|
Post by DryCreek on Feb 22, 2019 10:49:21 GMT -5
lessingham, stats are, of course, just a point of reference. But they’re also a damn good gauge for where you stand. What strikes me is that if the average for my age bracket is, say, 100x a year, well... that’s average. Do you consider yourself to have an above-average sex drive? Personally, I’d like to be on the side of pulling the statistics up, not down. And we all know people who aren’t getting any, so that means a lot of people are getting way more than the average. Suddenly, the target seems like it should be a lot higher. Now, if you take that figure times 30 years, minus your actual volume, you start to get numbers in the 1000’s. That’s a lot of missed intimacy, even if only a fraction of them count as toe-curling. It’s a good reason to nip it early.
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Feb 22, 2019 12:27:41 GMT -5
You have to look at the means, median and mode if you want a more accurate picture when it comes to statistics.
I am guessing that requires more data than is commonly generated or available on ILIASM samples, when compared to the greater population.
If we had the numbers from several thousand of ILIASM type of relationships and compare that to couples consider high frequency sex relationships and average sexual frequency couples, I am certain the means, median and mode graphs would be very telling.
|
|
|
Statistics
Feb 22, 2019 17:13:37 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by lessingham on Feb 22, 2019 17:13:37 GMT -5
Uff, now I will have to drag out my stats books so as to work out when the mean, nedian and mode should be used, something to do eith the data distribution? 3am suddenly got interesting.
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Feb 22, 2019 17:41:32 GMT -5
The mean, medians, etc. don't matter. What matters is whether you feel your needs are being met. If they aren't being met -- in your opinion -- is it worth it to you to divorce our outsource? Those are the things that matter, not whether you're having more or less sex than are other people.
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Feb 23, 2019 0:35:10 GMT -5
Northstarmom The mean, medians, etc. don't matter. What matters is whether you feel your needs are being met. If they aren't being met -- in your opinion -- is it worth it to you to divorce our outsource? Bingo, the lady wins the prize.
But people still want to know how their life compares to others.
|
|
|
Post by mescaline on Feb 23, 2019 4:14:51 GMT -5
But if your needs aren't being met, then stats provide a useful guide on whether they are likely to be met by another partner. I would argue they are useful in this respect.
For example, my stats at the moment are sex once or twice a year. If I had no knowledge on what normal is, I could assume this was normal, and therefore my choice of future partner would be very limited.
Having the knowledge that lots of other relationships have more frequent sex lives means that risk is far lower. Knowledge is power in this respect.
|
|
|
Post by mescaline on Feb 23, 2019 4:15:50 GMT -5
Always useful to be aware that "comparison is the thief of joy" though.
|
|
|
Post by lessingham on Feb 23, 2019 4:56:58 GMT -5
It is true, in the end it all comes down to the simple question, "what are you going to do about it?" Gnawing away at dry statistics ain't going to do it
|
|
|
Post by angeleyes65 on Feb 23, 2019 13:53:38 GMT -5
I don't really care about statistics. I think a normal amount of sex is whatever both people are happy with. Everyone's sex drive is different some couples can both be perfectly happy with sex twice a month where I would consider that a drought. I think it's more important that if the two peoples sex drive are different that you compromise. And give plenty of affection and intimacy besides sex to keep the relationship thriving. As people often say here while this is called living in a sexless marriage there is much more than just the sex at the heart of it. It's more that they don't care what the other person needs / wants. And that they don't want to be physically close.
|
|
|
Post by workingonit on Feb 23, 2019 18:21:17 GMT -5
Stats mean nothing to me as I am quite clear that SOME sex and intimacy is normal and healthy and we have none. I do not need stats to know that my situation is painful, unsatisfying, and not normal.
|
|
|
Post by lessingham on Feb 25, 2019 4:27:39 GMT -5
They also help define unreasonableness on my part. If 25% of women will not do oral to completion, hercrefusal is not that bad. If 85% of woman love cunnilingus, her refusal is atypical.
|
|
|
Statistics
Feb 26, 2019 13:52:02 GMT -5
via mobile
h likes this
Post by carl on Feb 26, 2019 13:52:02 GMT -5
Maybe the refuser counts a refusal as sex and so sees the marriage as sex filled? My wife has complained bitterly recently that I have stopped asking (more like begging) her for sex. She has seldom ever initiated sex with me and in the past when she had the chance refused me 99 percent of the time. I am coming to terms with her understanding of a relationship and sex but sometimes I don’t dare think about it.
|
|
|
Post by csl on Feb 26, 2019 13:53:59 GMT -5
Maybe the refuser counts a refusal as sex and so sees the marriage as sex filled? My wife has complained bitterly recently that I have stopped asking (more like begging) her for sex. Why? If she refuses to have sex, why does she care if you don't ask for sex?
|
|
|
Post by carl on Feb 26, 2019 14:07:25 GMT -5
My wife has complained bitterly recently that I have stopped asking (more like begging) her for sex. Why? If she refuses to have sex, why does she care if you don't ask for sex? Pride, power....Came on so gradually I didn’t notice my life being controlled. Since I have removed the sex from our relationship completely she has never been able to run me down or walk over me. She has no wild card to dominate every situation and her reign is crumbling. I am a new man.
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Feb 26, 2019 18:26:36 GMT -5
Why? If she refuses to have sex, why does she care if you don't ask for sex? Pride, power....Came on so gradually I didn’t notice my life being controlled. Since I have removed the sex from our relationship completely she has never been able to run me down or walk over me. She has no wild card to dominate every situation and her reign is crumbling. I am a new man. As I stopped begging the dynamic in my marriage changed as well. She was never cross with me for no longer asking (begging). I think she had thought I had finally been fully and properly trained. You should have seen the "oh shit I totally fucked up" look on her face when I told her I was divorcing her. I believe it was at that moment I truly broke free and became my own man. As it turns out, I really like it.
|
|