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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 16, 2016 8:27:33 GMT -5
Yeah, that sounds about right. Ha! Yeah. At one point in therapy W complained that I pressured her too much for sex. When I pointed out that for the past 3 months I'd been completely hands-off and zero comments. Well... she hadn't noticed. Maybe it's something in the water, like the fluoride to help prevent tooth decay. Yeah, maybe it's the fluoride. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 16, 2016 8:44:43 GMT -5
Ha! Yeah. At one point in therapy W complained that I pressured her too much for sex. When I pointed out that for the past 3 months I'd been completely hands-off and zero comments. Well... she hadn't noticed. Maybe it's something in the water, like the fluoride to help prevent tooth decay. Yeah, maybe it's the fluoride. Because it's sapping our precious bodily essences? |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Aug 16, 2016 14:51:26 GMT -5
I appreciate very much when my significant other cares enough to be romantic. I feel myself soften and become receptive to my SO's attentions. The music, the wine and candles were so special. It was incredibly romantic even though I'm allergic to scented candles and my sinuses swelled and I couldn't breathe.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 16, 2016 15:02:28 GMT -5
I appreciatea very much when my significant other cares enough to be romantic. I feel myself soften and become receptive to my SO's attentions. The music, the wine and candles were so special. It was incredibly romantic even though I'm allergic to scented candles and my sinuses swelled and I couldn't breathe. That sounds so foreign, my wife has me conditioned that those things mean nothing! The last time I took her out for dinner, a movie, and a night at a hotel, she had nothing to say at dinner, put a drink and popcorn between us at the movie, and was yawning her head off on the way to the hotel, and fell asleep! The same woman who jumps to her feet the moment her daddy is the least bit sick at 11:00 pm! More reprogramming to have to do for the future! |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Aug 16, 2016 15:03:00 GMT -5
From my husband, I would get flowers, romantic dinners, and chivalry, but no sex. Every time I would get sad about the lack of intimacy, he'd give me flowers or take me to dinner. I finally told him I'd rather not have the flowers or romantic dinners, I felt they were meant to distract me from the lack of intimacy. I see that he was trying, doing his best. Now, he joins me for evening beach walks and we stop at one of the little restaurants around the beach for a light dinner before going home. This is more personal to me. I'm getting companionship from him and that is nice.
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Post by Rhapsodee on Aug 16, 2016 16:54:14 GMT -5
I appreciatea very much when my significant other cares enough to be romantic. I feel myself soften and become receptive to my SO's attentions. The music, the wine and candles were so special. It was incredibly romantic even though I'm allergic to scented candles and my sinuses swelled and I couldn't breathe. That sounds so foreign, my wife has me conditioned that those things mean nothing! The last time I took her out for dinner, a movie, and a night at a hotel, she had nothing to say at dinner, put a drink and popcorn between us at the movie, and was yawning her head off on the way to the hotel, and fell asleep! The same woman who jumps to her feet the moment her daddy is the least bit sick at 11:00 pm! More reprogramming to have to do for the future! That's interesting she's so attentive to her father. Is he demanding in a way that has caused her to mistrust a man's tender romantic efforts? Is she at his beck and call not out of love, but because of conditioning? Maybe there's some clue to her issues in that relationship? |
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 16, 2016 17:15:51 GMT -5
That sounds so foreign, my wife has me conditioned that those things mean nothing! The last time I took her out for dinner, a movie, and a night at a hotel, she had nothing to say at dinner, put a drink and popcorn between us at the movie, and was yawning her head off on the way to the hotel, and fell asleep! The same woman who jumps to her feet the moment her daddy is the least bit sick at 11:00 pm! More reprogramming to have to do for the future! That's interesting she's so attentive to her father. Is he demanding in a way that has caused her to mistrust a man's tender romantic efforts? Is she at his beck and call not out of love, but because of conditioning? Maybe there's some clue to her issues in that relationship? Thanks for caring! That's a good guess! Him and I are pees in a pod. He was a "yes dear" while his wife is a manipulative controller, refuser. So the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! My wife even said to me before we were married, " if you find me being anything like my mom, tell me right away". However months ago when I did just that the response is, " don't call me that anymore". She has much control over him too, (especially since he is 84 yrs old) and likes it that way. Like your husband she is also a boss over other men at work. They probably see us and treat us as another employee. Not to go into the " why" too much, but, my wife grew up being the last to get chosen by any of the guys. She took a geeky bookworm approach to get her through school and six years of college. Femininity is not one of her strong points. |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Aug 16, 2016 17:20:40 GMT -5
