rev316
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Age Range: 56-60
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Post by rev316 on Jun 28, 2017 11:08:24 GMT -5
I have come to realize I just don't care any more.
I used to care. I used to think that things could be fixed.
Now, meh...
If it weren't for that little sick feeling in my stomach, it'd be meh, meh.
Wife's excuses: I'm tired. UTI. Back hurts.
Wife's deflections: Go to bed early (7:30 p.m.) or wait up until late reading until I'm asleep. Playing possum...pretending to be asleep in the morning. The never to be claimed "rain check" to put off evening intimacy allegedly for a morning romp. The morning potty dash...get up to go, and then hop in clothes and go downstairs to feed, let the dog out and begin the day. And, the ever popular "body pillow," a 2X5 foot Maginot line positioned between us.
Wife's reasons: My libido left with menopause. I don't like that...(any kind of oral anything) ... in fact, anything but flat footed Missionary.
I have come upon the term "outsourcing," here and kinda like it. I was thinking of "hunting."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2017 11:12:50 GMT -5
I can certainly understand. So what do you do with your desire? Hold your breath until it passes?
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Post by twotimesone on Jun 28, 2017 11:29:38 GMT -5
I agree with flashjohn. If you are here by now maybe you should just give up on trying to get your romps from your wife and talk about alternative strategies. Do you have an exit strategy or what are your plans for outsourcing?
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Post by beachguy on Jun 28, 2017 11:37:27 GMT -5
Love is perishable. You no longer give a shit. She's trained you well not to want her, and she's succeeded brilliantly.
Presumably you no longer ask, so she no longer has any opportunity to reject you. Don't be surprised that shortly after you've gone over this cliff, never to return, she starts seducing you. So she can reestablish the status quo where she can regularly reject you. So many mind fucks....
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Post by cagedadventurer on Jun 28, 2017 12:29:55 GMT -5
But of course, the clothes! I thought she just wanted to be comfortable around the house. Dang she looks good when she goes out - if even to shop at Wal-Mart! But at home, dressed to kill. Kill the mood that is. I ignore that and press for sex anyway BUT there is no coincidence of the clash of attire at home vs. away. It is so deliberate!
Rev316 - your scenario is not unique. Avoid, play possom, pretend to be busy, run , run, run, hide, hide, hide. The least she could do is pay half the mortgage!
Yea, my care attitude is at about 1.62% from 100 when I was out of school. Why do I bother with any of it? All the responsibility, being a man, doing what a man does so I can be dismissed? Well, I'll hang onto and build on the 1.62% because I want to take my life back and have some adventure! I want to take my boys somewhere and not have her interfere with everything they try to do and make them wash their hands every 45 seconds. On a vacation, I want a woman who will send the glance my way then send the kids to the breakfast buffet while we make good on the opportunity! A woman who emails me a special she found for a short cruise or a getaway to kayak with some whales. But I spend and have spent so much time trying to make a marriage "work" thinking I am doing the right thing, while life is racing on by. Thanks for all the insight everyone! Today I am planning for me and the boys. I will start by re-reading my favorite book the 4 Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferriss. He's living my life! - note he is UNMARRIED....
