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Post by lakeside4003 on Jan 6, 2017 18:55:15 GMT -5
Rhapsodee's thread about being playful got me thinking...is there a consistency among us (the refused) who tend to be more playful? I know it's a big difference between my wife and I. She's just not into being playful, cutesy or anything along those lines. Whether sexy or suggestive, or just plain old playful to have some positive energy, it's just not her style.
I expect there's something here, but would love to see how others respond...
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Post by baza on Jan 6, 2017 19:04:57 GMT -5
I would suggest that if you are a refused spouse, then any tendency you may have had to be - "playful, cutesy or anything along those lines" will be progressively knocked out of you by the passage of time.
OTOH, if your refusive spouse does engage in - "playful, cutesy or anything along those lines" type behaviour but doesn't deliver on it, that will tend to become highly annoying with the passage of time.
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Post by nancyb on Jan 6, 2017 19:14:25 GMT -5
I would suggest that if you are a refused spouse, then any tendency you may have had to be - "playful, cutesy or anything along those lines" will be progressively knocked out of you by the passage of time. OTOH, if your refusive spouse does engage in - "playful, cutesy or anything along those lines" type behaviour but doesn't deliver on it, that will tend to become highly annoying with the passage of time. Yes to ^^^ baza both right on the money. |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 6, 2017 21:26:49 GMT -5
Playful? Nope.
Responsive to playfulness? Nope.
Criticizes me for not being playful enough? Yep.
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Post by Pinkberry on Jan 6, 2017 21:37:53 GMT -5
My ex was playful when we first got together, but that was the period where he was drawing me into his narcissistic illusion. Once we moved into the SM stage, there was no playfulness ever.
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Post by shamwow on Jan 6, 2017 22:18:17 GMT -5
I'm in Houston and 10 minutes ago was hooking a pressure washer to the fence to try to make snow since it is 30 degrees outside. Already getting some ice forming on the cars.
Came inside and shot my son with this kind of monkey slingshot thing.
Playful enough for ya?
My wife is in the bedroom on her phone and Facebook. Playful with us? Not so much.
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 6, 2017 23:14:10 GMT -5
Playful, right up to the point that it has an intimate connotation, then deadpan. Pretends not to understand. Doesn't think it's funny. Stops responding.
She is very playful with our adult kids, because that's "safe".
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Post by whuffo on Jan 7, 2017 2:25:51 GMT -5
Playful? Nope. Responsive to playfulness? Nope. Criticizes me for not being playful enough? Yep. Dead on the money with this one... |
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Post by Lithium92 on Jan 7, 2017 4:10:29 GMT -5
Mine's as per earthhorse's and drycreek's. Playful, especially verbally, and with the cats, but not anything sexual.
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Post by tamara68 on Jan 7, 2017 5:28:30 GMT -5
My stbx is not playful at all. No play in any form whatsoever.
Sometimes he joined a game with me and my daughter but that was a huge sacrifice to him. And no fun at all.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 7, 2017 7:45:45 GMT -5
I could write pages about this. One example. taking a cruise. We live 1/2 hr from the largest cruise port on the east coast. Her "compromise/discussion"? We can't afford it, that would be boring, it's too cramped, lots of drinking going on, I wouldn't want to do any of those things once we get there.
Yet she was willing, saving, planning, to spend 20 times more for a trip back to China for the good of the children, with zero in-put or discussion with me.
My daughter told me the other day, "we were playing the I have never game at church the other day, and I knew how to win. When it was my turn I said, I have never been on a cruise. That eliminated all of them." Ans she wonders why we don't go anywhere anymore.
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Post by bballgirl on Jan 7, 2017 8:29:57 GMT -5
Not very much. He has a great sense of humor though and he's very witty.
Around 2012 one morning we were in bed around he started playfully wrestling with me, I said to him, if this isn't going anywhere then don't waste my time and we proceeded to have lousy sex. I think we had sex twice that year.
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Post by becca on Jan 7, 2017 9:25:52 GMT -5
My H definitely has a playful side and has always encouraged my very playful nature. For example, one time we were in Cancun and the entertainment staff from our cruise was in the same bar dancing on the tables. I mentioned how fun it looked and in seconds he had thrown me up there.
It wasn't unusual for him to come into the kitchen and twirl me around the floor when a good song was playing or help me plan special surprises for the kids. We had a medieval themed party for our child one year complete with a murder plot and he dressed in full costume and played the part of the king that was murdered.
But then if I turned it to sexual playfulness, I was being ridiculous or we didn't have time for that or I should have known he had too much on his mind. That goes back farther than I would like to admit.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 7, 2017 11:09:07 GMT -5
Vacations are right out. She only likes her space. She prefers to sleep in her own bed. Note that i said sleep ...
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2017 12:50:52 GMT -5
My H definitely has a playful side and has always encouraged my very playful nature. For example, one time we were in Cancun and the entertainment staff from our cruise was in the same bar dancing on the tables. I mentioned how fun it looked and in seconds he had thrown me up there. It wasn't unusual for him to come into the kitchen and twirl me around the floor when a good song was playing or help me plan special surprises for the kids. We had a medieval themed party for our child one year complete with a murder plot and he dressed in full costume and played the part of the king that was murdered. But then if I turned it to sexual playfulness, I was being ridiculous or we didn't have time for that or I should have known he had too much on his mind. That goes back farther than I would like to admit. I am with becca here my wife is good company and playful until it turns sexual then it's a big fat NO |
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