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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2016 14:58:57 GMT -5
An Ex-EPer I chat with had a FWB. They live near each other, he talked of his sexless marriage, they had a lot in common and he said he was looking for just one person to fill the void. Quickly after the affair start he demand she stop talking to any men. She had told him of EP and her support network. She also told him she was emotionally close with another person who lived thousands of miles away and they chat, flirt and sext etc. He was particularly unhappy with this and demand she stop that immediately. She called him intense. Their affair has been going a month and there were a few odd signs, he lied about his age and would not give her his last name. So last week she told him one of her male friends was coming to town and he instantly broke up with her, she said he did it nicely then deleted his message accounts. She is trying to figure out what happened. I would like comments and thoughts from members on this so I can show her. I didn't want to give her my true opinions up front because I think she would just think it was me spouting off and being negative.
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Post by cagedtiger on Oct 4, 2016 15:20:48 GMT -5
An Ex-EPer I chat with had a FWB. They live near each other, he talked of his sexless marriage, they had a lot in common and he said he was looking for just one person to fill the void. Quickly after the affair start he demand she stop talking to any men. She had told him of EP and her support network. She also told him she was emotionally close with another person who lived thousands of miles away and they chat, flirt and sext etc. He was particularly unhappy with this and demand she stop that immediately. She called him intense. Their affair has been going a month and there were a few odd signs, he lied about his age and would not give her his last name. So last week she told him one of her male friends was coming to town and he instantly broke up with her, she said he did it nicely then deleted his message accounts. She is trying to figure out what happened. I would like comments and thoughts from members on this so I can show her. I didn't want to give her my true opinions up front because I think she would just think it was me spouting off and being negative. Sounds to me like the guy has jealousy, or trust, or control issues, or some combination thereof. Maybe also a bit of an unrequited attraction that was stronger thank he suggested? All in all, it sounds like she's dodged a bullet. That's just my two cents. |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 4, 2016 15:47:52 GMT -5
A month is nothing and affairs come and go even after one time and you never hear from them again.
Sounds like she dodged the crazy train bullet! Who the hell is he to make any demands on what she does or doesn't do.
As far as an affair and especially as a woman she should not just settle for the first guy that fucks her unless he's totally blowing her mind and checking off all the boxes.
Bottom line:She has a pussy she can have her pick if she looks in the right places.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2016 16:10:39 GMT -5
What happened? She got involved with a possessive jerk. Who by the way wanted her to promise monogamy from the shadows. He wanted her to live on the fringes of his life, second fiddle to wifey, and that was supposed to be enough for her.
But when they get upset over even platonic friendships with other men, that's veering off into psycho territory.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 4, 2016 16:48:00 GMT -5
She ought to just be glad that he broke it off, if you ask me. The guy won't give his NAME or be honest about AGE but he is supposed to be able to dictate what she can & cannot do ELECTRONICALLY. Um - NO. That may be a guy she fucked but he is no friend.
He wanted to control FAR too much to be called a friend.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2016 17:13:22 GMT -5
What happened? She got involved with a possessive jerk. Who by the way wanted her to promise monogamy from the shadows. He wanted her to live on the fringes of his life, second fiddle to wifey, and that was supposed to be enough for her. But when they get upset over even platonic friendships with other men, that's veering off into psycho territory. I so agree, I haven't really expressed this yet to her but his act seemed so down pat and polished that he is a player and has many women on the go, and I am sure demanding loyalty from each while he nails everything he can get his hands on. |
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Post by becca on Oct 4, 2016 17:22:51 GMT -5
Bullet dodged.
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Post by beachguy on Oct 4, 2016 18:08:54 GMT -5
That is far, far from my definition of an FWB, which is no strings attached.
Labels aside I second all the preceding regarding controlling psycho and etc. A bullet well dodged.
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Post by baza on Oct 4, 2016 18:36:14 GMT -5
#1 - "Quickly after the affair start he demand she stop talking to any men"
Yet apparently, she kept rooting him.
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#2 - "She had told him of EP and her support network. She also told him she was emotionally close with another person who lived thousands of miles away and they chat, flirt and sext etc. He was particularly unhappy with this and demand she stop that immediately"
Yet apparently, she kept seeing him still.
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#3 - he lied about his age and would not give her his last name"
Yet still she continued on with him.
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#4 - "So last week she told him one of her male friends was coming to town and he instantly broke up with her"
So apparently, this would still be going on if the bloke hadn't ditched her.
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"She is trying to figure out what happened"
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What happened is that the immutable life law of choice and consequence kicked in.
She made a series of uninformed choices, in persisting with the bloke, and they had adverse consequences.
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Then, she got lucky.
HE made a choice, to give her the arse, thus putting an end to the circus.
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The disturbing feature about this is her apparent inability to call a halt to this deal herself.
It reads like if he had not called it quits, it was just going to run on indefinitely in to a bigger fuck up.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2016 18:48:52 GMT -5
What happened? She got involved with a possessive jerk. Who by the way wanted her to promise monogamy from the shadows. He wanted her to live on the fringes of his life, second fiddle to wifey, and that was supposed to be enough for her. But when they get upset over even platonic friendships with other men, that's veering off into psycho territory. I so agree, I haven't really expressed this yet to her but his act seemed so down pat and polished that he is a player and has many women on the go, and I am sure demanding loyalty from each while he nails everything he can get his hands on. My first name's Johnny. No one knows my last name. |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 4, 2016 18:57:31 GMT -5
I so agree, I haven't really expressed this yet to her but his act seemed so down pat and polished that he is a player and has many women on the go, and I am sure demanding loyalty from each while he nails everything he can get his hands on. My first name's Johnny. No one knows my last name. The fact that she had sex with him and didn't know his last name blows my mind. Before I will sleep with someone I have to know their full name. I will even make them show me their driver's license. One time I went out with a cop, I made him show me his license and badge. This day in age safety should be a huge priority. |
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Post by dancingbear70 on Oct 4, 2016 19:05:14 GMT -5
My first name's Johnny. No one knows my last name. The fact that she had sex with him and didn't know his last name blows my mind. Before I will sleep with someone I have to know their full name. I will even make them show me their driver's license. One time I went out with a cop, I made him show me his license and badge. This day in age safety should be a huge priority. I know this is a real and serious point, but I can't stop laughing. I'm picturing you busting a half naked guy for using his older brother's expired license as a fake ID! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 4, 2016 19:06:15 GMT -5
My first name's Johnny. No one knows my last name. The fact that she had sex with him and didn't know his last name blows my mind. Before I will sleep with someone I have to know their full name. I will even make them show me their driver's license. One time I went out with a cop, I made him show me his license and badge. This day in age safety should be a huge priority. Drivers license, STI test results and the expiration date on the condom. Just sayin'! |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 4, 2016 19:51:53 GMT -5
The fact that she had sex with him and didn't know his last name blows my mind. Before I will sleep with someone I have to know their full name. I will even make them show me their driver's license. One time I went out with a cop, I made him show me his license and badge. This day in age safety should be a huge priority. I know this is a real and serious point, but I can't stop laughing. I'm picturing you busting a half naked guy for using his older brother's expired license as a fake ID! I'm glad it gave you a laugh. I've even run their tag when I first meet them. My brother is a cop. |
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Post by unmatched on Oct 4, 2016 19:55:34 GMT -5
Maybe there is a reason this guy is in a sexless marriage...
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