Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2016 0:29:02 GMT -5
I just realized I have never lived with a man who wants sex. If I ever live with a man again, I have no idea if our sex drives are likely to align. What weird thoughts, first to think that I would ever live with anyone agajn, and then to consider maybe I would be the lower libido spouse, how odd that would be.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Sept 11, 2016 0:49:03 GMT -5
I would figure that you would most likely exhaustively explore the sexual compatibility issue - BEFORE - you committed to living with a bloke Sister Helen.
And, if it was a hopeless mis-match (either way) you'd not proceed.
|
|
|
|
Post by eternaloptimism on Sept 11, 2016 7:22:18 GMT -5
I just realized I have never lived with a man who wants sex. If I ever live with a man again, I have no idea if our sex drives are likely to align. What weird thoughts, first to think that I would ever live with anyone agajn, and then to consider maybe I would be the lower libido spouse, how odd that would be. I thought about that too. But then. No. I can't see my libido going anywhere but up with the right partner in crime! |
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Sept 11, 2016 8:37:29 GMT -5
I don't really know that I ever want to live with somebody again. I really like the idea that separate living spaces reinforce the aspect that we are two individuals, with our own things/plans/destiny/lives who choose to spend time together. I suppose it depends how far apart the living quarters would be - like someone in the neighborhood would be simpler than driving across town all of the time - but...
I don't know. For me, this would be so far off that I guess I can contemplate it before it will actually come up.
I have never lived alone before and this past year of it has been a really wonderful thing, honestly. I like it and won't want to give that up for a long time.
|
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on Sept 11, 2016 9:39:33 GMT -5
I don't really know that I ever want to live with somebody again. I really like the idea that separate living spaces reinforce the aspect that we are two individuals, with our own things/plans/destiny/lives who choose to spend time together. I suppose it depends how far apart the living quarters would be - like someone in the neighborhood would be simpler than driving across town all of the time - but... I don't know. For me, this would be so far off that I guess I can contemplate it before it will actually come up. I have never lived alone before and this past year of it has been a really wonderful thing, honestly. I like it and won't want to give that up for a long time. I wouldn't mind a "distance" relationship. One where the anticipation of seeing the person builds up. It all depends on the person and the situation. |
|
|
|
Post by becca on Sept 11, 2016 9:43:33 GMT -5
I just realized I have never lived with a man who wants sex. If I ever live with a man again, I have no idea if our sex drives are likely to align. What weird thoughts, first to think that I would ever live with anyone agajn, and then to consider maybe I would be the lower libido spouse, how odd that would be. Helen, I think it is too early to determine that you would be the lower libido spouse! When we are denied and denied over and over, something definitely shuts down inside of us but I have to believe that can be reignited in the right situation. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2016 13:05:50 GMT -5
I don't really know that I ever want to live with somebody again. I really like the idea that separate living spaces reinforce the aspect that we are two individuals, with our own things/plans/destiny/lives who choose to spend time together. I suppose it depends how far apart the living quarters would be - like someone in the neighborhood would be simpler than driving across town all of the time - but... I don't know. For me, this would be so far off that I guess I can contemplate it before it will actually come up. I have never lived alone before and this past year of it has been a really wonderful thing, honestly. I like it and won't want to give that up for a long time. I agree. It would be hard to live with anyone again. My ideal scenario is to live within a short walk, next door would be ideal if possible. I'm not saying I think it could happen or would happen (at this point I have a hard time thinking I will ever have a long-term relationship again). I was just struck with the idea last night that I have no idea what women complaining of overly amorous husbands live with. In my 20s I always enjoyed more hamds-on boyfriends than hands-off, so I wish I did know what it was like. It's just a thought experiment to see if I might be capable of being seen by some man as a refuser. Baza is right however. Knowing how important this is, I would never stay in a grossly mismatched relationship. |
|
|
|
Post by Caris on Sept 11, 2016 13:07:31 GMT -5
I don't really know that I ever want to live with somebody again. I really like the idea that separate living spaces reinforce the aspect that we are two individuals, with our own things/plans/destiny/lives who choose to spend time together. I suppose it depends how far apart the living quarters would be - like someone in the neighborhood would be simpler than driving across town all of the time - but... I don't know. For me, this would be so far off that I guess I can contemplate it before it will actually come up. I have never lived alone before and this past year of it has been a really wonderful thing, honestly. I like it and won't want to give that up for a long time. Same here, Grant. The loneliness I feel is no fun, but I've come to value living alone, and having my own space. I don't want to give that up because I like it. I like pleasing myself, and doing what "I" want to do, when "I" want to do it. Being together and sharing experiences with a compatible man is something I greatly desire, but not at the expense of relinquishing my space. |
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Sept 11, 2016 13:56:47 GMT -5
