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Post by nancyb on Dec 21, 2016 17:17:37 GMT -5
Laser surgery is not treatment a for vaginitis. Antibiotics are. It would be unlikely to be suffering from an inflammation of the vagina for 20 years my friend. I'd call bullshit. That was my understanding, too. But it's not like I'm not going to bust into the gyno's office and demand the truth. As a typical guy, the stuff that happens in that office is a mystery I would just as soon not understand. It was only many years later that I was able to look a lot of this stuff up online and begin to realize I've been played for a fool by the person I trusted most. It wasn't a very pretty realization. Oh Shamwow....I would hazard the guess that everyone in this forum has had their own decimating realization. I'm sorry for your loss. |
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Post by csl on Dec 21, 2016 18:09:28 GMT -5
Words you will never hear because it would mean instant divorce, something she does not want. She has what she wants, you don't... "I'm not very interested in you physically. That's not why I married you..." It's a harsh world we live in here. It's softened by the manipulative BS from our refuses My dad is the only family member I've discussed this with. He loves my wife, but summed it up pretty well. "So, son, you're an ATM machine" Way to go, Dad!! My term for it is "The Walking Wallet." |
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Post by baza on Dec 21, 2016 22:02:34 GMT -5
It seems highly likely that your missus has spun you a line of bullshit.
But but the key thing is, you chose to swallow it, and thus legitimised it.
As soon as you swallowed it, it ceased to matter whether it was fact or bullshit.
As soon as you swallowed it, it became the status quo, the norm, the usual, the natural order of things in your deal, and inevitably plunged the deal in to ILIASM shithole status.
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And now, whether she was bullshitting you or not has ceased to be relevant.
You are in an ILIASM shithole.
That, is what is relevant.
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Post by csl on Dec 21, 2016 22:37:51 GMT -5
It seems highly likely that your missus has spun you a line of bullshit. But but the key thing is, you chose to swallow it, and thus legitimised it. As soon as you swallowed it, it ceased to matter whether it was fact or bullshit. As soon as you swallowed it, it became the status quo, the norm, the usual, the natural order of things in your deal, and inevitably plunged the deal in to ILIASM shithole status. - And now, whether she was bullshitting you or not has ceased to be relevant. You are in an ILIASM shithole. That, is what is relevant. "What's past is prologue" ~ Shakespeare Yes, what is is relevant. But what is also relevant is free will, power to choose the future that will succeed the present. |
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Post by snowman12345 on Dec 28, 2016 17:16:52 GMT -5
I am In health care and 20 years ago laser surgery wasn't used like it is today. Vaginitis - no. Genital warts - maybe. I will also call bs. She caught the happy bride syndrome - smiling because she has given her last bj. Just an opinion - based on decades of experience, not based on assessment.
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Post by shamwow on Dec 28, 2016 20:24:26 GMT -5
I am In health care and 20 years ago laser surgery wasn't used like it is today. Vaginitis - no. Genital warts - maybe. I will also call bs. She caught the happy bride syndrome - smiling because she has given her last bj. Just an opinion - based on decades of experience, not based on assessment. Your avatar kicks ass |
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Post by snowman12345 on Dec 28, 2016 22:45:01 GMT -5
I am In health care and 20 years ago laser surgery wasn't used like it is today. Vaginitis - no. Genital warts - maybe. I will also call bs. She caught the happy bride syndrome - smiling because she has given her last bj. Just an opinion - based on decades of experience, not based on assessment. Your avatar kicks ass : ) |
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Post by shamwow on Dec 29, 2016 0:02:56 GMT -5
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Post by shamwow on Dec 29, 2016 0:06:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2016 10:37:48 GMT -5
It seems highly likely that your missus has spun you a line of bullshit. But but the key thing is, you chose to swallow it, and thus legitimised it. As soon as you swallowed it, it ceased to matter whether it was fact or bullshit. As soon as you swallowed it, it became the status quo, the norm, the usual, the natural order of things in your deal, and inevitably plunged the deal in to ILIASM shithole status. - And now, whether she was bullshitting you or not has ceased to be relevant. You are in an ILIASM shithole. That, is what is relevant. Excellent post Baza! I did exactly the same thing. By accepting my wife's assertions too long, I gave unspoken agreement. Which is why it shocked her so much when I moved out. She could not believe that I was no longer accepting it and insisted that I return to my cell. I am not going to do that. |
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Post by shamwow on Dec 29, 2016 12:19:34 GMT -5
It seems highly likely that your missus has spun you a line of bullshit. But but the key thing is, you chose to swallow it, and thus legitimised it. As soon as you swallowed it, it ceased to matter whether it was fact or bullshit. As soon as you swallowed it, it became the status quo, the norm, the usual, the natural order of things in your deal, and inevitably plunged the deal in to ILIASM shithole status. - And now, whether she was bullshitting you or not has ceased to be relevant. You are in an ILIASM shithole. That, is what is relevant. Excellent post Baza! I did exactly the same thing. By accepting my wife's assertions too long, I gave unspoken agreement. Which is why it shocked her so much when I moved out. She could not believe that I was no longer accepting it and insisted that I return to my cell. I am not going to do that. Like a goddamn frog in water. Boil us up slow. I wonder if there is a special school our refusers go to in order to learn that skill? |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 29, 2016 12:27:06 GMT -5
Excellent post Baza! I did exactly the same thing. By accepting my wife's assertions too long, I gave unspoken agreement. Which is why it shocked her so much when I moved out. She could not believe that I was no longer accepting it and insisted that I return to my cell. I am not going to do that. Like a goddamn frog in water. Boil us up slow. I wonder if there is a special school our refusers go to in order to learn that skill? The best training I ever received in manipulating & control was from being raised in a dysfunctional family where the power struggles were unspoken. Warning: staying together "for the kids" is likely to keep the cycle repeating in their future. Just sayin. |
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Post by shamwow on Dec 29, 2016 12:38:31 GMT -5
Like a goddamn frog in water. Boil us up slow. I wonder if there is a special school our refusers go to in order to learn that skill? The best training I ever received in manipulating & control was from being raised in a dysfunctional family where the power struggles were unspoken. Warning: staying together "for the kids" is likely to keep the cycle repeating in their future. Just sayin. Perhaps I wasn't prepared for this as well as my wife was. Her folks divorced when she was young, and I grew up in the (relatively) Beaver Cleaver household. |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 29, 2016 20:12:20 GMT -5
The best training I ever received in manipulating & control was from being raised in a dysfunctional family where the power struggles were unspoken. Warning: staying together "for the kids" is likely to keep the cycle repeating in their future. Just sayin. Perhaps I wasn't prepared for this as well as my wife was. Her folks divorced when she was young, and I grew up in the (relatively) Beaver Cleaver household. Mine stayed together. It's debatable if they should have. All the kids lived but we manifest the dysfunction in a wide & entertaining variety of ways. |
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Post by baza on Dec 29, 2016 20:22:26 GMT -5
Whether your spouse is avoidant by deliberate and calculating conscious thought, or by simple natural ability, or by completely natural behaviour, the effect on you is the exact same either way.
You get disenfranchised.
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"Why" your missus behaves in such a manner doesn't matter.
That is an (optional) question she could pursue if she was of a mind to do so.
Most avoidants are NOT of a mind to do so.
They have the marriage they want.
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And, truth be told, if I had the marriage I wanted, I wouldn't be terribly enthusiastic about anything that threatened that continuing either.
Would you ?
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