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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Mar 19, 2017 0:51:50 GMT -5
This is really kind of fascinating. Let us know what you ended up doing.
I honestly am really confused (as I am sure you are) how he could say almost nothing for days, then suddenly write you a love note? Does not compute.
I agree with the others on going but making it clear about your intentions of just being with him as a friend or as a place to discuss what is happening, not as lovers or a couple. But seriously, I wanna know what happened here... mind blown.
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Perplexed
Mar 19, 2017 16:41:53 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by cagedadventurer on Mar 19, 2017 16:41:53 GMT -5
I'm very sorry he is putting you through all of this confusion. He's resetting you in different ways so that his life doesn't change because he obviously had the marriage he wanted. He's probably also hoping your kindness will be a weakness so he can keep the status quo. It's ok to empathize for him because he will be sad, but that's just an emotion and emotions change. Focus on yourself and what you want for yourself. If you want to go on the date night then go, if you don't then don't. Hugs I think he is just trying to reset in many different ways - I've always been too nice to him - have been instrumental in perpetuating a lot of his behavior that I can no longer tolerate. I do see my role in this and also realize I tend to over think things. Your advice to just focus on what I want is something I think I needed to hear again - needed this reminder. Thank you! Xx |
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Post by cagedadventurer on Mar 19, 2017 16:51:20 GMT -5
Lyn, "kayaks and hiking gear!?" I wish my wife talked liked that!
Oh the fun you can have when matched with someone compatible.
W really trying to make attempt today- reset- but so many rejections I think my spirit is closing. Sounds like yours definitely has. After years of same mistreatment- semi torture of rejection, leaving is all that remains. I'd rip that band-aid now. I'd walk from every thing, car, boat, etc. if walking were an out today. Kids make it do difficult.
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Perplexed
Mar 19, 2017 17:10:59 GMT -5
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Post by novembercomingfire on Mar 19, 2017 17:10:59 GMT -5
Lyn, "kayaks and hiking gear!?" I wish my wife talked liked that! Oh the fun you can have when matched with someone compatible. W really trying to make attempt today- reset- but so many rejections I think my spirit is closing. Sounds like yours definitely has. After years of same mistreatment- semi torture of rejection, leaving is all that remains. I'd rip that band-aid now. I'd walk from every thing, car, boat, etc. if walking were an out today. Kids make it do difficult. Yep. My partner doesn't even like to go outside. |
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Post by lyn on Mar 22, 2017 21:26:30 GMT -5
This is really kind of fascinating. Let us know what you ended up doing. I honestly am really confused (as I am sure you are) how he could say almost nothing for days, then suddenly write you a love note? Does not compute. I agree with the others on going but making it clear about your intentions of just being with him as a friend or as a place to discuss what is happening, not as lovers or a couple. But seriously, I wanna know what happened here... mind blown. So...... I didn't end up going. He never asked why I didn't want to go, and I didn't tell him. I mean, why would we delve into personal feelings about anything? Lol As Groundhog Day seems to keep repeating itself with more, similar situations during this past week, I think it did push me just enough to where I've made contact with an attorney finally. Still need to schedule the consult but I've just promised myself to do this tomorrow. And yeah, mrslowmaintenance, he's an odd bird this one. Lots of love notes, hugs, but nothing more unless he fears I'm heading for the door. Sigh..... reset attempts are just being squashed now - the final nail is officially in the coffin. |
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Post by unmatched on Mar 22, 2017 22:45:22 GMT -5
This is really kind of fascinating. Let us know what you ended up doing. I honestly am really confused (as I am sure you are) how he could say almost nothing for days, then suddenly write you a love note? Does not compute. I agree with the others on going but making it clear about your intentions of just being with him as a friend or as a place to discuss what is happening, not as lovers or a couple. But seriously, I wanna know what happened here... mind blown. So...... I didn't end up going. He never asked why I didn't want to go, and I didn't tell him. I mean, why would we delve into personal feelings about anything? Lol As Groundhog Day seems to keep repeating itself with more, similar situations during this past week, I think it did push me just enough to where I've made contact with an attorney finally. Still need to schedule the consult but I've just promised myself to do this tomorrow. And yeah, mrslowmaintenance, he's an odd bird this one. Lots of love notes, hugs, but nothing more unless he fears I'm heading for the door. Sigh..... reset attempts are just being squashed now - the final nail is officially in the coffin. If he has gone back into avoider mode then at least your timetable doesn't need to get wrecked. Unless you want it to be  |
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