I don't really know that I ever want to live with somebody again. I really like the idea that separate living spaces reinforce the aspect that we are two individuals, with our own things/plans/destiny/lives who choose to spend time together. I suppose it depends how far apart the living quarters would be - like someone in the neighborhood would be simpler than driving across town all of the time - but... I don't know. For me, this would be so far off that I guess I can contemplate it before it will actually come up. I have never lived alone before and this past year of it has been a really wonderful thing, honestly. I like it and won't want to give that up for a long time. I knew a gal once who described her perfect scenario as married, living separately, but nearby. I thought it was odd at the time (20 years ago). Now I have an appreciation for the idea. First, there's the whole "familiarity breeds contempt" angle. It's easy to lose a sense of value for that which you have constant access to. When meeting becomes purposeful, it's more treasured. Second, maintaining some mystery. Seeing me with bed head, unshaven, half-asleep, with morning breath... well, that kinda takes the edge off the witty, groomed image. And seeing the 10,000 experiments that failed makes the marvelous achievements seem much less impressive. That said, how to not surrender the opportunity for spontaneous affection? Or morning sex? Perhaps, separate "master suites" with private spaces, and normally separate sleeping arrangements? |
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Sept 11, 2016 14:03:39 GMT -5
DryCreek - I would like unmarried but monogamous living separately but nearby and with lots of spending the night at each other's places. Living like a stewardess, so to speak, with overnight bag and/but only two destinations. Many nights each in our own place but...say...1 or 2 nights in any given week at whoever's house has more groceries. Or something like that. I think.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2016 14:06:28 GMT -5
DryCreek - I have a friend who has been married for over 30 years who swears the keys to a happy marriage are: separate bedrooms, separate bank accounts and no kids. I could definitely go for the first two, but I do love my kids and wouldn't give them up for anything. I used to argue with her all the time about the bedrooms thing, but she insists it's great and that it hasn't slowed down their sex life one bit (they do sometimes "sleep over"in the other person's bed and they sleep together when they travel also). She's always pointing out things like morning breath just like you did. She likes to slip into sexy lingerie to wake up her husband on weekends so I guess it's working for them. I used to think she was nuts, but now it appeals to me!
|
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Sept 11, 2016 16:51:35 GMT -5
I just realized I have never lived with a man who wants sex. If I ever live with a man again, I have no idea if our sex drives are likely to align. What weird thoughts, first to think that I would ever live with anyone agajn, and then to consider maybe I would be the lower libido spouse, how odd that would be. I thought about that too. But then. No. I can't see my libido going anywhere but up with the right partner in crime! EternalO,
If that's what it's called these days than I'm a criminal! 
|
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Sept 11, 2016 16:59:45 GMT -5
To try to add some levity to this,
It gives a whole new idea to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
"Won't you be my neighbor"
Maybe he really was on to something 30 years ago lol
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2016 17:28:22 GMT -5
I just realized I have never lived with a man who wants sex. If I ever live with a man again, I have no idea if our sex drives are likely to align. What weird thoughts, first to think that I would ever live with anyone agajn, and then to consider maybe I would be the lower libido spouse, how odd that would be. Actually, I'm not sure whether or not I want to live with a man again at all. I've discovered I like having my own place. A man would have to be almost miraculously special to persuade me to give that up. I do want a partner again, but couldn't we just live in the same neighborhood and visit a lot? |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Sept 11, 2016 18:46:08 GMT -5
I just realized I have never lived with a man who wants sex. If I ever live with a man again, I have no idea if our sex drives are likely to align. What weird thoughts, first to think that I would ever live with anyone agajn, and then to consider maybe I would be the lower libido spouse, how odd that would be. Actually, I'm not sure whether or not I want to live with a man again at all. I've discovered I like having my own place. A man would have to be almost miraculously special to persuade me to give that up. I do want a partner again, but couldn't we just live in the same neighborhood and visit a lot? Wanted to throw this out there. I remembered it, and looked it up. It's from the book "Growing Through Divorce" by Jim Smoke. What if I don't find someone? National statistics ( don't know the date on this, book was written in 1995) indicate that 90 percent of all divorced persons remarry . With the average on your side, the chances are you will remarry someday. Hopefully you will wait until you can put your life back together and grow from the experience of your divorce. Woman frequently ask where all the good eligible men are. The men ask where all the good eligible woman are. One thing is for sure- they are not all hiding in the same place. There are good people everywhere. You will find them if you take the time to look. There are people who choose not to remarry, and this is a personal choice. Not everyone should be married and not everyone should be single. Every individual should evaluate what is best for them. it is not easy to start dating life after being married for 10,20,30,40, years. In many instances, it's not a case of being to old, but to rusty. Remembering what to say, what to do, where to go, and how to act is not easy when you have lived a long time with only one person. Dating after many years of a married existence will be as scary for you as it is for your 15- yr. old son or daughter. You build confidence as you go. And unless you decide to remain single the rest of your life, you will have to enter the dating world. i would like to find as recent a statistic on this as possible. Found it! 2013 ; 64% men and 54% women remarry. |
|
