Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2017 18:06:56 GMT -5
Just had to throw this out there.
My refuser recently said that she had been completely faithful for 28 years. I asked her if she really thought that, after cutting me off for 6 years, and telling me that my penis just didn't work anymore. She looked me right in the eye and said yes, even with that, she had been completely faithful.
I am still floored by that statement.
And yes, I called her a REFUSER. After 6 years of no sex, she is NOT a wife. A wife wants to have sex with her husband and a husband wants to have sex with his wife. If for some reason he/she can't a wife or husband takes steps to remedy the problem. And a husband or wife would NEVER add insult to injury. Actually, I prefer the term REFUSING CHEATER.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Jan 20, 2017 18:15:43 GMT -5
We appear to be talking semantics here. So, your missus claim of "being faithful" has some validity in the sense that she has been "faithful to herself". That is to say, she has followed her personal moral compass (to avoid sex with you) quite faithfully. But, let's agree with your summation that your missus is "a REFUSING CHEATER". Now what  ?? |
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jan 20, 2017 18:18:58 GMT -5
I don't know if I'd label her a cheater per say but she broke the marriage vows and she was not faithful. I know it's tough to not get justice with them because of the injustice and good years of our lives they robbed us of but try to find peace and happiness for yourself.
|
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Jan 20, 2017 18:26:15 GMT -5
Just had to throw this out there. My refuser recently said that she had been completely faithful for 28 years. I asked her if she really thought that, after cutting me off for 6 years, and telling me that my penis just didn't work anymore. I take this to mean that your W no longer finds your penis satisfying for her. It still functions, but it doesn't work for her. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2017 18:30:00 GMT -5
We appear to be talking semantics here. So, your missus claim of "being faithful" has some validity in the sense that she has been "faithful to herself". That is to say, she has followed her personal moral compass (to avoid sex with you) quite faithfully. But, let's agree with your summation that your missus is "a REFUSING CHEATER". Now what ?? I have already moved out. Divorce will be filed shortly. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2017 18:30:43 GMT -5
Just had to throw this out there. My refuser recently said that she had been completely faithful for 28 years. I asked her if she really thought that, after cutting me off for 6 years, and telling me that my penis just didn't work anymore. I take this to mean that your W no longer finds your penis satisfying for her. It still functions, but it doesn't work for her. I see your point, but she has no idea if it works for her since she has never tried to do anything to get it working. |
|
|
|
Post by rejected101 on Jan 21, 2017 5:15:32 GMT -5
She may have been faithful in the 'conventional' sense of being faithful but if you are 6 years without sex then she has been as faithful to your next door neighbour as she has to you. Loyalty isn't just not sleeping around behind your spouses back
|
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Jan 21, 2017 13:22:30 GMT -5
"Being Faithful" does not mean the same as "haven't cheated"
|
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Jan 21, 2017 14:35:24 GMT -5
"Being Faithful" does not mean the same as "haven't cheated" Just to play devils advocate here. If you intentionally look at porn, once, are you no longer faithful? |
|
|
|
Post by Apocrypha on Jan 21, 2017 14:38:09 GMT -5
She looked me right in the eye and said yes, even with that, she had been completely faithful. After 6 years of no sex, she is NOT a wife. A wife wants to have sex with her husband and a husband wants to have sex with his wife. People often trap themselves when they don't realize the assumptions carried by their language. Your ex-wife says "faithful", which to her, means she did not have sex with someone other than you. Implicit is the assumption that she is "monogamous" - meaning only one sexual partner. However, she does not appear to have a sexual partner at all, so it would be more correct to say that she is "celibate". Your concept of marriage, as opposed to other close partnerships and intimate relationships, is not compatible with celibacy. You correctly apply the language that recognizes that while you have had a wedding, the nature of your lived relationship lacks a component that is necessary for a marriage. In separating, you have applied a market correction on the definition of what you authentically DO have in your relationship, and she is now your separated ex-wife, and you two will explore what that means to you. |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Jan 21, 2017 14:50:40 GMT -5
"Being Faithful" does not mean the same as "haven't cheated" Just to play devils advocate here. If you intentionally look at porn, once, are you no longer faithful? Great question! Honestly, I think that depends on your perspective. What about masturbating thinking of another woman? How about just looking at a woman and thinking "damn I'd tap that ass." For me, I watch porn and take care of business almost daily, if not more frequently. When you've been completely cut off from human intimacy or even non platonic hugs for years, it is a survival strategy rather than lust for the act I'm seeing. Because I am visually stimulated, this just gets that daily chore out of the way a bit quicker. So I would actually say I am being faithful. I am also surviving. Checking out the hot chick at the coffee shop every morning and then jerking off thinking about her is actual lust for an actual real life woman with a name and a face in your actual life. I would say THAT is more unfaithful than watching two strangers. And sometimes I hate my wife for putting me in the situation where these are my choices. Jerking off to her is just too damn painful. |
|
|
|
Post by lyn on Jan 21, 2017 14:52:15 GMT -5
"Being Faithful" does not mean the same as "haven't cheated" Just to play devils advocate here. If you intentionally look at porn, once, are you no longer faithful? Imho, no, I don't think looking at porn once is "cheating". Looking only once is probably just curiousity. |
|
|
|
Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 21, 2017 15:03:36 GMT -5
Just to play devils advocate here. If you intentionally look at porn, once, are you no longer faithful? Great question! Honestly, I think that depends on your perspective. What about masturbating thinking of another woman? How about just looking at a woman and thinking "damn I'd tap that ass." For me, I watch porn and take care of business almost daily, if not more frequently. When you've been completely cut off from human intimacy or even non platonic hugs for years, it is a survival strategy rather than lust for the act I'm seeing. Because I am visually stimulated, this just gets that daily chore out of the way a bit quicker. So I would actually say I am being faithful. I am also surviving. Checking out the hot chick at the coffee shop every morning and then jerking off thinking about her is actual lust for an actual real life woman with a name and a face in your actual life. I would say THAT is more unfaithful than watching two strangers. And sometimes I hate my wife for putting me in the situation where these are my choices. Jerking off to her is just too damn painful. Snap shamster! |
|
|
|
Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 21, 2017 15:04:59 GMT -5
Just to play devils advocate here. If you intentionally look at porn, once, are you no longer faithful? Imho, no, I don't think looking at porn once is "cheating". Looking only once is probably just curiousity. I thought everyone watches it? And not just once. 🙈 |
|
|
|
Post by Apocrypha on Jan 21, 2017 15:13:36 GMT -5
Just to play devils advocate here. If you intentionally look at porn, once, are you no longer faithful? Great question! Honestly, I think that depends on your perspective. What about masturbating thinking of another woman? How about just looking at a woman and thinking "damn I'd tap that ass." For me, I watch porn and take care of business almost daily, if not more frequently. When you've been completely cut off from human intimacy or even non platonic hugs for years, it is a survival strategy rather than lust for the act I'm seeing. Because I am visually stimulated, this just gets that daily chore out of the way a bit quicker. So I would actually say I am being faithful. I am also surviving. Checking out the hot chick at the coffee shop every morning and then jerking off thinking about her is actual lust for an actual real life woman with a name and a face in your actual life. I would say THAT is more unfaithful than watching two strangers. And sometimes I hate my wife for putting me in the situation where these are my choices. Jerking off to her is just too damn painful. Being "faithful" is the wrong question to ask. Are you "monogamous" - meaning, do you have a sexual partner. Or, are you celibate? Priests are "faithful" to their ideals, though they are celibate. |
|
??