That's interesting she's so attentive to her father. Is he demanding in a way that has caused her to mistrust a man's tender romantic efforts? Is she at his beck and call not out of love, but because of conditioning? Maybe there's some clue to her issues in that relationship? Thanks for caring! That's a good guess! Him and I are pees in a pod. He was a "yes dear" while his wife is a manipulative controller, refuser. So the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! My wife even said to me before we were married, " if you find me being anything like my mom, tell me right away". However months ago when I did just that the response is, " don't call me that anymore". She has much control over him too, (especially since he is 84 yrs old) and likes it that way. Like your husband she is also a boss over other men at work. They probably see us and treat us as another employee. Not to go into the " why" too much, but, my wife grew up being the last to get chosen by any of the guys. She took a geeky bookworm approach to get her through school and six years of college. Femininity is not one of her strong points. You're absolutely correct! He does treat me like another of his employees! I get so angry! Through my gritted teeth I tell him to please stop managing me. |
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 16, 2016 18:03:29 GMT -5
Rhapsodee, I wonder if that behavior doesnt reflect a lack of respect. "You're not my peer / partner - you're less capable and need my supervision." In business, this management style is actually a sign of immaturity. Being unable to relinquish control and hold someone else accountable for their results. It doesn't scale well, and it limits career growth.
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Post by Rhapsodee on Aug 16, 2016 18:38:36 GMT -5
Rhapsodee, I wonder if that behavior doesnt reflect a lack of respect. "You're not my peer / partner - you're less capable and need my supervision." In business, this management style is actually a sign of immaturity. Being unable to relinquish control and hold someone else accountable for their results. It doesn't scale well, and it limits career growth. Yes, that may be so. His lack of respect for me was something I didn't know how to overcome. My brain is wired differently from his and I didn't know how to stand up for myself and say "Trust me. I know what I'm doing". I would get angry and he'd convince me to drop the project I wanted to do. It's not as bad as it used to be. Somehow, I gained the confidence to carry on in spite of his unwanted management. As a result, I've gained respect for myself by showing what I can accomplish. We are two different types of people. He plans and designs everything out on paper. I appear to jump into a project with no plan or design. It's all in my head. I have a general idea of what I want to accomplish and where I should start. I don't purchase any materials until I have the area I'm going to work on prepared. Then I do one thing at a time and see how it looks before I proceed to the next step. This way, my projects evolve and become extraordinary. If any part turns out badly, I don't have any problem tearing it all down and starting over. He doesn't understand it, but he now respects my unusual approach and I like to think he has more respect for me. |
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Post by solodriver on Aug 18, 2016 23:44:21 GMT -5
I'm sad for you, cagedtiger. In an attempt to revive my wife's romantic side, I brought out the letters we wrote to each other during our dating years, which I've saved. I have a big box of them. They smell like her perfume at the time. They mean (meant?) quite a lot to me. I suggested we look them over; it'd be fun. I really thought this was going to be a productive move. She called them "cheesy" and "dumb." "I can't stand to hear those; we sound so stupid." "Ugh, I sure was young and stupid back then." "Well, that was back then. You can't possibly expect us to be like that anymore." I was heartbroken. I'm sad when I think about the time period during which we wrote those. I really thought getting back to how we were "back then" was the goal lately, but I guess I "can't possibly expect us to be like that anymore." I understand that pain. My wife had apparently kept all the cards I gave her for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentines. I was utterly shocked and saddened when one day I was going through the garage and I found them in the garbage can. She tried to hide it with something else on top and, for some reason, it caught me eye and when I went to reorganize it I found the cards in the middle of the trash. When I asked what was that all about, she said "they just take up space I need for other things." I felt like I had just been kicked in my groin.
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Post by solodriver on Aug 18, 2016 23:46:44 GMT -5
Apologies for my language. That's more fucks than any of us can cope with! It's OK, it's the only fuck any of us are getting 
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