|
Post by johnwyo1 on Oct 15, 2017 12:22:47 GMT -5
My birthday was the 12, and per usual I don't expect anything. I waited, and waited, then after dinner I realized nothing was going to happen. So as I was going to bed(we don't sleep in the same room) I said good night I love you even though you're a jerk, she looked at me awkwardly, I said look at your phone, nothing, then I asked her the date, she said it, then light bulb, you forgot my birthday. I really wouldn't have cared but she's been talking about Christmas, our daughters bday which is in November, Halloween, and all this was in September. So I think to myself Halloween is more important to her than I am. I wonder if she'll ever understand that in like 4-5 years our youngest will be 8, the oldest gone and the middle driving, what then, does she expect me to continue to be the least important thing in her life. I was going to post a thread on this the other day and didn't get around to it,I'm glad you beat me to the punch. I have stopped all physical contact and pleads for intamacy, I tired of a simple conversation about how I don't think I should ask for sex every day and get a unenthusiastic quicky every month, turn into tears and how bad I am and if I did this or that, I'm not the problem. I'm young, in shape, my junk works, I'm handsome from what women tell me, it should be a no brainier, we have money, my income is 70 a year, big house, three cars, we eat good kids go to a good school, like a fucking dream, how many women would jump at the opportunity of that level of security. Instead I get nit picked, we'd have more sex but remember that one time 7 years ago when you said this, no I don't, because I was 25, I made mistakes and I've changed, and I feel like I did my time. Fuck this sucks. Bad thing is if she does change this period of time will always be here,and if she doesn't then it'll affect any future opportunities, ruining relationship for me. Relationships= pain and suffering. I'm sorry you hurt so much from your wife not giving your needs and your birthday the recognition you deserve. I've been there and it's very difficult. I hope and pray you will find a way through this with her.
|
|
|
Post by johnwyo1 on Sept 1, 2017 14:19:47 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing a hopeful message flashJohn.
|
|
|
Post by johnwyo1 on Aug 31, 2017 8:41:52 GMT -5
Turned 33 yesterday. All I got was a card full of flowery words about how much she loves me. Later I got an unenthusiastic attempt at a hand job that was unsuccessful in bringing me to the finish. 45 minutes of hand motions that were so mundane that I couldn't get there. Her bored sighs and eye rolling also made it difficult to keep the mood. Happy birthday to me... I'm so sorry you have had a disappointing birthday. My wife has not been enthusiastic or giving on my birthday for quite a few years. The cards they give us sure can be a disconnect between the words and the subsequent actions. Since she went through menopause, she's rarely wanted any sex. My last birthday was similar to yours. We were on a mini vacation with friends and after she drank a lot all night, she acted line she wanted sex. I think it was partly to show off in front of her girlfriends. Nevertheless, I was feeling hopeful since it was my birthday. By the time we got to our hotel room, she was sloppy drunk but was kissing me and roughly rubbing my crotch. I initiated sex and through oral and then intercourse and manual stimulation, she had two orgasms in about 10 minutes. Basically, she just lay there and received like she usually does. But, we're still connected in intercourse and I've not finished, and she passed out or fell asleep. I couldn't continue. I really couldn't. I ended up moving to the other bed and tried to fall asleep with the arousal still there. So, I get your frustration. Birthdays ought to be better.
|
|
|
Post by johnwyo1 on Feb 26, 2017 14:02:41 GMT -5
For me, it is my love for my saviour, Jesus Christ, who gave his life for me that makes me want to be a better person. Out of my love and appreciation to God, I choose to understand and follow His will for my life. As my Creator, he knows what the original purpose and context that he designed and intended for sex. Following that purpose and plan is sometimes a sacrifice, yes, but not following it is actually damaging to me and whomever I use for satisfying my sexual human nature. I am always striving to love other people better, to love like he loves. If I have sex outside of God's will, purpose, and context then I am not being loving and instead am causing damage. No more would I want to hurt another person by eating because I'm hungry than by satisfying my need to orgasm. It's not about giving up sex. I'm keeping hope for having it in an appropriate context, which is really best for me in the end. I have outlets for the merely physical, but I also crave the spiritual side and pray for it I like your post. How long have you been married and how long have you been keeping hope? At some point hunger will harm you gravely though. Hopefully she is preparing a feast in the near future. Thanks for your reply. My wife and I have been married ten years. I hope that the hunger doesn't hurt me. Did you mean physically because of no release? I hope for a feast with my wife. I'm grateful for even a little fast food from her on the rare occasion. 😋
|
|
|
Post by johnwyo1 on Feb 22, 2017 14:53:22 GMT -5
For me, it is my love for my saviour, Jesus Christ, who gave his life for me that makes me want to be a better person. Out of my love and appreciation to God, I choose to understand and follow His will for my life. As my Creator, he knows what the original purpose and context that he designed and intended for sex. Following that purpose and plan is sometimes a sacrifice, yes, but not following it is actually damaging to me and whomever I use for satisfying my sexual human nature.
I am always striving to love other people better, to love like he loves. If I have sex outside of God's will, purpose, and context then I am not being loving and instead am causing damage. No more would I want to hurt another person by eating because I'm hungry than by satisfying my need to orgasm.
It's not about giving up sex. I'm keeping hope for having it in an appropriate context, which is really best for me in the end. I have outlets for the merely physical, but I also crave the spiritual side and pray for it
|
|
|
Post by johnwyo1 on Jan 25, 2017 10:45:18 GMT -5
My wife will often compliment the female in the scene on specifics of her anatomy (I don't dare), but in a kind of tone like it's as casual as ordering food at the drive-through. My wife comments like that on male and female anatomy and looks, too. I don't dare, just like you wrote. It's also pretty emotionless when my wife comments except when she doesn't like the female actor and therefore is mean or critical.
|
|
|
Post by johnwyo1 on Jan 24, 2017 14:46:10 GMT -5
We usually watched harmless things like 'escape to the country'. But occasionally we watched movies. Sex scenes caused heavy silence, holding breaths and not dearing to move till it was over. I tried to pretend being relaxed about it but not very convincing. It can be very hard to pretend that the scenes don't have an emotional or even physical effect. Heavy sex scenes especially
|
|
|
Post by johnwyo1 on Jan 24, 2017 12:51:22 GMT -5
I'm pretty much there with the original post, nothing going on between my wife and I except weak kisses and hugs. I stopped initiating even those exce8when she asks. Because of humiliating comments and anger the last time I tried initiating sex, I gave up on that. And because I'm the only one giving kisses or hugs, I'm quitting initiating those. If I'm condemned to a one sided effort, I'll choose to just do for myself alone. Outside of affection and sex, she's the same...all for her. So, we're living the roommates thing, too.
|
|
|
Post by johnwyo1 on Jan 24, 2017 12:29:52 GMT -5
This is a great question. My wife will sometimes watch sexual scenes and I don't say a thing. It's most often in a show she picks, like Game of Thrones. She comments at times, sometimes positive things about how hot the guy is, or how we should try it. But then she refuses later. The messages are mixed and confusing. If I chose a sexy show, she'd get accusatory and mad.
|
|