Post by doneanddone on May 5, 2017 13:46:59 GMT -5
So one of the reasons she says she stopped having sex was because she was afraid of accidentally getting pregnant. So my question to the fellas is has the thought of a vasectomy or the conversation of having it done ever come up and if so did you do it with positive results or did you do it and no change? Obviously, you would have come to the conclusion of getting it done for other reasons that just to have sex and not get wife, girlfriend, lover, fiance.....pregnant so I'm just curious as to those who have had it done what the outcome was for the sexless issues if that was an excuse or reason your refuser withheld sex with you......
Well instead of starting a whole new thread i figured the best way to vent is to go to one of my own and just type out the frustrations.
Like some I am in my head quite a bit and this week is no exception. Work has been hell so far and even though today is Thursday that doesn't make it better. Had an awful last few days and while today is looking to be ending on a promising note going into Friday, i just felt like something wasn't right and needed to come here and let my fingers do the typing and my thoughts flow like crazy.
Still no sex since....i don't know when and don't care to waste the time to try and remember when it was last. I just am getting more and more frustrated with the situation every day when i get home and have to fake it with my wife that everything is alright. I hate the same dull boring routine. I have tried to mix it up. I've tried to change what I do when I get home but the fact of the matter is, it's just the same old boring fucking life I've been living for the past several years with no real hope or light at the end of the tunnel. The last conversation we had about sex ended up shifting over to how society has changed the way sex is viewed and social media is the root of all the problems of the world. But I was able to squeeze into that conversation which was about 2 weeks ago now with no change in attitude, that I had scheduled a consultation with a Urologist to talk about a vasectomy. So I called my PHC and asked for a consult, he sent it to me via online, I called and bam....got an appointment to talk to a Urologist about possibly getting the snip snip next week. I sent a text to my wife letting her know what I did......nothing. Didn't even phase her. All she said was "As long as you are good, I'm good". What the fuck.
*********************************UPDATE***************************************
Just a quick update on this post i started a few weeks back. Went to my consultation appointment and locked in the date. Next week i get the snip snip. I'm pretty psyched about it actually. I know some out there are probably thinking this guy is crazy for getting this done but I know in my heart of hearts that I personally do not want to have anymore children. My wife who is the refuser in our SM and can't understand why I see her as the refuser but none the less, agrees that she does not want to have anymore children but that is no longer up to her to decide because I've made that decision for the both of us just as she did for us not having sex. This will be the definitively determining factor of whether or not I choose to stay or go. There will be a grace period after the procedure I'll have to wait before sex without a condom is OK but i can be working on next steps during that time, usually like 3-5 weeks but hey I've already gone this long so whats a few more added weeks of no sex that I already don't get right....? I'm literally holding her to her word that if her biggest reason for not wanting to have sex is fear of getting pregnant then I will have that box checked and off the table for discussion and it should be game on. If not, she'll have a very difficult time explaining or even attempting to theorize or conjure up another justifiable, rational reason. To which she will have at that time lost all credibility and respect with me. I'm excited to begin this process and start moving in a direction of resolution. This might be the most dramatic first step in anyone's process but it fits for me and I'm looking forward to it. Oh and if you are wondering what if later on down the road another relationship happens and they want children? For me, if that was to happen, that would be first and foremost discussion and that is children are off the table to which that relationship would either work or not. I'll be updating this particular post as time moves on but for now wish me luck...... I've heard a bag of frozen peas works best for post procedure and I'm gonna stop on the way home today and pick some up, i just hope she doesn't get the craving for frozen peas and cooks them before my procedure......
*********************************UPDATE #2 ***************************************
Just a quick update. Got the procedure done last Friday and back to work on Monday. Things have been pretty easy thus far. Still quite tender and sore but no real visible swelling or complications. I am bruised up like I just went 12 rounds with Julio Cesar Chavez. That's where the tenderness is coming from. Feels like someone is squeezing my balls all the time. But I do have some good meds to combat the pain if it gets too intense. Hopefully things will return to normal in a week or so. Until then, I'll be icing my bag every night and making sure not to go jogging for awhile.....
