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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2016 11:41:57 GMT -5
I hope this is the right place for this thread. My spouse and I remember the same event totally differently. (This is not about sex, even though she would say "wasn't it just a couple of months ago"?? When the correct answer is 3 years ago.) Here is the story: I planned a vacation to Disneyland for 3 days with the wife and 12 year old twin daughters. Sort of a family tradition, I  reserved the hotel, made sure everyone was packed, sunscreen, got everyone up to get there when the park opened so we could catch all the good rides early and get Mickey Pancakes for breakfast, the whole 9 yards. Driving up from San Diego, pulled up in San Clemente for a bathroom break for the girls and me. When we got back, the wife was behind the wheel and said she would drive the rest of the way. OK. I am the better driver but we are almost there what can go wrong? Everything is fine and we are 30 seconds from entering the Mickey Parking structure, waiting at a light when I hear a "ding", which is wife's cell. She reaches into her purse and puts the cell in her lap and starts to read the messages. Light stayed red awhile and I was excited looking at Californialand when I notice our car is rolling forward, I turn my head and yell stop!! We rear ended a new Cadillac going maybe 2 miles per hour, whose owner I must say is a total ass. My wife just wanted to exchange numbers, but he called the park police and we were there 45 minutes. I was pissed at my wife but did not say a word, I did not want to start a fight at "The Happiest Place on Earth" or begin the trip in a foul mood! I will leave it at that. But fast forward 5 weeks, and the asshole sent us a bill for $2,500. My wife was livid and of course I said "Maybe that will teach you to never look at your cell phone while you are driving!". Her reply "What are you talking about? I was not looking at my cell phone!" "I was sitting in the seat next to you, your phone dinged and you were reading your messages and not paying attention." Back and forth we argued, and the conversation diminished childishly to "was not", "were too". Our house became the "The Frostiest Place on Earth"! I want to say it was the the only time, but it happens a lot. Does it also happen in your relationship? |
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 11, 2016 14:24:31 GMT -5
Refusers live in their own little reality. Masters of denial. Why should this be any different?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2016 14:42:45 GMT -5
Yes my wife and I frequently had completely different recollections of the same event, sometimes over whether the event even happened. It pretty much can only go one place, "did" "didn't".
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 11, 2016 16:00:43 GMT -5
Yes, yes it does.
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Post by petrushka on Aug 11, 2016 18:11:13 GMT -5
Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Man: I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
M: When?
O: Just now.
M: No you didn't!
O: Yes I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I'm telling you, I did!
M: You did not!
O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
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Post by baza on Aug 11, 2016 18:20:04 GMT -5
I am selectively quoting you here Brother boulderbob -
- "I did not want to start a fight at 'The Happiest Place on Earth'" -
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I think that the refused spouse in an ILIASM shithole knows of this feeling all too well.
There are many variants of it, for example -
"I did not want to start a fight at "Aunty Maudes funeral"
"I did not want to start a fight at "Starbucks"
"I did not want to start a fight at "the mall"
"I did not want to start a fight at "the breakfast table"
"I did not want to start a fight at (insert place or activity of your choice here)
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It all distills down in to - "I did not want to start a fight" full stop.
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That is usually the key role the refused spouse has in an ILIASM shithole.
To not "start a fight".
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If you are going to resolve your deal, then you are going to have to "fight" (though I would prefer to call it a frank exchange of views)
Further, you are going to have to be prepared for all eventualities that might ensue from a frank exchange of views.
Including 'that' eventuality.
In fact particularly 'that' eventuality.
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Post by wewbwb on Aug 11, 2016 18:34:44 GMT -5
I was attacked once by a squirrel. I'm it's bitch. That's a different story(this sort of thing happens to me a lot). Anyway, my wife was NEXT to me when it happened.
I told the story to my friend, in front her, she says "when did this happen?"
I look at her and said "Really? Your husband gets owned like a Bitch, in front of you, and you forget? WTF?"
She say's "I was there?"
"Yes, you helped me clean the fur off my mouth."
"Oh, yeah, I remember something like that."
FML.
She killed a great story.
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Post by unmatched on Aug 11, 2016 18:39:07 GMT -5
I was attacked once by a squirrel. I'm it's bitch. That's a different story(this sort of thing happens to me a lot). Anyway, my wife was NEXT to me when it happened. I told the story to my friend, in front her, she says "when did this happen?" I look at her and said "Really? Your husband gets owned like a Bitch, in front of you, and you forget? WTF?" She say's "I was there?" "Yes, you helped me clean the fur off my mouth." "Oh, yeah, I remember something like that." FML. She killed a great story. Maybe she just doesn't like to think of you with fur around your mouth  |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2016 19:01:17 GMT -5
Thank you, your replies are hilarious! I needed a good laugh!
