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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 17:08:16 GMT -5
In my case I realized the division of labor was also a problem. My spouse can sleep 12-14 hours a day easily if allowed. To be fair she has depression and anxiety issues. I knew some of this going in but not the full extent. I also missed some warning signs. I.E. I went over to help her paint and two hours into the job went to figure out where she went and found her asleep. We were engaged at the time. I wrote it off has work fatigue and finished the job. Before we had our daughter she could sleep most of the day and it wasn't a huge issue then. It was annoying that we would be late to appointments in the afternoon because she overslept and would be angry if I woke her too early. Thyroid was checked and medication adjusted. A sleep Apnea test is scheduled but only because I forced the issue after years of dealing with it. Since our daughter was born I was typically the one waking up at night to take care of her. My wife had several months off but I was working. I lived on 2-3 hours of sleep and just dealt with it until I finally got upset. I tried to be an understanding husband since I knew she had post partum issues but by the same token it's not going to get any easier for her if I die in a car crash or get sick. A year later I was still the one getting up every morning to take care of the baby and feed her. The two exceptions are days I work Day Shift and basically the baby was averaging a meal at 9 a.m. on the days I had her and sometime after noon when my wife was in charge. At first my wife claimed the baby was sleeping in but acknowledged a few times she either did not hear the baby or did not have the energy to wake up. I believe my daughter figured it out. She refused to poop for my wife. Literally she would go every morning with me. The days my schedule changed from swings to days she would hold it till I got home. I worked OT one day and she literally went over 24 hours without going and went 2 minutes after I picked her up. It was comical since my wife admitted she had not changed a soiled diaper more than 2-3 times in several months. That was strange. I clean the floors. We have dogs and a toddler so it's necessary. I do most of the laundry. I have more hours with the baby (Based on the fact I wake up). It wasn't until I started getting upset that my wife started making an effort to try to get up and help before I went to work at 2 p.m. I also handle all of the yard work and make repairs on what I can. I almost NEVER do the dishes. I do hear the complaining about that one chore and I made sure to fix the dishwasher so the complaints died down. I also do most of the cooking. My wife does make more money than I do and pays more bills than I do. How's she making all this money if she's too depressed to change her baby's diaper? |
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Post by pfviento on Aug 10, 2016 2:47:24 GMT -5
Government work. She got about 3 months off with pay for being "stressed" because someone raised their voice too much to her. In her defense I'm sure she changed it just not quite as frequent. I think the Post Partum depression had a little to do with that. I think the baby got some vibes and just felt more comfortable with me. To be fair the baby was very difficult early on since she had colic (Please don't flame me) or "Gray Crying" if you are enamored with those teachings. Baby could literally scream even being held and there was no rhyme or reason to it that we could discern. We tried every tea and or suggestion given with no success. Basically think Bacon scented candles for crying babies.
Basically a good Union can get you some nice perks. She does have to deal with being on-call and having some long shifts at times. The biggest problem with on-call is basically her sleep. I guess it helps when you marry someone that can do your laundry for you while you sleep. I guess that explains why she married me.
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Post by ggold on Aug 10, 2016 16:12:29 GMT -5
Let see... I do.... All yardwork: mowing, weeding planting, cleaning... All car-work: washing, waxing, vacuuming, oil changes, repairs, Clean the bathrooms, shower, toilets. Wash the floors Dusting window washing appliance cleaning bill paying and all financial paperwork all saving and investing all house repairs/improvements my own laundry pet cleanup wash all pots/pans that require scrubbing She: loads/empties dishwasher grocery shopping her own laundry some pet clean up occasionally wipes down the kitchen makes sure the household meets the federally mandated 6 hrs of television watching a day (law right?) and I work 50 hrs/wk to her 36 hrs.... Funny thing... she got a 2 hr notice that her mom was coming over last night... that got her cleaning for 2 hours! Wow!! I got tired reading what you do!! |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 16:33:06 GMT -5
Let see... I do.... All yardwork: mowing, weeding planting, cleaning... All car-work: washing, waxing, vacuuming, oil changes, repairs, Clean the bathrooms, shower, toilets. Wash the floors Dusting window washing appliance cleaning bill paying and all financial paperwork all saving and investing all house repairs/improvements my own laundry pet cleanup wash all pots/pans that require scrubbing She: loads/empties dishwasher grocery shopping her own laundry some pet clean up occasionally wipes down the kitchen makes sure the household meets the federally mandated 6 hrs of television watching a day (law right?) and I work 50 hrs/wk to her 36 hrs.... Funny thing... she got a 2 hr notice that her mom was coming over last night... that got her cleaning for 2 hours! Wow!! I got tired reading what you do!! Maybe that why I am tired so much.... having to actually do it all....ugghhh....(not that I need to save energy for sex anyway...) |
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Post by ggold on Aug 10, 2016 19:26:26 GMT -5
@roch649. Idk....for some strange reason I feel you do have some energy left for some activities!! No?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 20:15:17 GMT -5
@roch649. Idk....for some strange reason I feel you do have some energy left for some activities!! No? Yeah....posting on these boards too many hours....it's hard keeping up the Rochie mystique.... |
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Post by ggold on Aug 10, 2016 21:01:58 GMT -5
@roch649 . Idk....for some strange reason I feel you do have some energy left for some activities!! No? Yeah....posting on these boards too many hours....it's hard keeping up the Rochie mystique.... Hmmmm....I believe you have energy not only for posting on these boards but for ........................ as well......wink! |
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Post by sand5280 on Aug 12, 2016 2:39:48 GMT -5
I am among those who are content with duties. Random items: Inside the house thankfully neither of us cares that it is a perpetual construction mess. She cuts the grass, which she loves to do, I'll never understand. But I have to cut the big wilderness part of it, as I made the dimwitted mistake of telling her to watch out for the snakes, now she won't go in there. I'll never know why I let this slip out.
Removal of dog poop log cabins, one has the bag, other has the scoop. Dog is responsible for 100 percent of all log cabin building.
Trash is mine. I pay for all groceries and such, she does all the cooking, I have no business in the kitchen. Very often I will without thinking about it, offer a compliment on the meal. This works because she is finally recovering from the previous marriage, with a complaint about every single dinner for 17 years. Where do these guys come from?
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 12, 2016 3:44:43 GMT -5
I am among those who are content with duties. Random items: Inside the house thankfully neither of us cares that it is a perpetual construction mess. She cuts the grass, which she loves to do, I'll never understand. But I have to cut the big wilderness part of it, as I made the dimwitted mistake of telling her to watch out for the snakes, now she won't go in there. I'll never know why I let this slip out. Removal of dog poop log cabins, one has the bag, other has the scoop. Dog is responsible for 100 percent of all log cabin building. Trash is mine. I pay for all groceries and such, she does all the cooking, I have no business in the kitchen. Very often I will without thinking about it, offer a compliment on the meal. This works because she is finally recovering from the previous marriage, with a complaint about every single dinner for 17 years. Where do these guys come from? Pmsl!! Log cabins 😂 I remember my dog when I was a kid managing to drop a single log in the garden which by some universal twist landed on its end and stayed upright... With a slightly jaunty angle I might add. My sisters and I named it "the leaning tower of Poosa" and kept it there for entertainment until the rain took it down. Funny memory! X |
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Post by solodriver on Aug 13, 2016 13:26:42 GMT -5
I do it all. The wife won't do any of it and the only reason I do all of it is so the house doesn't get in too disgusting a shape. I clean the bathrooms, vacuum, wash the dishes etc.
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