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Post by northstarmom on Dec 21, 2017 7:39:55 GMT -5
“It's even more fun when you realize that guests have had more sex in your house than you have. And it's really depressing when you also realize that one of those people is your 78yr old FIL and his girlfriend. My roomie is either oblivious to it or is in complete denial.”
She cares no more about such things than she cares whether other people have cornflakes for breakfast. She has the life she wants. It’s not her who is missing a big piece of what she wants of life.
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Post by brian on Dec 21, 2017 7:47:33 GMT -5
“It's even more fun when you realize that guests have had more sex in your house than you have. And it's really depressing when you also realize that one of those people is your 78yr old FIL and his girlfriend. My roomie is either oblivious to it or is in complete denial.” She cares no more about such things than she cares whether other people have cornflakes for breakfast. She has the life she wants. It’s not her who is missing a big piece of what she wants of life. So very true, but she gets a bit grossed out knowing even a little about what our teenage boys are doing with their girlfriends. But that's a different topic altogether.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2017 13:23:37 GMT -5
Thank you for the post Caris. This is going to be my first Christmas after I broke the rose colored glasses. Till this I have tried to convince myself that I’d rather a man who would help me with chores and paying bills even if he doesn’t want to have sex with me... this year I found out that I can’t live the marriage lie anymore, and the lack of sex and intimacy is making me feel terrible about my self-esteem. The things you wrote started to happen, and unfortunately I’m allowing the poison to influence my acts. After reading your post I will try my best to appreciate his effort to buy me something nice. He isn’t a bad person at all. He is a wonderful man, just don’t realized yet he doesn’t love me enough to have intimacy with me. We aren’t sexually compatible.
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Post by shamwow on Dec 22, 2017 6:50:54 GMT -5
My H hasn't bought me a Christmas or birthday present (or Valentine's Day or Anniversary) in over 12 years. God, and I thought I had a recessive shopping gene. My wife always took care of the Christmas gifts but I always took the kids and got her gift. That seems to be a pretty normal "guy" experience. Now that my wife has earned the title "ex", I am responsible for getting gifts for everyone. It turns out I kind of like it. Oh yeah, I also took the kids out to get her her birthday (it's on December 15) and Christmas gifts as per our custom. Tis the season and all.... 😊
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Post by shamwow on Dec 22, 2017 6:57:50 GMT -5
It's even more fun when you realize that guests have had more sex in your house than you have. And it's really depressing when you also realize that one of those people is your 78yr old FIL and his girlfriend. My roomie is either oblivious to it or is in complete denial. This makes me think about the day when , the weddings happen and all the grandchildren start arriving. How depressing it would have been to look over at my W. and know how many decades it has been without intimacy or sex. Instead I will be the 58 yr old in the room who's been having just as much sex. I will be the one showing up with my girlfriend! While my ex will be leaving early with her other man, her 91 yr old daddy in a wheelchair. The last wedding I went to featured the pastor doing a reading (at the bride's request) from the book of Revelations. I'm pretty sure she was a delight in the sack. I wanted to stand up when they asked if anyone had any objections and yell to him "Run you damn fool... Run!". You know, just like Gandalf in the first lord of the rings movie when he turned to stand off against the demon so the others could escape. Or perhaps I simply have an overactive imagination.
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Post by recycled on Dec 22, 2017 23:32:58 GMT -5
As someone who used to attend a very end times focused church with her father and many weddings there, I have to say that I never encountered this. Poor guy.... The last wedding I went to featured the pastor doing a reading (at the bride's request) from the book of Revelations.
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Post by ironhamster on Dec 23, 2017 1:09:01 GMT -5
Weddings. As a young married couple, I always offered the same advice to each new couple as to how to have a happy marriage. It always ended with, "...have sex a lot." My refusing wife was fully aware of this, and I don't think she ever took it as anything more than a joke.
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Post by mescaline on Dec 24, 2017 11:26:39 GMT -5
Very wise words Caris, I try to live up to this ideal. I'll be rereading your post everyday over the holidays. Thank you.
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Post by takestwototango on Dec 25, 2017 19:52:25 GMT -5
I am working on this. But some days it is so hard!!
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Post by solodriver on Dec 25, 2017 20:36:39 GMT -5
My H hasn't bought me a Christmas or birthday present (or Valentine's Day or Anniversary) in over 12 years. Same here, 10 years since I received any gifts on any special occasion, and today was the same.
Oh well, Merry Christmas everyone
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Post by Caris on Dec 25, 2017 21:49:51 GMT -5
I am working on this. But some days it is so hard!! It is extremely hard, and don’t beat yourself up about it, if you can’t do it. We need kindness and compassion for ourselves too. We are only human, and not machines. Blessings and hugs.
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Post by solodriver on Dec 25, 2017 23:02:21 GMT -5
"What I want can't be bought in a store. It's supposed to be FREE!"
AMEN!
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Post by solodriver on Dec 25, 2017 23:43:44 GMT -5
Can you imagine if each of us had someone we could share our love and affection for today, how much love there would be for Christmas?
Sleeping in heavenly peace
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