The Argument FOR Marriage
Jul 15, 2017 7:41:33 GMT -5
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jul 15, 2017 7:41:33 GMT -5
Then I saw my husband drive up the street to our garage and I shut off the mower, leaving it where I was to go greet him. This is an "intentional" thing we do for each other every single day. I am not exaggerating. EVERY. DAY. We greet each other when the other comes home. Whatever the other is doing, they stop, meet the person at the door with a hug and a real kiss (not a peck but a soft and welcoming kiss) and usually saying something like, "I am so glad you are home!" "Welcome home, baby!" "Yay, you are home!" Or even just "love you" although I tend to add an "mmm... I love you." Then we reconnect and talk about our days a bit before moving on to the rest of the evening.
I share this because it's not a fantasy. It's what we do.
We didn't decide to do this, it's just what we do and have always done.
Would we continue to do this with kids and 20 years? Who the hell knows? And luckily for us, we won't have to explore that one because we live a quiet little kid-free life. When I had the grandkids for a week, though, I did greet him this way when he came home every night. But, I do recall missing him LIKE CRAZY that week because the kids came first. Oh, that first night they went home, I was like, "phew... back to our life!" lol (but I do love those kiddos)
I do see us doing this 20 years from now, though --- it's just "who we are" --- I am that person who DOES THAT. HE is that person who DOES THAT. That's why we jive well together.
I am not saying every couple "should do that." But something feels wonderful about it. My ex didn't do that. He was usually either playing his video games or watching tv when I got home. He would greet me with a "hey, how's it going" or something similar, but definitely no touch. No hug. No happiness to see me. Makes me shudder to recall thinking I lived 15 years with that.
I don't know.. just more thoughts. No, our life is not perfect. He's not perfect. I am not perfect. We just work well together. I am saying this because when you work well with someone, it's a whole new ballgame. After a SM? It's one you won't take for granted.
It's not marriage's fault that marriages fail. Those same people who get lazy in a marriage will get lazy in a long term relationship (unless they are the type of person who sought help and self-improvement). Even living together you have to DECIDE to leave if it doesn't work out. BREAK ties, move, etc.
I remember in my first year of marriage when my H came home greeting him at the door to hug and kiss him sort of like a puppy dog running to the door, very excited and very playful. He told me not to do that. He needed time to decompress after work. I obliged. We had no business being married.
I waited a lot of years for my wife to actually do anything to greet me in a kind, open, and welcoming way. I told her i wished that she would at least act like she couldn't wait for me to get home. She told me that she had never felt that way. And yet i stuck it out for many many years after this. We had no business being married either.
