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Post by McRoomMate on Jan 23, 2017 17:45:40 GMT -5
So it has been 11 months since sex and before 8 months and before that probably a year or more - so sexless marriage.
However, I had been giving routine periodic hugs and little kisses. The last one was New Years Eve - just a little kiss on the lips.
I decided I would stop even doing that - so she does not even reach out and try to kiss me or hug me even.
That is how pathetic my marriage is - "initiating" has been reduced to pathetic hugs and little grandma like kisses on the lips and now that is gone too.
Total is about 10 to 11 years of SM. There is just ZERO attraction and romance left in this marriage - Room mates with children.
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Post by baza on Jan 23, 2017 18:12:47 GMT -5
There is nothing, nothing at all, that marks a relationship of "room mates with children" as being inherently "wrong".
If such a set up is by mutual consent then I would imagine it could work out quite satisfactorily, for the adults.
The downside is what you are modelling for your kids - that marriage is "a room mate with kids" scenario - and that might not actually be doing the kids any favours longer term when they start looking for their own life partner.
And of course, if the "room mates with kids" is NOT a mutually agreed thing, but has rather been unilaterally foisted on to one of the spouses, then you have a complication multiplier in play as well.
And that spells trouble for EVERYONE involved.
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Post by solodriver on Jan 23, 2017 18:18:51 GMT -5
So it has been 11 months since sex and before 8 months and before that probably a year or more - so sexless marriage. However, I had been giving routine periodic hugs and little kisses. The last one was New Years Eve - just a little kiss on the lips. I decided I would stop even doing that - so she does not even reach out and try to kiss me or hug me even. That is how pathetic my marriage is - "initiating" has been reduced to pathetic hugs and little grandma like kisses on the lips and now that is gone too. Total is about 10 to 11 years of SM. There is just ZERO attraction and romance left in this marriage - Room mates with children. Same here brother, except no children and been going on for 16 years. I feel your pain. |
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Post by rejected101 on Jan 23, 2017 18:43:45 GMT -5
I feel guilty even being on this site sometimes as my worst ever year still involved having sex 8 times with my wife. I thought that was an absolutely pitiful effort from her. How have you guys survived on once a year? I give total credit to you. If hugs and kisses are now leaving the frame then you surely have to go asap. I wish you the best of luck either way.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 23, 2017 18:59:06 GMT -5
Your giving her to much credit. I remember when I had a roommate, more than one. We communicated! We talked about each others day, our girlfriends, who we were dating, who we liked, where we were going, we borrowed each others things, we went to church together,and I had a true confidant and a mentor to be there for me when I needed it. We also shared chores and responsibilities.
Even business partners share goals, dreams, desires, ambitions, boundaries, and suport each other with open communication, with trust and respect.
My marriage (like yours) became NCSOMP.
Non
Communicative
Sharing
Of
Material
Possessions.
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Post by shamwow on Jan 23, 2017 21:04:31 GMT -5
So it has been 11 months since sex and before 8 months and before that probably a year or more - so sexless marriage. However, I had been giving routine periodic hugs and little kisses. The last one was New Years Eve - just a little kiss on the lips. I decided I would stop even doing that - so she does not even reach out and try to kiss me or hug me even. That is how pathetic my marriage is - "initiating" has been reduced to pathetic hugs and little grandma like kisses on the lips and now that is gone too. Total is about 10 to 11 years of SM. There is just ZERO attraction and romance left in this marriage - Room mates with children. Just an FYI, I did almost the exact same thing. And you saw my post this morning... |
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Post by bballgirl on Jan 23, 2017 22:38:16 GMT -5
The last 13 years of my marriage was once a year at best and some years nothing. We were roommates with kids too. Focus on yourself and figure out what you want for your life to make it happy.
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Post by obobfla on Jan 23, 2017 22:51:21 GMT -5
I too have become a roommate with child, but sometimes I wonder which one is the child. My son is a typical 14-year-old, but I find myself getting after my wife more than my son. It's like I have two children, but one is never growing up.
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Post by solodriver on Jan 24, 2017 1:32:50 GMT -5
I too have become a roommate with child, but sometimes I wonder which one is the child. My son is a typical 14-year-old, but I find myself getting after my wife more than my son. It's like I have two children, but one is never growing up. "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid" lol |
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Post by McRoomMate on Jan 24, 2017 1:33:00 GMT -5
Such EXCELLENT posts thank everyone sincerely.
Of course - and yes I sound like a broken record - Apparently neither of us bother to "Initiate" - I cannot BELIEVE she is happy like this - I think she is miserable too emotionally - my wife is actually quite beautiful and independently successful. I asked her Sunday if I brought any joy to her life and she just gave me a slightly miserable yet mean look.
She laughs and jokes with the whole world - her friends our children - but with me - she becomes sour puss and bitter quite often - all too often.
Oy vey ! ! !
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Post by solodriver on Jan 24, 2017 1:35:33 GMT -5
I too have become a roommate with child, but sometimes I wonder which one is the child. My son is a typical 14-year-old, but I find myself getting after my wife more than my son. It's like I have two children, but one is never growing up. "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid" lol One day I hope to be in an adult-adult (very adult lol) relationship instead of a adult-child relationship!
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Post by beachguy on Jan 24, 2017 2:48:03 GMT -5
I asked her Sunday if I brought any joy to her life and she just gave me a slightly miserable yet mean look. Suggested followup question: "OK, you're obviously very unhappy with your life with me. Why do you stay?" |
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Post by wom360 on Jan 24, 2017 10:09:31 GMT -5
What are your relative incomes? That is, who makes more?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2017 12:36:12 GMT -5
Sorry to hear your story. It is all too familiar.
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Post by johnwyo1 on Jan 24, 2017 12:51:22 GMT -5
I'm pretty much there with the original post, nothing going on between my wife and I except weak kisses and hugs. I stopped initiating even those exce8when she asks. Because of humiliating comments and anger the last time I tried initiating sex, I gave up on that. And because I'm the only one giving kisses or hugs, I'm quitting initiating those. If I'm condemned to a one sided effort, I'll choose to just do for myself alone. Outside of affection and sex, she's the same...all for her. So, we're living the roommates thing, too.
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