Still not really recovered from my ex

My first thought was my ex and I have pets together too, but that would be really insulting to my kids. I am fortunate, as we will be parents together forever, that we get along better now than when we were keeping up appearances. I'll be driving a snow plow in hell before my ex would even consider touching me again, so I found your post very interesting. I was of the same mind as you for quite a while when we were still in the marriage though. There were many days when after she had gone to her room and I to mine that I would lie awake and listen for a footstep on the ceiling above, or the creak of the stair thinking maybe, just maybe she would open the bedroom door and slip in beside me. And in case you're wondering, yes I did attempt that once. I got slapped and asked what the hell was I doing? Once she stopped faking any kind of interest, she slammed the door literally and figuratively.

It's guys like your ex that I still scratch my head over. And I can only imagine what it does to you. But I have an idea too. I know what it is to feel unwanted, and know there will never be an answer. My struggle is not wanting her, but to remember there's nothing wrong with me. I miss some things we had too. But then I also wonder just what we did we have, if it could be turned off like a faucet. Be strong Kat. I want to have lots of company when I finally get to the success story group.

I'm sorry. I'm sure that must be really hard. I'm still inside my personal level of hell but I'm very familiar with the confusion

I often find myself wondering "am I just STUPID to still feel like this?"

In some ways that sounds really good. In other ways it just sucks - what was the point in spending all that time being married when your relationship as non-married friends is not much different?

Maybe I'll have to start dating again soon. [sigh]

Do you feel ready, Kat? It hasn't been that long since you split has it? It will hurt for some time. Losing a marriage or relationship is a tremendous loss, but just do what you feel is right for you.

I'm sorry Kat - it has to be hard to still really like him and know he's still just not right for you. In some ways, the fact that my STBX is being such an ass makes it easier for me to separate myself.

Do you feel ready to date? Is there anything holding you back?

I think you're pretty normal here and I don't think it has to do with being lazy. Dating can be a pain in the butt and frankly, it's scary as hell. God knows, all of us are more than a little sensitive to rejection and the idea of dating and being rejected is almost enough to make me crawl into my closet and never come out.

So, I'm not going to say be grateful for the good stuff - you already know all that. I'm just going to sympathize with not being crazy about dating. And nervous about dating. I'm not sure I can handle anything that has the faintest whiff of rejection - ever. Which makes the whole dating thing, well, terrifying. Sigh - where is that fairy godmother when you need her?