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Post by wewbwb on Apr 10, 2016 8:54:54 GMT -5
At least its conformation that its NOT you. You are/were not the problem. If hes refusing others who are inviting him to use a drawer full of toys, the issue is clearly him.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Apr 10, 2016 9:00:50 GMT -5
As awful as it is that you and the kids still have to have contact with him, it does sound like he met his perfect match. Above all, it definitely wasn't you, it was him with the problem.
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 10, 2016 14:09:51 GMT -5
Oh yeah--he actually said he ran out of one girlfriend's house after she showed him her drawer full of toys  ? Just wow. No way this is a straight guy. At least you can rest assured that the problem was never with you. It's sad that he did this to you just so he could have a cover story; that's heartless. And continuing to tell you details of his non-sex life... He sounds very socially inept. Welcome to our new hangout! |
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Post by Dan on Apr 10, 2016 14:54:38 GMT -5
Not sure why you stared with "Sorry my first post on here" -- that was a great first post!
Welcome to the ILIASM forum... and my condolences for being in an SM in the first place.
Sounds like you have a pretty good "read" of your ex's situation. That's good.
And you? How are you holding up?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2016 19:24:23 GMT -5
Sorry my first post on here. Just had to post this. My refuser, after parading a countless number of "girlfriends" in front of the kids and his mother (to maintain the non-gay charade) has finally found someone who morally objects to sex lol. He had to dump all the others because they all demanded sex lol. And for whatever reason, he felt the need to share with me, even though I told him repeatedly that I didn't care. Anyway his new sexless gf told him that she won't have sex with him until he is saved. He goes to church to pretend he is faithful, but there will never be a consumation in that relationship. It's perfect for her, because he is safe, it is perfect for him, because he can remain sexless. It has lasted now for months, because both are maintaining their outward appearances. Pathetic that my kids and I have to continue to be connected to that controlling pos. I look forward to the day that I no longer have to exchange the kids. Maybe this am I will wear earplugs so I don't have to listen to his garbage! Oh yeah--he actually said he ran out of one girlfriend's house after she showed him her drawer full of toys ? Good god. I don't know all the background of your story. I know that in some places, people are more conservative. But if he really is gay, couldn't he come out? |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 11:05:01 GMT -5
Sorry my first post on here. Just had to post this. My refuser, after parading a countless number of "girlfriends" in front of the kids and his mother (to maintain the non-gay charade) has finally found someone who morally objects to sex lol. He had to dump all the others because they all demanded sex lol. And for whatever reason, he felt the need to share with me, even though I told him repeatedly that I didn't care. Anyway his new sexless gf told him that she won't have sex with him until he is saved. He goes to church to pretend he is faithful, but there will never be a consumation in that relationship. It's perfect for her, because he is safe, it is perfect for him, because he can remain sexless. It has lasted now for months, because both are maintaining their outward appearances. Pathetic that my kids and I have to continue to be connected to that controlling pos. I look forward to the day that I no longer have to exchange the kids. Maybe this am I will wear earplugs so I don't have to listen to his garbage! Oh yeah--he actually said he ran out of one girlfriend's house after she showed him her drawer full of toys ? Be happy for them. You are out of it now, and don't have to deal with it. Try and focus on your own life, and leave two people who seem a perfect match to theirs. Tell him that you don't want to know about his girlfriends and new relationships. If he does not respect your wishes, walk away, hang up, or totally ignore what he's saying by not responding. You are carrying an ocean full of residual pain, and that's normal, but just leave them to it. Of course, you can also vent here...as you are doing. We are here for you. |
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Post by Dan on Apr 11, 2016 11:23:49 GMT -5
Good god. I don't know all the background of your story. I know that in some places, people are more conservative. But if he really is gay, couldn't he come out? Good point! It seems he is dealing with his gayness by going "deeper undercover" by dating a conservative Christian! Why not just "come out" and live authentically? Even if that means moving to a community that will accept him. Ah, oh well. I'd rather help a new fellow member -- pointbreakgirl -- with her current issues than spend any more time giving advice for her ex. |
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Post by Dan on Apr 15, 2016 12:19:08 GMT -5
Oh yeah--he actually said he ran out of one girlfriend's house after she showed him her drawer full of toys ? Just re-read your post. You know, in my post-SM relationships (assuming I'm headed that way), I think I'm going to REQUIRE any woman I'm seeing to HAVE a "drawer full of toys".... |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2016 16:40:29 GMT -5
Oh yeah--he actually said he ran out of one girlfriend's house after she showed him her drawer full of toys ? Just re-read your post. You know, in my post-SM relationships (assuming I'm headed that way), I think I'm going to REQUIRE any woman I'm seeing to HAVE a "drawer full of toys".... What if I just have one toy, but I really, *really* like that one? |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 15, 2016 21:12:36 GMT -5
What if I just have one toy, but I really, *really* like that one? I, for one, could be convinced. Any woman willing to defend her toy ... Well, that alone speaks volumes! I'd leave it in your hands (ahem) to determine the best way to express its... efficacy. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2016 12:23:00 GMT -5
What if I just have one toy, but I really, *really* like that one? I, for one, could be convinced. Any woman willing to defend her toy ... Well, that alone speaks volumes! I'd leave it in your hands (ahem) to determine the best way to express its... efficacy. What can I say? I'm loyal. I find one I like....I stick with it. [g] |
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Post by unmatched on Apr 17, 2016 8:34:44 GMT -5
I, for one, could be convinced. Any woman willing to defend her toy ... Well, that alone speaks volumes! I'd leave it in your hands (ahem) to determine the best way to express its... efficacy. What can I say? I'm loyal. I find one I like....I stick with it. [g] Until it stops working. Then you really have to dump it and move on  |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 17, 2016 8:45:21 GMT -5
I, for one, could be convinced. Any woman willing to defend her toy ... Well, that alone speaks volumes! I'd leave it in your hands (ahem) to determine the best way to express its... efficacy. What can I say? I'm loyal. I find one I like....I stick with it. [g] Can we play too? Or at least watch?☺ |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2016 21:03:12 GMT -5
I, for one, could be convinced. Any woman willing to defend her toy ... Well, that alone speaks volumes! I'd leave it in your hands (ahem) to determine the best way to express its... efficacy. What can I say? I'm loyal. I find one I like....I stick with it. [g] That's what I like, traditional values. |
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Post by littlebit on Apr 21, 2016 22:33:50 GMT -5
"You can have my toy when you pry it from my cold dead hands." --Clint Eastwood
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