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Post by nancyb on May 10, 2017 22:37:57 GMT -5
I am packing my boxes in preparation for my upcoming move. 3 weeks tonight I will be sleeping in my new home. I'm both excited and nervous.
Packing up has been difficult because there are so many memories attached to every nook and cranny of both this home and my 29 year marriage. It's been a process that has taken us almost one full year to disentangle our lives and to reach a point where we can smile and acknowledge that we had a good run together.
With eyes, feet, and heart facing forward it's into the unknown world of my new future.
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Post by TMD on May 10, 2017 22:47:13 GMT -5
Excited for you! Wishing you many wonderful new adventures!
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Post by baza on May 11, 2017 1:03:07 GMT -5
Just a reminder for you Sister nancyb Your initial post is copied here - (from November 21st 2016) "I am happy to have finally found this site. I have married for 28 years...limited sex in the first 14 and no sexual intimacy in the last 14 year. There have been cuddles and hugs but no tongue kissing or intercourse. My husband has completely denied there is any problem. He just kept saying he has a low libido and now he is saying that he has been unable to be sexually intimate with me because of an infidelity on my part 20 years ago. This is a new excuse that has appeared because I am starting to question whether he is latently gay and doesn't know it. He refuses to either discuss it or see anyone about it. My self esteem is in the toilet and as much as I know in my head it's not my problem it sure feels like this is my fault somehow. Why have I stayed? Plain and simple I love him but I just can't contain myself anymore. In the past I was a sexually adventurous woman. Now I am approaching 55 and I wonder how this could have happened. I feel shameful about this and haven't even discussed it with my therapist. Everyone from the outside thought we had the perfect marriage. Nothing could be farther from the truth."
What a difference some difficult choices and a few months make. Well done. |
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Post by dinnaken on May 11, 2017 1:15:20 GMT -5
This is wonderful news nancyb. Well done, I'm sure it's been a lot of hard work.
I'm excited for you
All the very best for your future
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Post by shamwow on May 11, 2017 6:00:09 GMT -5
Hey Nancy, totally get you. Our house goes on the market in a week. Right now my life consists of work, kids activities, fixing things, grueling yard work, and packing.
When I finally get to sleep, it is on a cheap air mattress jammed into the middle of a room along with the other "furniture" so the painters can do their job properly.
But like you, I can smell and taste freedom. Like you, though, it is bittersweet. Splitting up and packing a lifetime of memories is not a simple task. It is emotionally draining, as a matter of fact.
As I pack some boxes, I wonder what the hell I'm doing. Did I make the right decision. But then I remember why I am doing this. That if I don't nothing will change, and I cannot live that way any longer.
So I pull out a fresh roll of tape, pack a box, and write Sham's house on it. I've still got 6 weeks until my big day,and the final move-in date is dependent on when we close on the house.
But I get you, sister. Oh yeah, I get you.
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Post by bballgirl on May 11, 2017 8:38:08 GMT -5
So happy for you with your new beginning!
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Post by WindSister on May 11, 2017 8:58:16 GMT -5
Sending you loads of good thoughts as you start out on this new chapter in your life. There will be moments of doubt, sadness, grief, etc., but with all that hope will also be present. Take care of yourself and have fun along the way.
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Post by GeekGoddess on May 11, 2017 8:59:16 GMT -5
Amazing work, nancyb - there is a lot of bittersweet at the moving time. But I love your forward-looking emphasis and with that attitude, and your sense of adventure, I get the feeling that you really will love the freedom this move brings you. Onward and upward, sister! |
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2017 15:45:49 GMT -5
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Post by itsjustus on May 19, 2017 1:20:42 GMT -5
Just a reminder for you Sister nancyb Your initial post is copied here - (from November 21st 2016) "I am happy to have finally found this site. I have married for 28 years...limited sex in the first 14 and no sexual intimacy in the last 14 year. There have been cuddles and hugs but no tongue kissing or intercourse. My husband has completely denied there is any problem. He just kept saying he has a low libido and now he is saying that he has been unable to be sexually intimate with me because of an infidelity on my part 20 years ago. This is a new excuse that has appeared because I am starting to question whether he is latently gay and doesn't know it. He refuses to either discuss it or see anyone about it. My self esteem is in the toilet and as much as I know in my head it's not my problem it sure feels like this is my fault somehow. Why have I stayed? Plain and simple I love him but I just can't contain myself anymore. In the past I was a sexually adventurous woman. Now I am approaching 55 and I wonder how this could have happened. I feel shameful about this and haven't even discussed it with my therapist. Everyone from the outside thought we had the perfect marriage. Nothing could be farther from the truth."
What a difference some difficult choices and a few months make. Well done. I've seen baza do this before and I'd love it to become a tradition! Re-posting the first post of those who come here, so desperate, so confused, and so looking for that elusive answer of how to deal with their SM situation while still loving their spouse. (or not sure if they even still do). Some so desperate sounding, so broken, it breaks my heart. They come grasping for answers and looking for some kind of comfort in just knowing that there are others feeling the same way, others who just "know" and are willing to listen. Not all of them end up leaving like Sister nancyb, nor should they. It's up to each person to find their way, find their own solution and peace. Make their own choice. But for those who do find it, however they find it, having the bookends of their first post and their "victory" post on the same page I think can be inspiring. Well done, Baz. And well done Nancyb!! This was a very hard decision, and choice. Marching forward is difficult and can be nerve wracking. But it's exciting too! It's supposed to be. You get to re-invent...you! I did it at 57. I'm 61 now. I feel better than in my whole life! Jump on in! The waters fine!! |
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Post by nancyb on May 19, 2017 5:55:57 GMT -5
Less than 2 weeks now. Packing continues. I had a moment of panic yesterday when it really dawned on me that ex would only be of limited emotional support now . I realized that he has been absent for most of these 14 sexless years so Ive been alone anyway. So there is really nothing to be scared about....Nope still scared shitless. LOL
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Post by dinnaken on May 19, 2017 11:15:47 GMT -5
Hi NancyB,
You'll be fine and you know it in your heart. Remember - worries become concerns and so on down the line.
For some time now you have been moving to this point where you become sole mistress of your own destiny and soon it will all come to fruition.
We all follow the policy of 'one foot in front of another'and very soon one of those steps will carry you across the threshold of your new home to begin your new life.
Scared shitless, for sure, but excited as well.
I'm a few weeks behind you so I'd love to hear how it goes; please keep us posted.
Best wishes
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Post by shamwow on May 19, 2017 15:50:33 GMT -5
nancyb and dinnakenI'm also a few weeks behind you guys. It's almost like we are the graduating class of 2017  House went on the market this morning. Within 3 hours first offer. A few grand short of asking, so we countered back with full price. 3 more showings for today. I hope the first counter offer is accepted. If so, they will be able to move in faster. Then it's up to my wife and her plans. Depending on what her desires are, we could be out of there in less than 2 weeks, 6 weeks, or 10 weeks.
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Post by merrygoround on May 19, 2017 16:23:26 GMT -5
Guys, keep us posted - rooting for you! X
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Post by dinnaken on May 19, 2017 16:32:10 GMT -5
Hi shamwowAbsolutely, graduating from a rough school but on our way out and able to look the world square in the face. I'm pleased to hear that your house sale has made such a promising start; I hope it all goes according to plan. My wife and I are stuck behind a lawyer who is desperately slow, so we're a bit impatient with the pace of progress but the end is in sight. All the best |
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