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Post by wewbwb on Aug 11, 2016 19:55:38 GMT -5
I was attacked once by a squirrel. I'm it's bitch. That's a different story(this sort of thing happens to me a lot). Anyway, my wife was NEXT to me when it happened. I told the story to my friend, in front her, she says "when did this happen?" I look at her and said "Really? Your husband gets owned like a Bitch, in front of you, and you forget? WTF?" She say's "I was there?" "Yes, you helped me clean the fur off my mouth." "Oh, yeah, I remember something like that." FML. She killed a great story. Maybe she just doesn't like to think of you with fur around your mouth I think you're right, way back when, the Fridgeaire would complain if I wanted to keep the lights on. |
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Post by obobfla on Aug 11, 2016 21:36:10 GMT -5
I was about ready to start a thread very similar to this. My wife just got out of the hospital. A week ago, she was up all night vomiting. She was still not able to keep anything down in the morning. She was also very erratic, walking out of the apartment in her underwear. I insisted she call her doctor. She said she was fine. I made the appointment and took off of work. She kept on insisting she was fine.
The doctor took one look at her and told me she had to go to the emergency room. I took her there, despite her insisting she didn't need to go. The staff had to give her Ativan to keep her in the bed. Blood tests revealed dangerously low levels of sodium in her blood. She went to ICU to get her sodium levels up and run more tests. In the meantime, they found fluid in her lungs and a cyst on one of her ovaries.
I stayed home for six days with my son. While we visited her often, my son and I enjoyed our time "batching." I did the laundry the way I wanted. Normally, my wife throws everything together, resulting in all my permanent press clothes getting wrinkled. I was able to do separate loads and hang my shirts and pants. I bought the things I wanted at the store. My son and I relaxed without my wife changing our plans or interrupting us.
My wife got discharged Tuesday and is back home. After being able to relax at home, I am back to a bundle of nerves. I guess it's my turn to go into the hospital.
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Post by unmatched on Aug 11, 2016 22:56:25 GMT -5
I was about ready to start a thread very similar to this. My wife just got out of the hospital. A week ago, she was up all night vomiting. She was still not able to keep anything down in the morning. She was also very erratic, walking out of the apartment in her underwear. I insisted she call her doctor. She said she was fine. I made the appointment and took off of work. She kept on insisting she was fine. The doctor took one look at her and told me she had to go to the emergency room. I took her there, despite her insisting she didn't need to go. The staff had to give her Ativan to keep her in the bed. Blood tests revealed dangerously low levels of sodium in her blood. She went to ICU to get her sodium levels up and run more tests. In the meantime, they found fluid in her lungs and a cyst on one of her ovaries. I stayed home for six days with my son. While we visited her often, my son and I enjoyed our time "batching." I did the laundry the way I wanted. Normally, my wife throws everything together, resulting in all my permanent press clothes getting wrinkled. I was able to do separate loads and hang my shirts and pants. I bought the things I wanted at the store. My son and I relaxed without my wife changing our plans or interrupting us. My wife got discharged Tuesday and is back home. After being able to relax at home, I am back to a bundle of nerves. I guess it's my turn to go into the hospital. Can't you just send her back? It seems like quite a good arrangement |
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Post by obobfla on Aug 11, 2016 23:05:57 GMT -5
Can't you just send her back? It seems like quite a good arrangement Yes, I have thought about it. But it was expensive, and I had to take off work. But it did make me think about being a single parent and work from home. |
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Post by unmatched on Aug 11, 2016 23:14:02 GMT -5
Can't you just send her back? It seems like quite a good arrangement Yes, I have thought about it. But it was expensive, and I had to take off work. But it did make me think about being a single parent and work from home. Yeah it is sad when it seems like it would be simpler and easier to be a single parent. And then you think, Ah but I would miss out on .... what exactly? |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2016 18:35:07 GMT -5
Okay, here is another story that I am sure plenty of people can relate to.
Just last night I spoke to wife about us actually not fighting recently and if we made love would she be agreeable? She said "Well, it is not her fault we have not made love in one year." "Wait" I said, "are you saying it is my fault?" "Yes, the last two times we agreed to have sex you were the one who broke it off!" I was stunned! First, it was 3 years. And second, both times we got into big fights where she escalated the fight and her offer was "it's really late, but go ahead, I'll just lay here!" God that pissed me off! "No thanks, I am sleeping downstairs on the couch!"
I refused 'Starfish' sex (see glossary of terms-hilarious) and she is blaming me for no sex in the relationship!
She did add "I really have absolutely no interest is sex now, zero, I know I won't enjoy it, but if you want, I will try it for you!"
What an incredibly generous offer! How can I possibly refuse?
And I guess next time I bring it up she will say I have been the refuser the last three times!
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reserved the hotel, made sure everyone was packed, sunscreen, got everyone up to get there when the park opened so we could catch all the good rides early and get Mickey Pancakes for breakfast, the whole 9 yards. Driving up from San Diego, pulled up in San Clemente for a bathroom break for the girls and me. When we got back, the wife was behind the wheel and said she would drive the rest of the way. OK. I am the better driver but we are almost there what can go wrong? Everything is fine and we are 30 seconds from entering the Mickey Parking structure, waiting at a light when I hear a "ding", which is wife's cell. She reaches into her purse and puts the cell in her lap and starts to read the messages. Light stayed red awhile and I was excited looking at Californialand when I notice our car is rolling forward, I turn my head and yell stop!! We rear ended a new Cadillac going maybe 2 miles per hour, whose owner I must say is a total ass. My wife just wanted to exchange numbers, but he called the park police and we were there 45 minutes. I was pissed at my wife but did not say a word, I did not want to start a fight at "The Happiest Place on Earth" or begin the trip in a foul mood! I will leave it at that.
