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Post by ironhamster on Sept 23, 2017 20:06:15 GMT -5
eternaloptimism , My congratulations for moving forward and my best wishes for your future. I think you are on the right path for happiness.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Sept 24, 2017 5:05:16 GMT -5
eternaloptimism , My congratulations for moving forward and my best wishes for your future. I think you are on the right path for happiness. Thanks IH. It certainly feels like it xx
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Post by eternaloptimism on Sept 24, 2017 5:07:13 GMT -5
eternaloptimism I wish you all the best and I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. Enjoy your freedom and your new life! Hugs xoxo Thanks Beeb Isn't it strange how things fall into place. After years and years of fighting and resisting these crap situations. You just have to let go. It feels fabulous xxx
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Post by McRoomMate on Sept 24, 2017 5:27:16 GMT -5
Very wonderful to read your update. Congratulations and welcome back !!!
I really liked your point about "micro-relationships" I can tell you I hit the Tinder/Match/Badoo circuit pretty heavy and probably went on about 20 to 30 dates with different women I met. About 90% of them was just to meet different women - I did not lie my way into bed or anything like that. A few of them got physical and a little emotional but there was not the "chemistry" there. I learned a lot about myself and especially from hearing all their stories.
Happy hunting !!!
And more importantly - let me hear your wise words on working on yourself. I actually have been seeing a psychotherapist for a month now and it is really helping digging under the surface of what makes me tick.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Sept 24, 2017 9:49:35 GMT -5
Ha ha roomie... I am VERY much looking forwards to the hunt.
In my previous episodes, the hunt has always been the most fun part of relationships! hopefully it'll still be fun but if I ever allow myself a main event again it had better be even better!
I'm a little envious that you are seeing a real human one to one to get some help, I've not been able to do that financially while he is still here hence why I've gone ape shit on the self help lol!
My favourites who have got me where I am just now:
Paul Colaianni with The Overwhelmed Brain Very down to earth practical advice. Has podcasts and a website and puts his podcasts on YouTube too. I got to the bottom of so much of my shit thanks to him!
Eckhart Tolle He has a book that I listened to on audio books, he narrates himself. The Power of Now. Such a calming and soothing influence. Some may find him a bit dull to listen to imagine. But I'm not listening to him for excitement!
Teal Swan A young American lady. Was born with clairvoyant abilities amongst others. Her science based parents couldn't handle her. They let a friend take her under his wing who said he could help. Turned out to be a satan worshipper and she was abused beyond believe. She is a controversial figure... with many people disbelieving her and labelling her as a narcissistic cult leader.
I think she's amazing. She has a few books out and a lot of videos on you tube.
The first time I listened to her it was totally woo woo and above my head. But I understand her now.
I think everyone's journey to healing is going to be different and what suits me might not suit other people.
I say if it works for you do more of it.
If not, keep looking until you find something that does work for you.
Good luck with your shrink.
I'm going to see one when I'm away from him.
Xx
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 25, 2017 13:18:21 GMT -5
eternaloptimism...sounds like you are in a good place at the moment. Thanks for keeping us posted and keep spreading this good vibes!!!
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Post by Caris on Sept 25, 2017 13:48:57 GMT -5
One of my favourite posts from EP was about how important your emotions are as a way of navigating your way through life. You can't turn them off or turn them down without losing touch with who you are and what you need and what is important to you. This is a bit of it: The rest of it is more about the effects of staying in a bad situation and ignoring your own feelings - you can read it here iliasm.org/thread/49/consequences-enduringThank you for reposting this. It's spot on regarding emotions being indicators to our reality. Sometimes our emotions can be out of whack due to misinterpretation of a situation, which makes us highly sensitive, but generally emotions are messengers and reflections of how life is for us. I am lonely, not because I'm alone, but because I have no deep connections or intimacy with another person. Not counting my children here. That's an entirely different relationship.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 11, 2017 10:52:17 GMT -5
Hello my lovely ILIASM gang.
I hope we are all moving in positive directions and not allowing our refusers to keep us down!
So, yep, finally......
IM FUCKING FREE !!!!!!!
I’ll say that again because it feels so fucking marvellous
IM FREEEEEEEEEEE
Cant quite believe it. Someone pinch me.
I’m out.
I’m in with Mother... but that’s only temporary.
It’s been a hell of a lot of hard work, and as anticipated I’m getting fuck all from him towards the kids and he’s pestering me for money but hey, I get to say no!
I’ll fill you in on details if anyone is interested, but holy crap I feel gooood.
Life is on the up boys and girls.
I hope I can spread some good Ju Ju to those who need some.
Love you guys xxxxx
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 11, 2017 10:54:09 GMT -5
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Post by DryCreek on Nov 11, 2017 10:59:00 GMT -5
Woo hoo!!! eternaloptimism, I've been eagerly awaiting your report, then forgot when the date finally rolled around. This has been a painfully long time in coming - I'm happy for you that you've made the break. It will be interesting to see how he copes as an adult with responsibilities, and whether he makes an effort to still be a father to his kids.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 11, 2017 11:04:04 GMT -5
Woo hoo!!! eternaloptimism , I've been eagerly awaiting your report, then forgot when the date finally rolled around. This has been a painfully long time in coming - I'm happy for you that you've made the break. It will be interesting to see how he copes as an adult with responsibilities, and whether he makes an effort to still be a father to his kids. Halloween was the big day DC. Literally the ONLY emotionally difficult bit for me was watching the devastation the little one went through as he was actually leaving. My friends and colleagues keep saying they’re expecting me to have a bit of a breakdown about it all at some point. Personally? I doubt it. With all the advise and conversations I’ve had here and all the personal growth I’ve been doing I absolutely know I have done the right thing. And dont have a single regret. I did all my grieving while i was I was still in the relationship. Im well over the hump he he
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 11, 2017 11:05:19 GMT -5
He’s on his mums couch without a job currently.
Probably stay like that until he finds someone else to take care of him.
He has that little boy lost charm that some poor “fixer” out there is highly likely to fall for.
I hope I’m wrong 😬
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Post by DryCreek on Nov 11, 2017 11:24:55 GMT -5
He has that little boy lost charm that some poor “fixer” out there is highly likely to fall for. I hope I’m wrong 😬 Repeat after me... "Not my fucking problem!" Oh, and this is for later:
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Post by misssunnybunny on Nov 11, 2017 12:19:14 GMT -5
Hooray EO!!! So happy for you!
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Post by hopingforachange on Nov 11, 2017 12:25:29 GMT -5
eternaloptimismIf you feel like you're going to have a break down, let it happen. Don't think of it as being weak, think of it as honoring your feelings and embrace that your thinking of yourself and not running right back to the messed up situation.
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