|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Jan 19, 2017 16:16:10 GMT -5
Carol - I remember this phase of "the last of the shithole" months. It got downright weird. I am not sure you can make him stop the behavior, but you CAN use it as fuel to your decision making. This level of mistrust is a form of disrespect, in my mind. He can't trust you to be alone and/or, in my case, he maybe needed me to do something for him and so he needed to know when I'd be back to be his servant again. It got downright gross. Try your best to explain boundaries - like: I'm going to take a huge dump right now. Is it okay if I do that alone? (that was humor) :-)
|
|
|
|
Post by Carol on Jan 20, 2017 17:50:15 GMT -5
Carol - I remember this phase of "the last of the shithole" months. It got downright weird. I am not sure you can make him stop the behavior, but you CAN use it as fuel to your decision making. This level of mistrust is a form of disrespect, in my mind. He can't trust you to be alone and/or, in my case, he maybe needed me to do something for him and so he needed to know when I'd be back to be his servant again. It got downright gross. Try your best to explain boundaries - like: I'm going to take a huge dump right now. Is it okay if I do that alone? (that was humor) :-) |
|
|
|
Post by Carol on Jan 20, 2017 17:56:44 GMT -5
I'm sitting in a Starbucks right now to avoid going home. I know unfortunately there will be a ton of questions about where I was, why didn't I come home, etc.... I'm about ready to cry right here and now. I guess I'm burying my head in the sand about all this right now and I just need an escape from it. The more I am not at home with him the better.
|
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Jan 20, 2017 18:19:34 GMT -5
I get it, Carol - and I find it heart breaking we are living in environments we don't even want to go home to. Enjoy the Starbucks for a bit. I hope you find the strength to do whatever it is that you need to do to make your life a happy one. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2017 16:07:08 GMT -5
I'm sitting in a Starbucks right now to avoid going home. I know unfortunately there will be a ton of questions about where I was, why didn't I come home, etc.... I'm about ready to cry right here and now. I guess I'm burying my head in the sand about all this right now and I just need an escape from it. The more I am not at home with him the better. I know exactly how you feel. Once I went to the gym, and I left my phone in the truck. When I got back I had 3 missed calls, 2 voicemails, and 11 texts demanding to know where I was and what I was doing. It is really infuriating. |
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Feb 15, 2017 19:38:49 GMT -5
I'm sitting in a Starbucks right now to avoid going home. I know unfortunately there will be a ton of questions about where I was, why didn't I come home, etc.... I'm about ready to cry right here and now. I guess I'm burying my head in the sand about all this right now and I just need an escape from it. The more I am not at home with him the better. I know exactly how you feel. Once I went to the gym, and I left my phone in the truck. When I got back I had 3 missed calls, 2 voicemails, and 11 texts demanding to know where I was and what I was doing. It is really infuriating. I once had 35 missed calls in less than an hour. I was at Chuck E Cheese with the kids and he was invited. He was so mad but I didn't hear the phone because of the nature of the environment. |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Feb 16, 2017 8:41:56 GMT -5
I need to know if my STBX will be home for dinner, so I know how many to cook for, and what needs to be left out or saved. Even that is a luxury that I am doing for her, and isn't necessary. The only other thing is having her car available for our sons to drive. She is such a controller over the money, and has refused to listen to my logic about providing another car for our sons until they can earn enough to buy their own, her car is needed for them to use.
I tell my boys," I need my car, I have to drop off your sister, and pick up your brother, and I have my own appointments. Call your mom and tell her, you need a ride. She doesn't speak to me and I don't know when she will be home.
Things will be better after the divorce. She is going to have to provide another vehicle for the teens. She gets to keep the 17 yr old negative value truck that sits in the garage.
|
|
