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Post by McRoomMate on Jun 21, 2017 19:25:43 GMT -5
So I finish my first "Post Sexless Marriage" relationship - we lasted 6 months.
The basic problem - I was not around enough - It is true I work long hours and travel and come home late. She could not take the separation plus she had a borderline psycho jealousy streak - she had nothing to be jealous about but what does reality have to do with the overly jealous.
She said the sex was fantastic and I gave her types of orgasms she never had before and kissing for hours etc., but that was not enough. She said she loved me but was not happy and it would only get worse between us so she ended it.
I am not upset yet because the reality has not set in . . . and I am now officially single for the first time since Lord knows in the early 90s.
So away we go . . . back to the Universe of Possibilities . . .
Long way long past due - time FINALLY to focus on me.
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 21, 2017 19:34:07 GMT -5
Focus on yourself and have fun!
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 21, 2017 19:42:53 GMT -5
McRoomMate, regrets to you, but kudos to her. Not for giving you the boot, per se, but for recognizing she was unhappy, assessing her outlook, and then taking action to change things despite "everything else is great". Many of us here could benefit from being a bit more selfish and mercenary. Mind you... this presumes the relationship was healthy enough that she raised these issues with you and tried to resolve them before pulling the plug. It's not much of a commitment to the relationship if that effort wasn't made first. Either way, best wishes for your next adventure!
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Post by lwoetin on Jun 21, 2017 20:58:16 GMT -5
I don't get it. Great sex and extraordinary orgasms. You're a decent guy. And she still leaves. Something's not right with her.
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Post by wewbwb on Jun 21, 2017 21:17:45 GMT -5
McRoomMate , regrets to you, but kudos to her. Not for giving you the boot, per se, but for recognizing she was unhappy, assessing her outlook, and then taking action to change things despite "everything else is great". Many of us here could benefit from being a bit more selfish and mercenary. Mind you... this presumes the relationship was healthy enough that she raised these issues with you and tried to resolve them before pulling the plug. It's not much of a commitment to the relationship if that effort wasn't made first. Either way, best wishes for your next adventure! I have to say that I didn't put that together . Interestingly , this is proof that "sex isn't everything " Thank you DryCreek for the point of view. Thank you @mcroommate for sharing this experience . I wish you happiness and joy in your next adventure . |
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 21, 2017 21:56:12 GMT -5
I have to say that I didn't put that together . Interestingly , this is proof that "sex isn't everything " Thank you DryCreek for the point of view. I'll admit it's an odd perspective, but that's one of the things I like about this site... different ways of looking at the same issue. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Jun 22, 2017 0:46:43 GMT -5
McRoomMate , regrets to you, but kudos to her. Not for giving you the boot, per se, but for recognizing she was unhappy, assessing her outlook, and then taking action to change things despite "everything else is great". Many of us here could benefit from being a bit more selfish and mercenary. Mind you... this presumes the relationship was healthy enough that she raised these issues with you and tried to resolve them before pulling the plug. It's not much of a commitment to the relationship if that effort wasn't made first. Either way, best wishes for your next adventure! yes many issues were addressed repeatedly and with effort and care . . . just not resolvable. Funny (peculiar) indeed . . . some people including Yours Truly, take years and years to even begin to think about making a decision . . . she took a few months. A bit more selfish and mercenary as you put it . . . not a bad idea. |
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Post by baza on Jun 22, 2017 1:09:52 GMT -5
Adventurous past year for you Brother @mcroommate
After all this on / off / on / off with your missus and your girlfriend and the divorce and all, it might be a good time to take a deep breath and just go with the flow a bit.
At some point it might be helpful to take a full inventory of what exactly happened in all this, and what parts of it you own, and develop a bit of a strategy for what comes next.
