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Post by Caris on May 23, 2017 10:56:46 GMT -5
CarisI'm sorry for your loss. You are not alone and your family is in my thoughts. Hugs. Thank you bballgirl. 🙏 |
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Post by Caris on May 23, 2017 11:06:59 GMT -5
Caris - I have thought of you recently and I am glad to see you write, even though it is with sad news. I'm glad you knew that posting here could give you a little relief, a little bit of comfort. It is strange how grief expresses. Let it express is the only thing to do. I believe the death of our SM spouse is a very valid topic to post on - whether we are still with them or not with them. I value your voice, your expression of you. I'm glad you shared here. Love you, sister. Thank you, Grant. It was only the last few days, I thought "I need to make some acquaintances, and have some people in my life." At times like this, you realize being alone is not good. When I'm up to it, I'll try and get out. I'm an introvert, and have become used to my own company, but it does get lonely at times, and we all need back up. ((hugs)) |
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Post by Caris on May 23, 2017 11:12:23 GMT -5
Hello Caris! I still see your name and picture in my following group.( I keep it there, hoping to hear from you again!) I wonder how you are doing? I think about you. I remember your story. It's super nice to hear back from you! My 25th wedding anniversary is coming up, my marriage is dead. My divorce will be going on a year. I'll be moving, a new job, starting over. I'll know no one. See others understand, and have much in common. You deserve to be wanted, and cherished, just like the rest of us. Hello GC. What group do you mean? It's hard at the beginning, well it was for me, but it does get easier with time, and I had made progress coming up to the 2-year mark, but this has knocked me back a bit, so I'll give it more time. No other choice. All the best with everything you face. I've survived through it, and you will too. |
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Post by Caris on May 23, 2017 11:20:14 GMT -5
Caris Welcome back though sad for the news. I am one of the new faces. Actually my first wife passed away a few years after our divorce ( I am in the middle of getting out of my second marriage). It was very hard on our daughter. As has been said: You are not alone here. My Deep condolences and Empathies sent to you. Thank you very much, and nice to meet you. So you have been through this too. *sigh* I'm sorry. I'm not able to tell my youngest yet. Maybe in a few days. It hits them hard, and he's alone, so that worries me, but has to be done eventually. Wish you strength getting out of your second. It's tough. |
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Hello
May 23, 2017 11:21:48 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Caris on May 23, 2017 11:21:48 GMT -5
Caris, you have been missed. I am sorry that you must pass through this. Thank you for your kind words. |
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Hello
May 23, 2017 16:33:52 GMT -5
via mobile
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2017 16:33:52 GMT -5
Caris, I am sorry for your loss. Please know that you're welcome to post here any time. All of us here have gone through more or less hell. We need each other.
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Hello
May 23, 2017 17:20:00 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Caris on May 23, 2017 17:20:00 GMT -5
Caris, I am sorry for your loss. Please know that you're welcome to post here any time. All of us here have gone through more or less hell. We need each other. Thanks, Kat. I appreciate it, and yes we have. ((Hugs)) |
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Post by unmatched on May 23, 2017 19:05:13 GMT -5
Hi Caris, it is nice to see you back.  |
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2017 20:14:57 GMT -5
Hi Caris, I'm sincerely sad you're struggling. And I'm so sorry you haven't started socializing. Caris, I sincerely believe someone needs you badly. It would be really nice for you to go out and make their day. You know what I'm talking about. |
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Post by JMX on May 23, 2017 20:59:42 GMT -5
Caris - I have thought of you often and hoped you were well. I am so sorry for what you're going through. Sincerest hugs and ❤️ coming your way.
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Post by TMD on May 23, 2017 23:42:56 GMT -5
Oh Caris, my heart is sad for your loss. When we cut the ties to a marriage we grieve the loss of it, and the person we once loved, whose physical presence, their personhood, is still "there." Somebody we can still reach out to, who, generally, knows us quite well. Even if they fell short when it comes to our needs, they matter, there's a significant hostory
When somebody we care(d) about dies, it feels like they become intangible. A different sort of grief, in my experience. Something you can't quite grasp for any longer. It's difficult. And frustrating. And deeply sad. ((I lost a friend 12 years ago; miss her everyday. Maybe not the same as losing a (former) partner, but she and I had a unique, intimate friendship.))
Sending you wishes for peace and healing as you navigate through this.
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Post by nolongerlonely on May 24, 2017 1:13:28 GMT -5
Caris sorry to read your news and feelings. I've not been here long but have gained great support from the forum and the people on here, please do carry on posting whenever you want to reach out for any reason. For me, enduring this way of life has made me a very introverted, inwardly sad person. The people here really have helped me to find a way forward. Please embrace whats around you here and look at where you are now and where you might be in the future. Try not to look back, none of that can change. (Great words coming from someone who has done that far too much). Hugs too
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Hello
May 24, 2017 8:52:01 GMT -5
Caris likes this
Post by northstarmom on May 24, 2017 8:52:01 GMT -5
Caris,
I'm sorry for your loss. And, yes, it is a loss when someone whom we've loved and spent years together with passes away. Your divorce doesn't mean you stopped caring for him.
You belong here. This site isn't just for people who are in SMs or who are out of them and are coupled or looking for partners.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2017 10:19:09 GMT -5
Hi Caris. I'm not on the boards much anymore, but I remember your name from about a year ago when I was online a lot trying to figure out my own SM. Your post touched me and I wanted to reach out and tell you how sorry I am for your loss. It is definitely a loss regardless of the divorce, and I can only imagine the conflicting emotions you must be feeling now. I won't presume to speak to your exact situation or emotions, but I know that I've long expected an apology from my husband, however unrealistic that is given his lack of awareness of the situation or the hurt he's caused. But if he were to pass, any hope of an apology and some kind of resolution over what happened would be lost. I most likely will never get an apology anyway. But the hope is there and that hope would be lost forever if he passed. That's a death in itself, the death of hope. Even once I divorce, I will always have a place in my heart for my husband and the years we spent together. I wouldn't be human if I didn't. You're a human. You have a soft and loving heart. That's the kind of heart that gets hurt. But that's the kind of heart that loves and has great capacity to love. It's the two sides of the coin, the love and the hurt. You have both and it's a beautiful thing. Even if it hurts. I don't want to be trite, but being able to hurt like this is a gift. You'll wade through it and come out the other side, ready to love again. Like @creelunion said, someone out there needs you. Someone out there is waiting for your sensitive heart. Maybe it's a friend, a child, a family member, a love interest, maybe it's a cause, a higher purpose. Whoever or whatever it is, the world needs more hearts like yours. Please take care of yourself. I don't know your situation, but maybe a support group could help, one for grieving, or perhaps a counselor. We're here for you too. Hugs. -Elle |
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Hello
May 24, 2017 11:57:14 GMT -5
Caris likes this
Post by WindSister on May 24, 2017 11:57:14 GMT -5
Sounds like you came to the right place. Sorry for the hurt you are feeling right now. Sending good thoughts....
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