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rev316
New Member
Married
Posts: 10
Age Range: 56-60
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Meh
Jun 28, 2017 14:30:28 GMT -5
Post by rev316 on Jun 28, 2017 14:30:28 GMT -5
I can certainly understand. So what do you do with your desire? Hold your breath until it passes? Not holding my breath. We've got a small horse farm (so now you'll know I'm in the South East rather than the South like Texas or the South West where the spread is known as a "ranch" instead of a "farm") so there's always something physical to do after desire has been stuffed down. I was fortunate in being able to retire very early from the 9-5 career. Now do some freelance consulting, writing, a couple old German cars I tinker with and of course there's always something to do on the farm. Not a gym rat but work out 3 days a week and am fitter than 80 percent of the guys I see on the street regardless of age. My wife just retired from a rather exotic but very technical job. She used to be away two weeks of each month at a remote location. I'm thinking part of the problem is adjusting to the absence of the highs and lows of the coming and going. Our pattern was that the day after she got home, we'd have a romp and then once or twice before she had to leave again. As for romp quality, probably a 3 or maybe 4 versus a 10 = a half-day marathon with my former Italian-Hungarian New Jersey girl friend. So now we're together all the time and there's nothing special about anything and no "reason" to romp. Just Meh. |
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Meh
Jun 28, 2017 15:25:56 GMT -5
Post by twotimesone on Jun 28, 2017 15:25:56 GMT -5
I can certainly understand. So what do you do with your desire? Hold your breath until it passes? Not holding my breath. We've got a small horse farm (so now you'll know I'm in the South East rather than the South like Texas or the South West where the spread is known as a "ranch" instead of a "farm") so there's always something physical to do after desire has been stuffed down. I was fortunate in being able to retire very early from the 9-5 career. Now do some freelance consulting, writing, a couple old German cars I tinker with and of course there's always something to do on the farm. Not a gym rat but work out 3 days a week and am fitter than 80 percent of the guys I see on the street regardless of age. My wife just retired from a rather exotic but very technical job. She used to be away two weeks of each month at a remote location. I'm thinking part of the problem is adjusting to the absence of the highs and lows of the coming and going. Our pattern was that the day after she got home, we'd have a romp and then once or twice before she had to leave again. As for romp quality, probably a 3 or maybe 4 versus a 10 = a half-day marathon with my former Italian-Hungarian New Jersey girl friend. So now we're together all the time and there's nothing special about anything and no "reason" to romp. Just Meh. Like Flashjohn says, what do you want then? At least you can romp with your wife, which is more than what most people here would get. Are you willing to spend the time and money to outsource? Old men are expected to pay to outsource younger women. Are you willing to exit from your wife? |
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Post by seabr33z3 on Jun 28, 2017 16:03:35 GMT -5
I have come to realize I just don't care any more. I used to care. I used to think that things could be fixed. Now, meh... If it weren't for that little sick feeling in my stomach, it'd be meh, meh. Wife's excuses: I'm tired. UTI. Back hurts. Wife's deflections: Go to bed early (7:30 p.m.) or wait up until late reading until I'm asleep. Playing possum...pretending to be asleep in the morning. The never to be claimed "rain check" to put off evening intimacy allegedly for a morning romp. The morning potty dash...get up to go, and then hop in clothes and go downstairs to feed, let the dog out and begin the day. And, the ever popular "body pillow," a 2X5 foot Maginot line positioned between us. Wife's reasons: My libido left with menopause. I don't like that...(any kind of oral anything) ... in fact, anything but flat footed Missionary. I have come upon the term "outsourcing," here and kinda like it. I was thinking of "hunting." Your quality of life (relationship aside)sounds idyllic. I guess the question is, are you prepared to give that all up for perhaps, possibly, maybe finding a fulfilling relationship? For most of us here there is a lot of weighing up to do. For some the loss of a lifestyle is worth it for peace of mind, even if that means remaining alone for the rest of your life. Ask yourself would leaving make you any happier. If you choose to stay and find a relationship outside of your marriage is it worth the fallout of being discovered? We all understand 'meh'. Some days it's all capitals. MEH, MEH and MEH. |
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rev316
New Member
Married
Posts: 10
Age Range: 56-60
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Meh
Jun 28, 2017 16:21:58 GMT -5
Post by rev316 on Jun 28, 2017 16:21:58 GMT -5
I have come to realize I just don't care any more. I used to care. I used to think that things could be fixed. Now, meh... If it weren't for that little sick feeling in my stomach, it'd be meh, meh. Wife's excuses: I'm tired. UTI. Back hurts. Wife's deflections: Go to bed early (7:30 p.m.) or wait up until late reading until I'm asleep. Playing possum...pretending to be asleep in the morning. The never to be claimed "rain check" to put off evening intimacy allegedly for a morning romp. The morning potty dash...get up to go, and then hop in clothes and go downstairs to feed, let the dog out and begin the day. And, the ever popular "body pillow," a 2X5 foot Maginot line positioned between us. Wife's reasons: My libido left with menopause. I don't like that...(any kind of oral anything) ... in fact, anything but flat footed Missionary. I have come upon the term "outsourcing," here and kinda like it. I was thinking of "hunting." Your quality of life (relationship aside)sounds idyllic. I guess the question is, are you prepared to give that all up for perhaps, possibly, maybe finding a fulfilling relationship? For most of us here there is a lot of weighing up to do. For some the loss of a lifestyle is worth it for peace of mind, even if that means remaining alone for the rest of your life. Ask yourself would leaving make you any happier. If you choose to stay and find a relationship outside of your marriage is it worth the fallout of being discovered? We all understand 'meh'. Some days it's all capitals. MEH, MEH and MEH. |
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rev316
New Member
Married
Posts: 10
Age Range: 56-60
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Meh
Jun 28, 2017 16:37:17 GMT -5
Post by rev316 on Jun 28, 2017 16:37:17 GMT -5
"Idyllic?" I guess some would see it that way. I see it as 80/20 with things being 80 percent perfect, nice, good & okay; and 20 percent being crappy. And, just as in a classroom where 80 percent of the kids are good and 20 percent misbehave, it's the "20 percent" that gets the attention and energy...unless you reach "Meh."
