Post by McRoomMate on Jun 9, 2017 17:45:39 GMT -5
It is like saying "the number one cause of auto accidents is loss of control of the vehicle". No duh: if the driver had full control of the vehicle, wouldn't he/she have avoided the accident?
There was SOMETHING that lead to the infidelity, no? Sexual incompatibility... the experience of philandering parents... antisocial behaviors (violence, drug use, gambling) that drove one spouse in to the arms of someone else... and so on.
This is akin to my disdain for the term "homewrecker", a woman who has an affair with a married man that leads to a divorce. Wasn't the home probably already wrecked if he went off the reservation? Could be the husband's shortcomings or the wife's... but I don't see how the blame can be pinned squarely on the "other woman".
@dan to be honest, before joining ILIASM, my analysis STOPPED at the perceived cause . . . the "homewrecker" as you put it.
Now after hours on this ILIASM Forum, an affair is a "SYMPTOM" it is the result, it is the effect, the cause is as you put it - something not working in the marriage. Who is "right" and who is "wrong"? Oh we can debate that too, but for all of us here, me for sure, the focus is on the WHY.
