's. Please take bballgirl's advice to heart. It is good advice and she has been there. I also used porn to help with the release, often multiple times in the same day to kill my desire for the night. That way I wouldn't attempt to initiate sex with the W, and wouldn't get the rejection. I used it as a way to prevent the pain. I have tried to get him to have sex. I even dressed up one night candles music and all and he just said im tired. It was only 6pm!! |
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Post by bridgetleigh on Aug 1, 2017 22:35:22 GMT -5
Hey yall. Kinda off topic but I am in nees of seriouse help. My roof had to be replaced and only way i could pay for it was my credit card. I am now $8000 in debt and having a hard time paying it off. I am starting nursing school next spring and would love to get rid of my debt before i start!! Any help would be amazing!!! Please help me out www.gofundme.com/47rw1nc |
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Post by lyn on Aug 1, 2017 23:26:21 GMT -5
The spouse whacking off watching porn is the core problem here. And that ain't you Sister bridgetleigh . Unfortunately though, in these circumstances - and although you ain't the problem - it is probably going to end up with you having to mandate the resolution to the situation. You are NOT going to be able to cajole, beg, trick him, manipulate him, persuade him, convince him to desire you. And although it is very difficult, try and not take it personally. In all likelyhood this is just him being who and what he is rather than being a personal slight on you. That is to say, that he prefers to whack off to porn rather than engage his spouse. If you weren't his spouse, but some other chick was, likely it would be this other chick writing the story in here rather than you. A woman I know was in the same boat. After years of this, she came home one day to find used tissue on the edge of the tub, and snapped. She gave him an ultimatum, "You've got 30 days--see a counselor or see a lawyer." She pitched what Southerners like to call "the perfect hissy"; still married several years later. This is GOLD. |
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Post by Apocrypha on Aug 2, 2017 2:19:49 GMT -5
The problem is neither the porn, nor your spouse having a twang.
The problem is that your spouse doesn't want to fuck you, for... reasons.
You mentioned you both gained weight. No idea how much or how that affects either of your appearances or health. I find in general that even if a moderate amount of weight is lost, it doesn't restore attraction.
But whether he was having a twang, an affair, or spending time playing video games, working, or playing fantasy football - it's simply something he would rather do than fucking you - and that feels really shitty. But don't make it about the porn - that's a distraction.
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Post by bridgetleigh on Aug 2, 2017 2:38:34 GMT -5
The problem is neither the porn, nor your spouse having a twang. The problem is that your spouse doesn't want to fuck you, for... reasons. You mentioned you both gained weight. No idea how much or how that affects either of your appearances or health. I find in general that even if a moderate amount of weight is lost, it doesn't restore attraction. But whether he was having a twang, an affair, or spending time playing video games, working, or playing fantasy football - it's simply something he would rather do than fucking you - and that feels really shitty. But don't make it about the porn - that's a distraction. We went to marriage counseling and in there he told me that because of weight gain he is no longer physically attracted to me |
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Post by brian on Aug 2, 2017 5:39:47 GMT -5
The problem is neither the porn, nor your spouse having a twang. The problem is that your spouse doesn't want to fuck you, for... reasons. You mentioned you both gained weight. No idea how much or how that affects either of your appearances or health. I find in general that even if a moderate amount of weight is lost, it doesn't restore attraction. But whether he was having a twang, an affair, or spending time playing video games, working, or playing fantasy football - it's simply something he would rather do than fucking you - and that feels really shitty. But don't make it about the porn - that's a distraction. We went to marriage counseling and in there he told me that because of weight gain he is no longer physically attracted to me Is it viable to tell him that due to his attitude change, you no longer feel obligated to remain married to him? Does he really think that people won't put on some weight as they age? If he is so shallow that it's all about appearance, what happens as you both get older? Gray hair? A little saggy or wrinkly skin here and there? I don't care about my spouses weight when it comes to whether or not I am attracted to her. I am attracted to HER, not the package she comes in. Physically, she has NEVER been "my type", but it was the person she was that attracted me to her when we were dating. So you have to consider, for yourself, is it worth keeping up your appearance just for him to find you attractive? And for how long? What happens when you're both in your 50's? Will he then feel like he should go run around with ladies in their mid-20's because those are the only ones that are "attractive"? |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2017 9:11:26 GMT -5
I also used porn to help with the release, often multiple times in the same day to kill my desire for the night. That way I wouldn't attempt to initiate sex with the W, and wouldn't get the rejection. I used it as a way to prevent the pain. I have tried to get him to have sex. I even dressed up one night candles music and all and he just said im tired. It was only 6pm!! "I'm tired" - Excuse #7 in the refusers handbook. Honestly, it's baffling to me that someone you love could go to the effort of lighting candles, putting on music, wearing something nice and you don't participate. That's just screwed up and hurtful. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2017 17:21:43 GMT -5
Things is that we only hear one partners side of the story. Hard to give advice without knowing his point of view.
but there is a solution.
either have him post here too, or you can talk to him.....
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Post by bridgetleigh on Aug 5, 2017 17:23:14 GMT -5
Things is that we only hear one partners side of the story. Hard to give advice without knowing his point of view. but there is a solution. either have him post here too, or you can talk to him..... His point of veiw is since we gained weight he is no longer physically attracted to me |
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