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Post by McRoomMate on Jun 22, 2017 1:34:06 GMT -5
Adventurous past year for you Brother @mcroommate After all this on / off / on / off with your missus and your girlfriend and the divorce and all, it might be a good time to take a deep breath and just go with the flow a bit. At some point it might be helpful to take a full inventory of what exactly happened in all this, and what parts of it you own, and develop a bit of a strategy for what comes next. Thank-you Brother baza Love your "suggestions" - Yes, an inventory (perhaps better said inquest) damn sure seems the order of the day. |
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 22, 2017 5:57:20 GMT -5
"I don't get it. Great sex and extraordinary orgasms. You're a decent guy. And she still leaves. Something's not right with her."
Makes sense to me. Due to his travel schedule, she wasn't able to see him as much as she likes in a relationship. Thus, she wouldn't have had the emotional, social or sex life she wanted. While great weekly (for instance) sex in a good relationship probably sounds wonderful to people here who may have gone years and decades without sex. It may not be enough for people with high sex drives and such a person may not be willing to settle for taking care of themselves. Some people also don't think a weekend (for instance) relationship is much of a relationship. Having mates who are in the armed forces or are travelling salespeople isn't for everyone.
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Post by McRoomMate on Jun 22, 2017 8:21:37 GMT -5
Now she says she is sorry and was crazy with jealousy ! ! ! Crazy with jealousy and I did nothing but work long hours and see my children and she felt abandoned too alone. This is reasonable but she went nuts 3 times in a week or so over this and gave me a 3 hour speech about how much of a horrible person I am and we are not right together.
I will have to google "psycho girlfriend" now. Jeez Louise
The drama never freaking ends.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 22, 2017 8:32:27 GMT -5
Now she says she is sorry and was crazy with jealousy ! ! ! Crazy with jealousy and I did nothing but work long hours and see my children and she felt abandoned too alone. This is reasonable but she went nuts 3 times in a week or so over this and gave me a 3 hour speech about how much of a horrible person I am and we are not right together. I will have to google "psycho girlfriend" now. Jeez Louise The drama never freaking ends. Get a dog. Much more reliable and dependable. |
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Post by Caris on Jun 22, 2017 12:53:41 GMT -5
It sounds like you went straight from your marriage to a new relationship, so "you" time is probably a good thing. Then again, everyone is different, so who knows. I needed the space, 2-years now, and no dates on the horizon, but that's how it goes.
Take care of yourself, and when it hits you, know you are not alone.
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Post by Caris on Jun 22, 2017 12:58:53 GMT -5
Now she says she is sorry and was crazy with jealousy ! ! ! Crazy with jealousy and I did nothing but work long hours and see my children and she felt abandoned too alone. This is reasonable but she went nuts 3 times in a week or so over this and gave me a 3 hour speech about how much of a horrible person I am and we are not right together. I will have to google "psycho girlfriend" now. Jeez Louise The drama never freaking ends. She's probably carrying baggage too, and has her own insecurities to deal with, like we all do. I don't know her to know if she's actually psycho, but it may be just like I said. |
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Post by WindSister on Jun 22, 2017 13:26:44 GMT -5
Now she says she is sorry and was crazy with jealousy ! ! ! Crazy with jealousy and I did nothing but work long hours and see my children and she felt abandoned too alone. This is reasonable but she went nuts 3 times in a week or so over this and gave me a 3 hour speech about how much of a horrible person I am and we are not right together. I will have to google "psycho girlfriend" now. Jeez Louise The drama never freaking ends. Red Flag. And I say this having "jealousy tendencies" but I have been actively and painfully working on that much like one would addiction, etc. People CAN change but they have to want to (when it comes to any less-than-stellar character trait). But, aside from that I say --- this is a crazy time and you will attract crazy, so be mindful of that. The DYNAMICS of the energy you both bring to the relationship can lead to the craziness, it doesn't necessarily mean "she" is crazy or "you" are crazy. If that makes sense. It does to me anyway. You are fresh out of your marriage and I am sure still carrying some grief, sadness. She is aware of that and it gets to her. Breathe. Do fun things with her if you want, but allow space and time to heal. |
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