Well instead of starting a whole new thread i figured the best way to vent is to go to one of my own and just type out the frustrations.
Like some I am in my head quite a bit and this week is no exception. Work has been hell so far and even though today is Thursday that doesn't make it better. Had an awful last few days and while today is looking to be ending on a promising note going into Friday, i just felt like something wasn't right and needed to come here and let my fingers do the typing and my thoughts flow like crazy.
Still no sex since....i don't know when and don't care to waste the time to try and remember when it was last. I just am getting more and more frustrated with the situation every day when i get home and have to fake it with my wife that everything is alright. I hate the same dull boring routine. I have tried to mix it up. I've tried to change what I do when I get home but the fact of the matter is, it's just the same old boring fucking life I've been living for the past several years with no real hope or light at the end of the tunnel. The last conversation we had about sex ended up shifting over to how society has changed the way sex is viewed and social media is the root of all the problems of the world. But I was able to squeeze into that conversation which was about 2 weeks ago now with no change in attitude, that I had scheduled a consultation with a Urologist to talk about a vasectomy. So I called my PHC and asked for a consult, he sent it to me via online, I called and bam....got an appointment to talk to a Urologist about possibly getting the snip snip next week. I sent a text to my wife letting her know what I did......nothing. Didn't even phase her. All she said was "As long as you are good, I'm good". What the fuck.
*********************************UPDATE***************************************
Just a quick update on this post i started a few weeks back. Went to my consultation appointment and locked in the date. Next week i get the snip snip. I'm pretty psyched about it actually. I know some out there are probably thinking this guy is crazy for getting this done but I know in my heart of hearts that I personally do not want to have anymore children. My wife who is the refuser in our SM and can't understand why I see her as the refuser but none the less, agrees that she does not want to have anymore children but that is no longer up to her to decide because I've made that decision for the both of us just as she did for us not having sex. This will be the definitively determining factor of whether or not I choose to stay or go. There will be a grace period after the procedure I'll have to wait before sex without a condom is OK but i can be working on next steps during that time, usually like 3-5 weeks but hey I've already gone this long so whats a few more added weeks of no sex that I already don't get right....? I'm literally holding her to her word that if her biggest reason for not wanting to have sex is fear of getting pregnant then I will have that box checked and off the table for discussion and it should be game on. If not, she'll have a very difficult time explaining or even attempting to theorize or conjure up another justifiable, rational reason. To which she will have at that time lost all credibility and respect with me. I'm excited to begin this process and start moving in a direction of resolution. This might be the most dramatic first step in anyone's process but it fits for me and I'm looking forward to it. Oh and if you are wondering what if later on down the road another relationship happens and they want children? For me, if that was to happen, that would be first and foremost discussion and that is children are off the table to which that relationship would either work or not. I'll be updating this particular post as time moves on but for now wish me luck...... I've heard a bag of frozen peas works best for post procedure and I'm gonna stop on the way home today and pick some up, i just hope she doesn't get the craving for frozen peas and cooks them before my procedure......
*********************************UPDATE #2 ***************************************
Just a quick update. Got the procedure done last Friday and back to work on Monday. Things have been pretty easy thus far. Still quite tender and sore but no real visible swelling or complications. I am bruised up like I just went 12 rounds with Julio Cesar Chavez. That's where the tenderness is coming from. Feels like someone is squeezing my balls all the time. But I do have some good meds to combat the pain if it gets too intense. Hopefully things will return to normal in a week or so. Until then, I'll be icing my bag every night and making sure not to go jogging for awhile.....
...but you know what I mean. I personally am suspicious of her claim though. Most people that want sex simply use contraceptives and have sex. So I'm not sure I'm buying it.
