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Post by beachguy on Jan 27, 2017 17:31:30 GMT -5
This will so sound puritanical, but I wanted to sit in a chair and have her straddle me, facing me. She was incredibly reluctant (she has always expressed distaste at anything other than just laying there.....and one of her most telling lines is "Boobs are for babies".) Anyway she did the chair for maybe a minute and then she stopped, didn't like it - probably too intimate for her to deal with. About a week later we were having lunch with her brother at a park and she started joking about "that monkey thing" I "made (her) do." Yeah, HILARIOUS........fun picnic. That was probably 20 years ago.......and to this day when we visit BIL, he is likely to throw out some random joke about 'that monkey thing'. I gave up, too. It's the only way to try and preserve our sanity and start looking around for the fire exits. The bizarre thing is that she's so prudish she doesn't want her boobs touched, won't have sex outside of the bed, but she's telling the story to others?  Even her brother. That's all just so wrong. Someone needs to get some grant money to study her. |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Jan 27, 2017 17:34:57 GMT -5
I have never actually shared a fantasy with my hub. I did tell him about a dream I had of having sex in a glass elevator. It was a very erotic dream! Whenever we ride in one he will look at me with raised eyebrows and say "Hmmm, a dream about a glass elevator". I smile and look wistfully around and sigh dramatically. At least he can tease me about my kinky dreams.
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Post by Rhapsodee on Jan 27, 2017 17:50:50 GMT -5
This will so sound puritanical, but I wanted to sit in a chair and have her straddle me, facing me. She was incredibly reluctant (she has always expressed distaste at anything other than just laying there.....and one of her most telling lines is "Boobs are for babies".) Anyway she did the chair for maybe a minute and then she stopped, didn't like it - probably too intimate for her to deal with. About a week later we were having lunch with her brother at a park and she started joking about "that monkey thing" I "made (her) do." Yeah, HILARIOUS........fun picnic. That was probably 20 years ago.......and to this day when we visit BIL, he is likely to throw out some random joke about 'that monkey thing'. I gave up, too. It's the only way to try and preserve our sanity and start looking around for the fire exits. Holy cow! "Boobs are for babies"?!?! well maybe her "boobs" are. I have Breasts and they are for pleasure. Ridiculing you to her brother is despicable! It shows a total lack of sensitivity. No matter how I feel about my husband I would never ridicule him for his fantasies or desires. I would be thrilled he had some he wanted to do with me! |
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Post by kiltedpadre on Jan 27, 2017 18:31:57 GMT -5
My wife has pretty much a blanket no to anything that involves being anywhere other than the bed. The only exception is she agreed to playing in the shower after a discussion with our therapist. We did try, but the water goes from hot to ice cold far too quickly. Damn electric water heater! Just being nosy, what was it about the shower that, in her head, made it the only other place it was "ok" to "do it"? It was recommended by our therapist as a part of an "intimate touch" exercise. He mentioned that with past patients it can help with discomfort since the touch can start with washing each other and build from there. |
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Post by thebaffledking on Jan 27, 2017 19:01:49 GMT -5
This will so sound puritanical, but I wanted to sit in a chair and have her straddle me, facing me. She was incredibly reluctant (she has always expressed distaste at anything other than just laying there.....and one of her most telling lines is "Boobs are for babies".) Anyway she did the chair for maybe a minute and then she stopped, didn't like it - probably too intimate for her to deal with. About a week later we were having lunch with her brother at a park and she started joking about "that monkey thing" I "made (her) do." Yeah, HILARIOUS........fun picnic. That was probably 20 years ago.......and to this day when we visit BIL, he is likely to throw out some random joke about 'that monkey thing'. I gave up, too. It's the only way to try and preserve our sanity and start looking around for the fire exits. Holy cow! "Boobs are for babies"?!?! well maybe her "boobs" are. I have Breasts and they are for pleasure. Ridiculing you to her brother is despicable! It shows a total lack of sensitivity. No matter how I feel about my husband I would never ridicule him for his fantasies or desires. I would be thrilled he had some he wanted to do with me! Oh, that's NOTHING! This is probably TMI, but I don't care. I am what I am.  Around that same time, we were traveling back home and were at her mom's. By then, sex had really dwindled while I (and to this very day) could have used love and release a few times a day. So of course this mismatching of libidos while on a lengthy sojourn from home involved me taking care of myself now and then. Well, at her mom's house, I was stuck in this rec room to sleep on the floor and just grabbed a t-shirt in the dark to tidy up. Well, unbeknownst to me, her and her mom planned a wash for the next morning and while I was asleep, my wife came through and gathered up a bunch of my clothes......including the aforementioned t-shirt, which happened to be black. Well, SHE didn't notice what was on it, but her MOM did!!! I awoke to hear her saying something like, "(me) must have a horrible cold all night. He blew his nose all over this shirt. There's massive amounts!" Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....................well, I of course played along and said I needed to pick up a box of kleenex because my night time allergies were getting to me. Wife figured out what it was, though. AND ALSO SHARED THIS STORY WITH HER BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm pretty sure HE ended up spilling it to their mom like it's some huge joke (I mean, I see the humor in it, I guess).........I wanted to say to my MIL, "If your daughter wasn't so damn frigid, this would never happen!" So yeah....... "That monkey thing", and "massive amounts" are two phrases that have been bandied about as punchlines for years and years now.................sigh. |
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Post by beachguy on Jan 27, 2017 19:20:13 GMT -5
thebaffledking - that was an egregious violation of trust. And you have my permission to make it clear to her family that she was a frigid bitch.
