I've been away a while sorting my self out.
I'm feeling the urge to share with you all here where I'm at inside me at the moment.
I have zero chance of catching up with what y'all have been getting up to in my absence, so I may be a bit clueless just now. Apologies for that.
I hope everyone is well and taking positive steps for themselves.
And hello to the new members of our tribe ✌️
You are in a place that can start you on the road to wherever you want to go in your life!
I did hear about the hurricanes though.... how are all my east coast friends? I really hope there has been a silver lining to that hurricane for you all.
So. I am in such a period of change. Like huge life changing life changes!!
And it started here
With about 5 weeks left under the same roof with the man who made 2 wonderful humans with me, but has dragged me along, not entirely blamelessly, through the longest, hardest learning experience I have ever had, my mood is one of excitement.
I have changed. A lot. I feel like I have woken up from a sort of nightmare. The curtain has been lifted from the miserable repressed controlled manipulated so called life I have been leading for 4 and a bit decades to reveal a new hope and the prospect of a very different future for me and my children.
Ive been getting to know me. My wants, needs, desires, my likes, dislikes, beliefs and boundaries. I have challenged and questioned myself big time. Without mercy.
I have come a short way in the context of what will be a whole life journey and learning experience, but bloody hell, I've made a brilliant start.
I feel and see differences in myself. My self worth in particular. Also my understanding and compassion for others, which has always been high, has gone through the roof. But as I also know about my boundaries now too I'm gonna be hard to take advantage of.
The boundaries have been my sticking point.
I never knew they existed.
I never new I was supposed to have them.
Thats a huge part of why I ended up in this relationship I think.
Anyway. I've begun a spiritual path. A healing journey of expansion.
Once we are out of this house I'm going to start going to local groups where people are on their own spiritual journeys too. I need the company of people who get it. I'm surrounded by people who are unconscious and don't seem to be aware of anything but the "sociatal rules". Full of judgement and far too atttached to being right.
I'm wiping my slate clean and starting life again from the building blocks of its foundations all the way up.
I'm pretty far from even considering another relationship. I've so much more healing and growing to do before I can even consider taking on any kind of serious bond.
Don't worry though, I'm not saying there won't be any sex.... He he.
I'll see what comes along in that respect. I have all sorts to try out lol!
And if I never find a partner who it's worth being super connected to emotionally for any length of time, well, so be it.
Micro relationships can have many benefits
This girl has a big ass list of deal breakers and she has boundaries too.
Fuck me its gonna take one hell of a man for me to get serious again.
And I'm happy with that 🤗🙏
Love to you all.
EO xx