THE TALK (Drama Free) - Done Tonight

Here in America announcing "I wan't a divorce" can lead to extreme economic calamity. If you don't have an attorney to have the legal papers ready to deliver to them by a Sheriff the next morning, their is no telling what they can do with all your combined assets, and the children. Way better to be prepared, instead of backtracking. However it does show their selfish, controlling, behavior. But it's still legal without an attorney to get things frozen, and the advice of staying in the house and not taking the children out of state.

I totally believe this.

McRoomMate, it takes a long time to get the knack to stop engaging in a death spiral of dysfunction. I know that while my romantic interest in Mrs Apocrypha has been corrupted beyond recognition, I do still retain the hurt feelings around my life with her.  People have well trodden patterns in their dance. So, your question about whether she will be jealous or upset would reasonably be interpreted as you being invested in her answer, or even as you hoping she will be hurt. Don't chum the water.

You've removed the expectation of presenting as a married couple from the gameboard, so she's now expressing contempt through threatening your access to children and by literally mocking your interest in what she thinks. The theater in the kitchen with her work friend is likely part of this tableaux that goes beyond mere insouciance. 

You are going to date other people. So is she.
In fact, you both likely feel a screaming urgency to do so immediately, if not to somehow make this all worth it.
You are both likely to get on the divorce diet, hit the gym, change your hair and get with whatever programs you wish you'd done years ago, and likely your feelings will both be hurt by it.
Whomever you both date next will seem to the other like they are getting the better versions of you.
The "what if?" and "how will you feel?" questions are moot. You don't know how you will feel and neither does she. How could either of you?

All that matters now is how you will proceed and the level of care and respect with which you treat each other, and just as in marriage, you can only control your half of that. She will continue to be who she is. 

It's a tough period to be in the house together, even if it's simply a lame duck situation - much worse when there is true contempt.
Exercise caution and legal prudence. She seems highly motivated to humiliate you.

Thank-you again for all the comments.

Today I announced I would be moving out to an apartment. We are over in Europe and not even married here. Our assets are separate. Anyhow, she already has all the assets in her name. She is the one with all the money.

In terms of children, we already agreed I see them every 2 week-ends. I will probably drive one of them to school on a regular basis. I am moving out about 10 miles from our home. In all honesty, she has a much better relationship with our children than I do.

We also work at the same company and are on the management team. I talked about the divorce with the other executives and everyone is comfortable that we are separating. We have real business interests and are to a serious extent mutually dependent on each other in this business. So there is a "balance of power". She is very smart business wise and a very successful woman. if she were to attack me and try to destroy me, it would hurt the business. I am not worried because of this mutual balance of power in the business.

I think this will go pretty smooth frankly. I am comfortable with the above. I appreciate everyone's input.

Even if a Dooms Day scenario and she has some secret plan to destroy me - which I highly doubt because it would be against her interest - Whatever I may lose in this process is worth it. Such is the price of Freedom.

As a Mod British Singer was wailed "I will die with my hands untied."  So be it. But I am not worried. 

Ha! Voting Patterns in America. The scary part is that both parties are out to get our ass!

Thank you for keeping us updated!! This is so interesting, I honestly am in shock, I can't imagine your emotions. Dreamlike?

Although you say it was good talk all I saw was her laying the groundwork that is was all your fault and she will make sure your kids have limited access to the horrible person who destroyed the family. "Why can't I see dad"?
"HE left us because HE doesn't love US" -

the minute your out on your own and free l wouldn't let the blame or or access stand.