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Post by thebaffledking on Jan 27, 2017 20:00:03 GMT -5
thebaffledking - that was an egregious violation of trust. And you have my permission to make it clear to her family that she was a frigid bitch. To her, sex and deep physical intimacy have always been 'funny' or 'weird' or 'overrated'.......I mean, she just has NEVER been able to get into it all. To her, sex is a joke. Something in her upbringing and probably her mother's views of intimacy, taught her that. Btw, her dad left her mom when she was in her teens........I wouldn't doubt if it was for the same issues I have faced. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 27, 2017 23:10:31 GMT -5
thebaffledking - that was an egregious violation of trust. And you have my permission to make it clear to her family that she was a frigid bitch. To her, sex and deep physical intimacy have always been 'funny' or 'weird' or 'overrated'.......I mean, she just has NEVER been able to get into it all. To her, sex is a joke. Something in her upbringing and probably her mother's views of intimacy, taught her that. Btw, her dad left her mom when she was in her teens........I wouldn't doubt if it was for the same issues I have faced. Goes back to that old saying, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Oh the deception, the manipulation. I wonder what I would have done 25 yrs ago if someone would have warned me? The question is, " what am I going to do now and with any future relationships?" |
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Post by lyn on Jan 27, 2017 23:37:21 GMT -5
Holy cow! "Boobs are for babies"?!?! well maybe her "boobs" are. I have Breasts and they are for pleasure. Ridiculing you to her brother is despicable! It shows a total lack of sensitivity. No matter how I feel about my husband I would never ridicule him for his fantasies or desires. I would be thrilled he had some he wanted to do with me! Oh, that's NOTHING! This is probably TMI, but I don't care. I am what I am. Around that same time, we were traveling back home and were at her mom's. By then, sex had really dwindled while I (and to this very day) could have used love and release a few times a day. So of course this mismatching of libidos while on a lengthy sojourn from home involved me taking care of myself now and then. Well, at her mom's house, I was stuck in this rec room to sleep on the floor and just grabbed a t-shirt in the dark to tidy up. Well, unbeknownst to me, her and her mom planned a wash for the next morning and while I was asleep, my wife came through and gathered up a bunch of my clothes......including the aforementioned t-shirt, which happened to be black. Well, SHE didn't notice what was on it, but her MOM did!!! I awoke to hear her saying something like, "(me) must have a horrible cold all night. He blew his nose all over this shirt. There's massive amounts!" Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....................well, I of course played along and said I needed to pick up a box of kleenex because my night time allergies were getting to me. Wife figured out what it was, though. AND ALSO SHARED THIS STORY WITH HER BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm pretty sure HE ended up spilling it to their mom like it's some huge joke (I mean, I see the humor in it, I guess).........I wanted to say to my MIL, "If your daughter wasn't so damn frigid, this would never happen!" So yeah....... "That monkey thing", and "massive amounts" are two phrases that have been bandied about as punchlines for years and years now.................sigh. No my dear, in no way is this ok. This is dehumanizing - how some people think it's okay, AND funny, to treat another human being this way, and someone they supposedly love, is just despicable. It's gross and unacceptable. I'm sorry she did this to you thebaffledking |
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Post by solodriver on Jan 27, 2017 23:45:35 GMT -5
I couldn't share a fantasy with my wife. She would think I'm perverted and need help for having a sexual fantasy. But man do I have some pretty exciting, erotic dreams! Maybe some day.
