T-Plus-15: Divorce Finalized
T-Minus-15: Shammy can't wait for his lady to visit again...time to fly the friendly skies
T-Minus-22: Operation Run Amuck (solo edition) begins
Well, I'm a little over two weeks out of my divorce being finalized. It's been a little less than a month since I moved into my own place. All of the boxes that need to be unpacked inside have been unpacked. The garage is still a demilitarized zone, but that will be taken care of this weekend (I don't have the kids). Today, I'd like to talk about long distance relationships, mileage cards, and running amuck throughout the country.
As I discussed before, getting divorced is expensive. Even if you get half of the "stuff", it means that you still have half of the "stuff" you need to buy to get set up. It might be expensive stuff such as furniture, or simple things such as flatware. It all adds up, and it all needs to be acquired. If you're not careful, your credit can also take a decent whack. Most people don't really understand the sorcery behind a FICO score, but once out on your own, that FICO score will determine you interest rate for purchases and even whether you can get approved for credit at all.
One way that a credit score takes a hit is the ratio of available revolving debt to what is utilized. Let's say that you have 10k in credit card debt with your spouse and a limit of 20k. And that 20k limit is split among cards that are mainly in your spouses name. When you divorce, you split the debt (5k), but you may have less available credit (say 7k) because the cards go to your ex. Well, lenders look at that and say "wow, this person is maxxed on available credit". You are now a risk, even though you did not do anything "risky". But get another card or two with available credit and you don't look as scary to a lender. You may still take a hit, but not as bad. In my case, I was just a signer on the two cards we'd had for 20 years. I needed to get some more available credit ASAP to keep my score intact. So if I needed credit cards, I decided to be smart about it and get some that had good rewards programs. Examples are here:
www.valuepenguin.com/best-airlines-miles-credit-cardsI chose the Chase Saphire and Barclay's US card. Spend 3k on one and you get 50k miles. Spend 4k on the other and you get another 50k miles. Plus, of course double miles on certain things. I knew I needed to buy new bedroom furniture for myself and the kids as well as mattresses. Easy to spend that kind of money rebuilding everything from scratch. So now, I've got roughly 120k airline miles.
Commencing Operation Run Amuck
The basic principle behind Operation Run Amuck is that it's no use to get divorced and just sit my ass at home watching reruns of "my 600 pound life". As entertaining as that may be, I didn't get divorced, separate my family, lose 300k from my nest egg, spend 100k in child support just to watch TV. I did it so I would have the OPPORTUNITY to LIVE. The initial step in Operation Run Amuck didn't actually involve me running amuck, but it involved my lady coming to visit. Despite some, uh, complications on my side, that weekend was an amazing experience (and a fucking hell of a lot of fun - pun intended).
Now that I've got my airline miles and essentially 6 free flights, I've decided to go visit HER in 15 days. I mean, the airfare is free. She will pick me up at the airport. We stay at her new place. As far as entertainment goes? We'll figure something out, I'm sure. She has a work event on Saturday morning, but lives 2 miles from the beach. I can't think of many better ways to spend a half day than a jog to a sunny California beach, hang out, meditate, and jog back. All while (presumably) still bathing in the previous evening's afterglow. Two weeks after that? We switch directions and she flies to see me.
Is that an ideal relationship? Who knows? What the hell, exactly, is an ideal relationship? We really enjoy each other (both in bed and out). We have the common experience of living in a SM for the same reasons. We "get" each other. We have been healing each other for months. We are also exploring so many "firsts" with each other, it is just amazing (we feel like kids). In addition, we both have these wonderful things called kids. Both of us are almost fanatically dedicated to being the best parent we can. During the time we have our kids, they are our complete focus. We did sync up our schedules so that we have our kids on the same weekends so that we at least have the ability to spend time with each other. So only half of our available weekends are available. We both also have these annoying things called jobs. We can't just take off tons of time. So our visits are mostly going to be Friday after work until Sunday late fights. It's about a 3 hour flight. Both of us are down with it.
Last night was her first night alone in her new place. A month ago was my own first night, so I know how exciting (and potentially terrifying) it can be. Just as I gave her a tour of my place via Skype, she gave me a tour of hers. It will be strange in two weeks to be there, having seen the tour last night, just as I'm sure it was for her. We made an evening of it. We each went to the store and bought ingredients to make similar dinners. We cooked together (partially clothed), talked, and laughed. I learned some of the foods she likes / dislikes and she learned the same of me. She had sent me a very nice chopping board as a housewarming gift. I didn't get a chance to send her a gift yet, but I think I'll just show up at her place and get naked. I think that's probably at least as welcome as a chopping block after 25 years of her SM. We even set up our laptops on our nightstands and had a 9 hour Skype "call", occasionally waking up to see the other one sleeping on the screen.
But as you may have noticed from the T-Minus countdown, the following week, Operation Run Amuck continues. Every year, my ex-wife's family rents a beach house. It is a HUGE event. There are almost 30 of us who go. I really will miss it. I could be friends with every single member of my ex-wife's family regardless of being married or not, but when I divorced her, I also divorced events such as this. The extra pain point is that my ex had to switch weekends with me to make this work for her. The kids love it, so I had no choice really, but the last thing I want to do is sit at home thinking about how much fun they are having that weekend.
Enter Phase II of Operation Run Amuck. This is a purely solo endeavor. Using the same airline miles, I am currently planning on flying to Chicago. It is where I grew up, and I haven't been home in 14 years. I have cousins I haven't seen in years, and other cousins who were not born then, but are now in high school. A visit is overdue. I will try to catch a Cubbies game (life long fan). I will sure as FUCK get some Giordono's stuffed pizza (screw my diet that weekend). I also plan on trying an experiment. I want to try couch surfing:
www.couchsurfing.comIf you are not familiar with couch surfing, people basically open their homes to people who want to visit a particular city. Rather than staying at a hotel and living as a tourist, you stay in a local's home and live as a native. Every vacation I've gone on with my ex-wife has been as a tourist. Living as a tourist is not really living. Couch surfing is also free. So if I do this right, I will just need to rent a car and pay for things like Cubs tickets, museum fees, etc... I would NOT do things like couch surfing with the kids, of course. But for me? It sounds a bit like an adventure. I'm down for an adventure. If the experience is positive, I may open up my own home to others. People who are vagabonding are usually pretty damn interesting folks. I like interesting folks, and am a single guy living in a 3,800 square foot house...I've got the room.
Oh, and if you're looking for great airfare? I use
www.skyscanner.com. The reason I love this site is that it takes travel from a VERY unique perspective. I can enter in that I am leaving from Houston. But I can leave where and/or when I want to leave blank. Essentially I am telling it that I want to "get the fuck out of town, want to do it cheap, and am not picky". If I have a destination in mind, I can enter it and it will let me know the cheapest dates to go. If I have dates in mind, but not a destination, I can do the same. Especially if you're traveling alone? It's an amazing tool. Try it. It's fun.
So, you might wonder how long I can keep this up? Well, right now I've got about 6 airline tickets. My lady is also getting rewards cards to help with her credit and help with her visits. Once the school year starts back up, I'm sure kid's activities (i.e. baseball tournaments) will put a kink in my calendar. It isn't really a kink, because I honestly don't want to be anywhere else, but you get the point.
However, once I run out of tickets from these two cards, I will simply get another credit card reward program. My dad (retired) does this all the time. Get a card, get the miles, use the miles, call to cancel (to avoid the annual fee), get another card. A year or two later, you can re-apply for the original card. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Operation Run Amuck is gonna be fun, I think.
