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Post by snowman12345 on Apr 11, 2016 4:16:10 GMT -5
Today is my birthday. Yipee! I have lived another year. So yesterday being my wife and my only day off together, we decided to go to the local watering hole and visit with some friends. I suggested that I might have a better time if I got laid first. (I was feeling very frustrated at the time). Lo and behold, she agreed! Yay! pre-birthday nookie! It had been months since our last encounter and years since actual intercourse. I know, I know - reset sex. But as we were getting dressed she makes the comment, "You know, I don't hate it quite so much anymore. You could ask for it more often." Wait. What? So, I get a backhanded compliment and a request for more sex? I know, I know reset sex. I am not breaking up with my FWB just yet. "I don't hate it quite so much anymore." Woo. F*ckin'. Hoo. There's an ego booster! |
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 11, 2016 4:39:31 GMT -5
Wow! What did you answer her? Or were you lost for words?
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 11, 2016 7:36:33 GMT -5
That is a rough one.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 11, 2016 8:30:52 GMT -5
I know, I know - reset sex. But as we were getting dressed she makes the comment, "You know, I don't hate it quite so much anymore. You could ask for it more often." Wait. What? So, I get a backhanded compliment and a request for more sex? I know, I know reset sex. I am not breaking up with my FWB just yet. "I don't hate it quite so much anymore." Woo. F*ckin'. Hoo. There's an ego booster! Were is the passion, intimacy, commitment, respect, and trust in that? Guard your heart! You could throw that back in her face, what would that do? Well...it would point out her hypocrisy, remind her of all the rejection, and who wants that! quote her and ask her to elaborate, re word what she said. Tell her you want to understand,and listen. You sound like you are very aware of her lines, excuses, blaming, avoiding, and finger pointing. Odds are you will get all the blame. I good time to bring up " trust", the lack of trust you experience when you open your heart through intimacy, and get rejected. Happy birthday! ( my son turns 16 today too!) |
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mathdoll
Junior Member
The light is getting brighter........
Posts: 88 
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Post by mathdoll on Apr 11, 2016 9:06:59 GMT -5
What great advice. I love the simplicity and clarity of it. Thank you. |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 11, 2016 10:18:30 GMT -5
"You know, I don't hate it quite so much anymore. You could ask for it more often." Happy birthday! And congratulations on being "less awful"?? Well, since you don't seem averse to the idea (great!), I'd say take her at face value and give it a try. If she declines more than once, feed her words back to her and ask her to explain her intent. It will be telling to see what her definition of "more often" is... annually? If you're trying to find ways to stay, maybe this is a glimmer of progress. I'm sure you realize this isn't likely to be a radical turnaround. DC |
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 11, 2016 12:33:38 GMT -5
A very Happy Birthday to you!!!
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Post by misssunnybunny on Apr 11, 2016 14:33:32 GMT -5
Happy Birthday!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 18:02:10 GMT -5
Happy birthday. I hope it was happy, even though she was weird about the sex. But, she IS a refuser.
Talk about damning someone with faint praise - "I don't hate it so much any more?"
I second the advice of DryCreek - call her bluff!
But, I also have to say you are right not to break up with your FWB.
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mariposa43
Junior Member
Posts: 47
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by mariposa43 on Apr 11, 2016 18:09:23 GMT -5
Happy Birthday, Snowman!  |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 18:25:46 GMT -5
Today is my birthday. Yipee! I have lived another year. So yesterday being my wife and my only day off together, we decided to go to the local watering hole and visit with some friends. I suggested that I might have a better time if I got laid first. (I was feeling very frustrated at the time). Lo and behold, she agreed! Yay! pre-birthday nookie! It had been months since our last encounter and years since actual intercourse. I know, I know - reset sex. But as we were getting dressed she makes the comment, "You know, I don't hate it quite so much anymore. You could ask for it more often." Wait. What? So, I get a backhanded compliment and a request for more sex? I know, I know reset sex. I am not breaking up with my FWB just yet. "I don't hate it quite so much anymore." Woo. F*ckin'. Hoo. There's an ego booster! Wow! This is truly an example of a refusing cheater being incredibly self-centered and uncaring. I would be tempted to respond with, "Well, actually, that was really not worth the effort and certainly not worth the wait. Why don't you keep your dried up pussy to yourself." I know that was harsh, but saying you don't hate sex so much is very rude and disrespectful. Frankly, a woman like this does not deserve to have a pussy and she gives real women a bad name! |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 18:56:00 GMT -5
Today is my birthday. Yipee! I have lived another year. So yesterday being my wife and my only day off together, we decided to go to the local watering hole and visit with some friends. I suggested that I might have a better time if I got laid first. (I was feeling very frustrated at the time). Lo and behold, she agreed! Yay! pre-birthday nookie! It had been months since our last encounter and years since actual intercourse. I know, I know - reset sex. But as we were getting dressed she makes the comment, "You know, I don't hate it quite so much anymore. You could ask for it more often." Wait. What? So, I get a backhanded compliment and a request for more sex? I know, I know reset sex. I am not breaking up with my FWB just yet. "I don't hate it quite so much anymore." Woo. F*ckin'. Hoo. There's an ego booster! Wow! This is truly an example of a refusing cheater being incredibly self-centered and uncaring. I would be tempted to respond with, "Well, actually, that was really not worth the effort and certainly not worth the wait. Why don't you keep your dried up pussy to yourself." I know that was harsh, but saying you don't hate sex so much is very rude and disrespectful. Frankly, a woman like this does not deserve to have a pussy and she gives real women a bad name! I love it, Flash! |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Apr 13, 2016 11:20:34 GMT -5
"You could ask for it more often." That is absolutely magical.
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Post by LITW on Apr 21, 2016 9:12:11 GMT -5
I wonder how many notebooks it would take to record all the devastating things our refusers have said?
Its really hard to get past those comments, even after the refuser swears on a stack of Bibles that he or she "didn't mean to hurt" you.
My W said a bunch of things to me early in our marriage that hurt me very deeply, but the thing that hurt the most was when she looked me in the eye, and said with a straight face that she believed that habitual porn viewing (which I was doing at the time) was more "evil" than being addicted to heroine.
She said that 9 years ago and has apologized to me multiple times for saying that, but I am still having a really hard time letting go of that because it made me feel as if I were defective.
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 21, 2016 9:18:56 GMT -5
...habitual porn viewing (which I was doing at the time) was more "evil" than being addicted to heroine. She said that 9 years ago and has apologized to me multiple times for saying that, but I am still having a really hard time letting go of that because it made me feel as if I were defective. It is difficult to ignore comments like that. You are not defective. And her judgement is worth nothing. My husband noticed that I have watched porn sometimes. He said similar things. It is disgusting and perverted and immoral according to him. He always thinks he is the moral one and I am the bad, immoral, 'evil' maybe too. I try not to listen anymore. It is not the truth and it comes from an insane person so why would I listen? |
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