But, just for the fun of it, I might pose the question to her about sexual fantasies. Her response will just continue to confirm what I already know lol!
I guess it's like poking a stick at a wasp nest. I know I'm probably going to get stung. (That's NOT one of my fantasies lol)
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 28, 2017 3:52:07 GMT -5
Just being nosy, what was it about the shower that, in her head, made it the only other place it was "ok" to "do it"? It was recommended by our therapist as a part of an "intimate touch" exercise. He mentioned that with past patients it can help with discomfort since the touch can start with washing each other and build from there. But only because it was the Therapist's idea. Sorry about your boiler! And the water too  x |
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Post by thebaffledking on Jan 28, 2017 18:19:13 GMT -5
Oh, that's NOTHING! This is probably TMI, but I don't care. I am what I am. Around that same time, we were traveling back home and were at her mom's. By then, sex had really dwindled while I (and to this very day) could have used love and release a few times a day. So of course this mismatching of libidos while on a lengthy sojourn from home involved me taking care of myself now and then. Well, at her mom's house, I was stuck in this rec room to sleep on the floor and just grabbed a t-shirt in the dark to tidy up. Well, unbeknownst to me, her and her mom planned a wash for the next morning and while I was asleep, my wife came through and gathered up a bunch of my clothes......including the aforementioned t-shirt, which happened to be black. Well, SHE didn't notice what was on it, but her MOM did!!! I awoke to hear her saying something like, "(me) must have a horrible cold all night. He blew his nose all over this shirt. There's massive amounts!" Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....................well, I of course played along and said I needed to pick up a box of kleenex because my night time allergies were getting to me. Wife figured out what it was, though. AND ALSO SHARED THIS STORY WITH HER BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm pretty sure HE ended up spilling it to their mom like it's some huge joke (I mean, I see the humor in it, I guess).........I wanted to say to my MIL, "If your daughter wasn't so damn frigid, this would never happen!" So yeah....... "That monkey thing", and "massive amounts" are two phrases that have been bandied about as punchlines for years and years now.................sigh. No my dear, in no way is this ok. This is dehumanizing - how some people think it's okay, AND funny, to treat another human being this way, and someone they supposedly love, is just despicable. It's gross and unacceptable. I'm sorry she did this to you thebaffledking Keep in mind, this is a woman who re-set me and then immediately afterwards told me if I wanted sex going forward I had her permission to seek out a prostitute. I'm just not dealing with a full deck here. I don't know what her problem is........I just know it's not mine anymore. |
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Post by lyn on Jan 28, 2017 18:29:31 GMT -5
No thebaffledking, she's not playing with a full deck and I'm so glad that one day soon you will be able to start healing - start living - away from her. Your posts, with regard to how she has treated you, make me so angry - I can only imagine what you've gone through. You never deserved any of that. |
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Around that same time, we were traveling back home and were at her mom's. By then, sex had really dwindled while I (and to this very day) could have used love and release a few times a day. So of course this mismatching of libidos while on a lengthy sojourn from home involved me taking care of myself now and then. Well, at her mom's house, I was stuck in this rec room to sleep on the floor and just grabbed a t-shirt in the dark to tidy up. Well, unbeknownst to me, her and her mom planned a wash for the next morning and while I was asleep, my wife came through and gathered up a bunch of my clothes......including the aforementioned t-shirt, which happened to be black. Well, SHE didn't notice what was on it, but her MOM did!!! I awoke to hear her saying something like, "(me) must have a horrible cold all night. He blew his nose all over this shirt. There's massive amounts!" Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....................well, I of course played along and said I needed to pick up a box of kleenex because my night time allergies were getting to me. Wife figured out what it was, though. AND ALSO SHARED THIS STORY WITH HER BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm pretty sure HE ended up spilling it to their mom like it's some huge joke (I mean, I see the humor in it, I guess).........I wanted to say to my MIL, "If your daughter wasn't so damn frigid, this would never happen!" So yeah....... "That monkey thing", and "massive amounts" are two phrases that have been bandied about as punchlines for years and years now.................sigh.
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