Can't leave...we have more financial chains binding us than Morley's Ghost.
Wouldn't really want to go hunting, but it sure would be nice to be wanted. It'd be nice to know I've "still got it."
She's not cold or disrespectful, aside from bedroom frigidity. Cooking is her way of showing affection and that's great except since she's retired she's cooking most of the time and they're rich over-the-top meals. It's taken a month and a half but we're past the hurt feelings if I don't eat everything stage. I always watch my weight since I can get fat on air and when she was gone, cooked sparingly but healthfully. So, stopped all alcohol and am doing portion control. Hurts me to throw stuff out though. Yes, we've talked about that, but she just doesn't get it.
And, one of the other posters mentioned clothes...unless we're going someplace nice, she schleps around in jeans and a tshirt (one of mine and overly large)and no bra. She's gained weight and her stomach sticks out further than her chest. I don't like it.
But, meh...
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Post by beachguy on Jun 28, 2017 16:58:36 GMT -5
Refusing to compromise on cooking healthy meals for you is quite disrespectful. Her way or the highway, and damned your health... Really?
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 28, 2017 17:01:03 GMT -5
"She's not cold or disrespectful, aside from bedroom frigidity. Cooking is her way of showing affection and that's great except since she's retired she's cooking most of the time and they're rich over-the-top meals. It's taken a month and a half but we're past the hurt feelings if I don't eat everything stage. I always watch my weight since I can get fat on air and when she was gone, cooked sparingly but healthfully. So, stopped all alcohol and am doing portion control. Hurts me to throw stuff out though. Yes, we've talked about that, but she just doesn't get it.
And, one of the other posters mentioned clothes...unless we're going someplace nice, she schleps around in jeans and a tshirt (one of mine and overly large)and no bra. She's gained weight and her stomach sticks out further than her chest. I don't like it. "
She's forcing food on you, gaining weight, and dressing unappealingly on purpose. She doesn't want to have sex with you and doesn't want you to desire her. She's saying married because she doesn't want to give uup its benefits, but she really doesn't want you other than financially.
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Post by beachguy on Jun 28, 2017 17:07:12 GMT -5
^^^ sums it up quite nicely
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Meh
Jun 28, 2017 18:50:21 GMT -5
Post by twotimesone on Jun 28, 2017 18:50:21 GMT -5
By the way you sound that you "have more financial chains binding us than Morley's Ghost." Sounds like you can't fandom the issue of separating from your wife. Maybe instead of 'retiring,' you should get your own bank account, get a part time job and use the money to go to providers.
A wife who cooks well and you are complaining? I wish my wife cooks a half decent meal if I am lucky. 80% nice and 20% crappy and you expect a marriage be all peaches and cream? Can I take your wife?
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Post by baza on Jun 28, 2017 20:37:10 GMT -5
Appears that you bring a number of things to the marital table that your missus values. Money and lifestyle. And she embraces those things with enthusiasm.
Appears that you also bring other things to the marital table that she couldn't give a fuck about. A desire for a robust sexual component to the deal and for the deal to be a genuine partnership. And she ignores those things with equal unenthusiasm.
What is she bringing to the table - apart from an ability to produce artery clogging food ?
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