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Post by brian on May 6, 2017 16:27:35 GMT -5
Scheduled for July 14th... calendar marked. I don't expect any change in my house mate though.
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Post by doneanddone on May 8, 2017 9:26:50 GMT -5
Usually I would say this would be choice a husband and wife would make but if your wife is using this as an excuse then I say this becomes your choice. Your age, if you even have an inkling you may want kids don't ... if you asking the question here you already know deep down this is just any other excuse your wife uses It basically has become my choice. Although we have discussed it in detail and the reasoning why I want to get it done I am leaning on the side of there won't be much improvement to the SM. And I have already stated clearly, I personally do not want another child. I have a daughter and like most if not all parents, my child is everything to me. Not wanting another child is something that is important to me moving forward whether is be in my SM or not. Anymore these days, financially, it is getting more and more difficult for families with multiple children. I have friends who are really struggling with two and three kids. And these are very well educated, well off people with great careers and important jobs withing their respective areas of expertise. They just are ruined by the financial burden of daycare, insurance, daily needs of food and clothing for not just their children but them as well. Then they have to have the proper safety car seats and a vehicle with enough space to accommodate them all so the list just goes on and on, large enough house..... That may not be a good excuse to not want more children but I also see the families who are split up or divorced with multiple children. That's another financial burden on the party that has to pay child support. So do I want any more children. No I don't. So my motivation is two fold. One, I am hoping that the excuse my wife gives of not wanting to get pregnant again is true and once the procedure is done we can return to something of a more routine sex life. And two, if that isn't the case and the SM continues, I am now in a position to where if I chose to outsource either up front with her knowing or not knowing, I would not have to worry about any accidents that would completely turn life upside down. And a third, if things don't work out with our marriage, I would make it absolutely crystal clear with any new relationship that I would be sterile, and children for me are not off the table but I wouldn't be fathering any. |
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Post by doneanddone on May 8, 2017 9:30:20 GMT -5
Scheduled for July 14th... calendar marked. I don't expect any change in my house mate though. Yeah, I'm leaning that way as well. Although it's going to be interesting to see how she responds to her own fears of not wanting to get pregnant knowing that I won't be the one with live rounds. |
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Post by Apocrypha on May 8, 2017 9:54:31 GMT -5
So one of the reasons she says she stopped having sex was because she was afraid of accidentally getting pregnant. So my question to the fellas is has the thought of a vasectomy or the conversation of having it done ever come up and if so did you do it with positive results or did you do it and no change? Obviously, you would have come to the conclusion of getting it done for other reasons that just to have sex and not get wife, girlfriend, lover, fiance.....pregnant so I'm just curious as to those who have had it done what the outcome was for the sexless issues if that was an excuse or reason your refuser withheld sex with you...... Yes, it was one of the reasons Mrs. Apocrypha refused sex with me. She was depressed and wanted to remove The Pill as one of the meds she had to take. After our second child, we were on shaky ground (really, it was shaky when we had the first), so I thought things through. I was all in with removing any impediment to her feeling comfortable, reasonably sure I didn't want any more kids, and I agreed to the procedure. Sex did not return to my life with her after that, when she stopped taking the pill. It was just one of hundreds of intermingled excuses or reasons for not having sex. Plus, she ended up having risker sex with others, after. Not so "anti-sex" after all. |
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Post by doneanddone on May 8, 2017 10:43:14 GMT -5
So one of the reasons she says she stopped having sex was because she was afraid of accidentally getting pregnant. So my question to the fellas is has the thought of a vasectomy or the conversation of having it done ever come up and if so did you do it with positive results or did you do it and no change? Obviously, you would have come to the conclusion of getting it done for other reasons that just to have sex and not get wife, girlfriend, lover, fiance.....pregnant so I'm just curious as to those who have had it done what the outcome was for the sexless issues if that was an excuse or reason your refuser withheld sex with you...... Yes, it was one of the reasons Mrs. Apocrypha refused sex with me. She was depressed and wanted to remove The Pill as one of the meds she had to take. After our second child, we were on shaky ground (really, it was shaky when we had the first), so I thought things through. I was all in with removing any impediment to her feeling comfortable, reasonably sure I didn't want any more kids, and I agreed to the procedure. Sex did not return to my life with her after that, when she stopped taking the pill. It was just one of hundreds of intermingled excuses or reasons for not having sex. Plus, she ended up having risker sex with others, after. Not so "anti-sex" after all. My wife doesn't do the pill or any other form of birth control. She is extremely and i mean extremely concerned with her appearance and weight. She says she feels like a blob all the time and has no energy. What i am learning about myself through this whole process is how much of a low self esteem I have of myself for allowing this to continue for as long as it has without addressing the problem. Her concerns about herself and any issues she has with herself in regards to sex are hers to deal with. If she says she feels lazy or fat and i try to comfort her she blows me off and says 'You have to say that, your my husband'. Also, I am beginning to see that she is lazy but if I say something that agrees with her that will just cause a massive blowout argument. Shit is just getting ridiculous. |
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2017 12:38:12 GMT -5
doneanddoneGet the snip. But find a relative to stay with after you have it done. You will be very sore. But since you know that you don't want any more kids, it is best.
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Post by doneanddone on May 8, 2017 15:58:49 GMT -5
doneanddone Get the snip. But find a relative to stay with after you have it done. You will be very sore. But since you know that you don't want any more kids, it is best. thanks. I've already posted this but it is a decision that is two....not three fold. 1. Know in my heart of hearts, I don't want any more kids. The one I have is perfect and don't want to share her with anyone or anything. 2. When I get this done, I'll know if the wife was truthful about the not wanting to get pregnant excuse. Either we re-ignite the bed on fire or she's a fucking douche-bag liar. 3. If outsourcing is the way to go or another relationship altogether, that is up front laid out on the table that I am snipped. |
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