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Post by bballgirl on May 1, 2016 11:48:47 GMT -5
I think you're pretty normal here and I don't think it has to do with being lazy. Dating can be a pain in the butt and frankly, it's scary as hell. God knows, all of us are more than a little sensitive to rejection and the idea of dating and being rejected is almost enough to make me crawl into my closet and never come out. So, I'm not going to say be grateful for the good stuff - you already know all that. I'm just going to sympathize with not being crazy about dating. And nervous about dating. I'm not sure I can handle anything that has the faintest whiff of rejection - ever. Which makes the whole dating thing, well, terrifying. Sigh - where is that fairy godmother when you need her? I get what you say about the rejection thing. My first date ever since the divorce, the man messaged me and said he wasn't right for me. I think you have to go into a date with zero expectation to help keep your emotions in check. I also think that the level of rejection I endured from my ex has given me some pretty thick skin and there's not any man that can make me feel worse. If I'm not his type better to find out sooner than later. To some degree I feel like eventually most men get tired of the same woman like watching a movie over and over, eventually they never want to watch that movie again. That's just my own mindfuck not what I think most men really believe but I think it's my own way that I put walls up and keep my expectations low. Very sad. |
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Post by bballgirl on May 1, 2016 11:53:56 GMT -5
I just dread the thought of dating. I didn't really like dating when I was single, before he and I got together. You meet a lot of people who don't work out, for one reason or the other. I think I'm just being lazy and complaining - wishing the right person would magically appear, instead of me having to go through the dating and do the work. I think this is the part where somebody (no guessing who!) is supposed to tell me to be grateful for all the good things I do have, and to get off my lazy butt and get to work, ha ha! You should give it a try. Start with an online site. EP trolls gave us some prep all these years and you can tell which men are serious and which ones just want to play. Honestly on a first date I go somewhere public and all they know is my first name I don't even tell them what I teach. So there is still anonimity and if it doesn't work out then it's like we never met. |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2016 19:11:56 GMT -5
LOL, you are right that the EP trolls were good practice!
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2016 21:02:03 GMT -5
To some degree I feel like eventually most men get tired of the same woman like watching a movie over and over, eventually they never want to watch that movie again. That's just my own mindfuck not what I think most men really believe but I think it's my own way that I put walls up and keep my expectations low. Very sad. I think you are right. There are many men who get tired of the same woman. Men like variety, and that is probably why. |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2016 21:19:11 GMT -5
@smartkat I may prefer a root canal to dating. I really can't be bothered with it. And those dating sites where I have to put up pictures, and a profile, make me feel like some kind of exhibit for men to peruse – and approve or disapprove of the goods.
It feels demeaning to me, but that's me. I know a couple of women who actually married men they met on dating site, so I suppose some get lucky.
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Post by wewbwb on May 2, 2016 7:40:32 GMT -5
I just dread the thought of dating. I didn't really like dating when I was single, before he and I got together. You meet a lot of people who don't work out, for one reason or the other. I think I'm just being lazy and complaining - wishing the right person would magically appear, instead of me having to go through the dating and do the work. I think this is the part where somebody (no guessing who!) is supposed to tell me to be grateful for all the good things I do have, and to get off my lazy butt and get to work, ha ha! I think that is a part of why I got married and "settled" in the first place. We got along mostly and I felt it was better then being alone. I was wrong. Even now |
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Post by itsjustus on May 4, 2016 1:11:36 GMT -5
I think you are right. There are many men who get tired of the same woman. Men like variety, and that is probably why. *bbgirl and *mountainrunner. I'm glad you both used words like "most" men, and "many" men, because it implies not "all" men get tired of the same woman or are so shallow to think of women in terms of variety or the same movie, over and over. I can't speak for "most" or "many", but I can say that "this" one has a type of woman in mind. One that I find so deeply mysterious and intriguing, it would keep me busy for a lifetime exploring her. Not all men like variety. Some like the mystery of one woman. Maybe that's just me.... Lol.  |
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2016 5:11:19 GMT -5
*bbgirl and *mountainrunner. I'm glad you both used words like "most" men, and "many" men, because it implies not "all" men get tired of the same woman or are so shallow to think of women in terms of variety or the same movie, over and over. I can't speak for "most" or "many", but I can say that "this" one has a type of woman in mind. One that I find so deeply mysterious and intriguing, it would keep me busy for a lifetime exploring her. Not all men like variety. Some like the mystery of one woman. Maybe that's just me.... Lol. Of course you like the mystery of a woman...until she is no longer a mystery. This is why men are crazy about women early in the relationship. They don't know her. She's intriguing and a challenge to the male mind, but time wears on, and the more you get to know, the less intriguing she is. A refuser can be a mystery for years, and that's because they withhold a part of themselves for years or decades. They are always a challenge. They are like a puzzle to be solved, and they keep their spouses in the dark as to how, why, what, will solve this puzzle. |
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Post by itsjustus on May 7, 2016 18:31:18 GMT -5
Of course you like the mystery of a woman...until she is no longer a mystery. This is why men are crazy about women early in the relationship. They don't know her. She's intriguing and a challenge to the male mind, but time wears on, and the more you get to know, the less intriguing she is. A refuser can be a mystery for years, and that's because they withhold a part of themselves for years or decades. They are always a challenge. They are like a puzzle to be solved, and they keep their spouses in the dark as to how, why, what, will solve this puzzle. No, I'm not like that not at all. That's nothing like me. That's insulting to me. |
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