Would you have stayed?

Hmmmm,...It's really hard to answer that question. My X sees herself as an Alpha woman and often uses that term. During our courtship and the early years of the marriage I think she saw me as an Alpha male as I managed multi-million dollar construction projects and I brought home more money than her. But the company I worked for closed the doors following the bubble burst in the housing and construction industry and a Senior Manager like myself could not buy a job. There were literally a hundred applicants for any opening. When she became the only one employed I think she no longer saw me as an alpha male and stopped seeing me as an equal even thought I continued to pay half or more of any expense. The respect just seemed to go away. We were already in the early days of a SM and she became post menopausal so her libido disappeared for all intents and purposes. And I think she could not really love a man who didn't command her respect. I might have been able to deal with those prospects had she continued to be affectionate and engage sexually. But then again maybe not. Not having the opportunity to "beard that particular lion" it's really just conjecture.

PS...Thanks for giving me the opportunity to use the "beard the lion" analogy.

Even though my refuser was abusive, hateful and rude, I probably would have stayed. The lack of sex made everything else more intolerable. I am glad I moved out because now I see how incredibly selfish and spoiled she is.

Carol I know exactly how you feel. 

Ive decided mines a gonner. 

Ive been waiting for xmas new year and my little boys birthday (which was Wednesday) to come and go them I've been telling myself I'm getting rid of him. 

Now, he finally went for a testosterone check the week before last and is due to get his results tomorrow. With that spanning our sons birthday I've felt I have to wait for the results (my issues creep in about now!)

in reality, do I fuck have to wait for the results. My mind is absolutely made up. We are incompatible. 

Regardless of what this test says, I DO NOT WANT HIM ANYMORE. 

I am beyond wanting him. It's gone. 

He left it too late. 

So im still working up my courage. 

Im going to take a leaf out of some of the other members' here's books and write a letter to be read out. 

Now I just need to find some time where nobody wants a piece of me! 

Brilliant, flowerdust. 

Hmmm .... 2x a month .... that is 600% of what I am getting now. I wish I could say "sign me up," because that sounds like a huge improvement. I guess that 2x a month would have to be accompanied by her initiating at least one of those 2 times, because the hardest thing (for me) about being in a sexless marriage is feeling undesirable.

flowerdust, I agree with you about the missing endorphins. I realized last week that I am really missing them especially now with the lack of daylight in the northern tier of states. Without that supply of endorphins, even a sunny day (like today) feels gloomy.

 After I realized that our marriage was over, and there was to be zero physical contact ever again, if I ever received any signs that my STBX was interested in me in a sexual way, I have my responses ready. (not that I'll ever need them) I will tell her that "it is far to late, and that she has trained me well."