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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2017 14:02:27 GMT -5
Sounds like more drama than I would want to deal with.
I don't like it when people keep dropping me and then thinking they can just get back together again....over and over and over.
I think one breakup and reunion can be reasonable. Sometimes people realize they may have let a good thing go.
But more than once? No. Just no.
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Post by McRoomMate on Jun 22, 2017 17:38:16 GMT -5
WindSister Caris Thank-you lovely ladies for the insights. Now everything is back to "normal". Love it yes indeed crazy attracts crazy. Space. Each with his/her own baggage (and it does not make a perfectly "matching set". The key word now hearing her diatribe last night was she felt "insecure" in our couple. So more TLC. Needs to get ramped up. The "psycho" comment I made was probably an exageration - though she was pretty mean and cold - she said she did it to make me hurt because she hurt. She said she was sorry about a hundred times today and she was shaking and a nervous wreck thinking about her behavior last night. This is the price of passion. It is a reasonable price.
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Post by McRoomMate on Jun 22, 2017 17:39:57 GMT -5
Sounds like more drama than I would want to deal with. I don't like it when people keep dropping me and then thinking they can just get back together again....over and over and over. I think one breakup and reunion can be reasonable. Sometimes people realize they may have let a good thing go. But more than once? No. Just no. Oh high drama indeed. I would not really call it a "break-up" we never left each others company and the whole seems resolved. I would chalk it up to a very mega-drama form of communciation to make a point. She got my attention. I get what needs fixing now. |
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 22, 2017 17:53:35 GMT -5
She seems high maintainable, high drama and manipulative in that I think the breakup was a ploy to control you. Is the sex worth it? Any chance you jumped from one bad relationship to another that looks different but is just as difficult? People who throw jealousy fits odor no reason are dysfunctional .
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 22, 2017 19:11:05 GMT -5
This is the price of passion. It is a reasonable price. One day of the attributes I've always valued in W is her even-keeled lack of drama. However, I came to suspect that it came hand-in-hand with lack of passion and emotion. I've long wondered if one must accept a bit of crazy to get the passion. Stereotypically, think about the more passionate cultures that come to mind - those same cultures tend to have a reputation for volatile emotions. |
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 22, 2017 19:25:36 GMT -5
I have a lover with passion and romance. He is a creative, intense lover but overall has an even disposition and is not crazy or jealous. I am passionate but not crazy or jealous.
It is possible to find a passionate lover who isn't nuts. Don't assume that you can't find the whole package.
I used to believe all men who were good in bed also were mean and cheaters. I've learned that's not true.
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Post by lwoetin on Jun 22, 2017 19:33:30 GMT -5
Now she says she is sorry and was crazy with jealousy ! ! ! Crazy with jealousy and I did nothing but work long hours and see my children and she felt abandoned too alone. This is reasonable but she went nuts 3 times in a week or so over this and gave me a 3 hour speech about how much of a horrible person I am and we are not right together. I will have to google "psycho girlfriend" now. Jeez Louise The drama never freaking ends. she finally came to her senses. You're a good guy, mcroomy! As to psycho gf, let us know how it goes. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Jun 22, 2017 19:43:22 GMT -5
This is the price of passion. It is a reasonable price. One day of the attributes I've always valued in W is her even-keeled lack of drama. However, I came to suspect that it came hand-in-hand with lack of passion and emotion. I've long wondered if one must accept a bit of crazy to get the passion. Stereotypically, think about the more passionate cultures that come to mind - those same cultures tend to have a reputation for volatile emotions. You nailed it. I did not want to say it. I guess it is sort of obvious even between the words . . . She is LATINA. I generally don't like "stereotypes" but this Jealous Passion thing - well there it is. |
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 22, 2017 20:05:11 GMT -5
I generally don't like "stereotypes" but this Jealous Passion thing - well there it is. Funny. I wasn't thinking Latina, which is curious since I'm practically on the Mexican border. But I do understand... And northstarmom, good to hear. Of course, if I actually thought about it, *I'm* not crazy (really!), but (I think) I'm passionate... |
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 22, 2017 20:43:13 GMT -5
One of my best friends is a beautiful Latina. She is passionate about life-- has own and flown a hot air balloon, kayaks, was the target of a hit in her country due to her activism, internationally travels, gets passionately in love a lot ( and says she loves sex) but is not crazy or jealous or manipulative.
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Post by JMX on Jun 22, 2017 23:49:14 GMT -5
I have read a couple of your posts (especially early on so - please forgive if this does not stand) and I get the feeling you vacillate easily between emotions at whiplash speed, which is equally exciting as well as sad.
Like attracts like and all. At least it's interesting.
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Post by baza on Jun 22, 2017 23:55:51 GMT -5
There has been one common denominator in all this drama with your on / off / on / off stuff with your missus, and the on / off / on with "the love of my life" (if I have quoted you correctly in older posts) or by more recent description "a jealous pyscho" or similar.
That common denominator is you Brother McRoomMate.
Perhaps a case could be made to shelve any further relationship shenanigans for a while, and just sit with yourself for a bit, and sort some stuff out.
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Post by nancyb on Jun 23, 2017 7:47:31 GMT -5
^^ Indeed.
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Post by becca on Jun 23, 2017 8:14:07 GMT -5
I guess it all comes down to what your threshold for crazy is, McRoomMate. If this relationship is only 6 months old and you are seeing this intense jealousy, I would be cautious. Very cautious.
Six months?? This is still the honeymoon period. I shudder to think how it will be a few years from now.
You have a job.
You have children.
These things aren't going to change.
It would be one thing for her to be jealous of other women but focusing on those reasons for her insecurities sets off my spidey senses.
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 23, 2017 8:24:59 GMT -5
Maybe it is a good thing she left.
I expect every woman is going to have baggage.
I'm ok with baggage. In fact, I'm ecstatic about baggage. It means she's been through something, and maybe we can help each other heal a bit.
One thing I am not expecting is permanency. No commitments. No shared assets. Just shared experiences for only as long as we mutually want them. Nothing more.
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