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Post by eternaloptimism on Dec 13, 2016 11:51:47 GMT -5
so I've been saying forever that I need therapy.
Took step one yesterday (bows to the room)
I had my appointment with the doctor to ask to be referred.
Bless him, he was a temp and I was the first patient on his first day. I was brief, to the point and shed zero tears...poor lad didn't need that on his first day!
I explained about frustrated I am at my own lack of assertiveness and that I understand a bit about why I'm like this. I explained I've read a lot and feel I need help to stop allowing myself to doormat-ised (yes its a new word)
He made me fill out a questionnaire about how I feel and how often.
He he told me I scored high...I was about to congratulate myself (I like doing well on tests) but then he said that's not a good thing and that he thought I should take some pills as well as go to therapy.
I reluctantly agreed. I don't want to be zombified. He explained they'll help me to be less anxious about the situation and will also help me sleep (you may see me popping up on here at odd hours ha ha)
took first pill last night. Still woke multiple times in the night and feel effing shagged (without the pleasure of it of course) today. But that's ok, I'm off to my little ones Christmas Carol Concert in church shortly...perfect opportunity to nap.
The pills should be at optimum levels in 2 weeks...so happy Christmas to me he he.
I have to wait for a telephone screening call in the week between xmas and new year where they'll probe my grey matter in order to send me to the right head doctor. Good luck to them with that ha ha.
And while I was there, I had my "let's check your cervix for cancer" test. Bloody efficient I am! Anyway, it's the only probing my girls bits have seen for a while!
So I feel quite positive. The ball is rolling. Now let's see where to!
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Post by wewbwb on Dec 13, 2016 12:21:35 GMT -5
Therapy is a good thing, with a good therapist. One who can "speak your language" - HOWEVER - the single most important thing a good therapist can do is give you "tools" (Get your mind out of the gutter -I'm being serious here. ) Idea's and ways to handle and cope with the things that arise everyday. (Seriously - stay focused.)
You've taken a great first step.
I look forward to you freeing the shining, vibrant, strong person you are.
It will be a great thing to see.
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 13, 2016 12:29:56 GMT -5
That's a great first step! Congrats!! Xoxo
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 13, 2016 13:22:46 GMT -5
Great news! I'd also recommend you start keeping a journal, writing down what you're thinking and feeling as it comes to you. It'll be interesting to look back on and see how your thoughts and emotions are evolving over time.
Pulling for you!
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 13, 2016 14:31:04 GMT -5
eternaloptimism - this is GREAT news - and it's kind of "good" to score well (high) on the test so that no one will drag feet getting you to someone. A good therapist doesn't tell us what they think we should do. You will need to be blunt to bring them up to speed on your situation and how much soul-searching you have already done. Don't let the therapist doormat-ise you, I mean. (It IS a verb, can be an adjective, and did start out as a great noun) I am so very happy for you taking care of yourself and your needs. Journals help! Both in the moment and later on as review. I'm really proud of you, you self-care angel!
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 13, 2016 15:07:30 GMT -5
Bring your Ipad with you and read your posts from here. That's your journaling.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 13, 2016 15:08:25 GMT -5
Bring your Ipad with you and read your posts from here. That's your journaling. Especially the time when you where about to move out and live with your mom again.
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Post by baza on Dec 13, 2016 16:16:31 GMT -5
Well done Sister EO. This may be the start of something BIG, particularly as you pick up momentum.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2016 19:30:49 GMT -5
EO, I am worried about the pills. What are they? I have a lot of experience with psych meds, mostly giving them. Anti depressants cause more trouble in the long run. Anti anxiety meds can be a trap.
Therapy, on the other hand, has much less side effects. Bravo! Hope the therapy goes well. It has done shit for wife and , but it can be helpful.
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Post by unmatched on Dec 13, 2016 19:58:35 GMT -5
eternaloptimism I am also worried about the pills. If you are scoring high on an anxiety or depression scale it is because your mind is in overdrive and making you feel anxious or depressed. There is a very good reason for that! It is a healthy response to a very unhealthy situation!!!! Don't dull your brain because it is doing what it is supposed to do. I have never taken any personally, but the people I know who have talk about feeling vaguely flatlined all the time. That is so not you!!! You are such a wonderful, vibrant person and chemically castrating your brain would be a crime. Definitely do the therapy, but do you really want to start something that could have a long term effect on your psyche and might be very difficult to stop, based on a 15 minute chat with a locum GP? I am pretty sure growing your testicles, and getting back into your yoga, and growing yourself, and finally dumping your dipshit loser boyfriend is going to have a much bigger impact on your mental health than the pills are anyway.
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 13, 2016 20:17:56 GMT -5
I agree 100% with unmatched It will take away the lows but it also takes away the highs. I've never taken meds but there was a time I was extremely depressed and I sought other methods and outlets to find my happiness. I was literally trying to find happiness through lots of tears but tears are ok because they are a symptom of an emotion and emotions are important. Emotions also change they are temporary and while we may be sad in the morning later in the day something can happen that brings us so much joy. Don't pass on the joy! Xoxo
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Post by unmatched on Dec 13, 2016 20:26:45 GMT -5
One of my favourite posts from EP was about how important your emotions are as a way of navigating your way through life. You can't turn them off or turn them down without losing touch with who you are and what you need and what is important to you. This is a bit of it: The rest of it is more about the effects of staying in a bad situation and ignoring your own feelings - you can read it here iliasm.org/thread/49/consequences-enduring
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 13, 2016 21:01:24 GMT -5
I agree 100% with unmatched It will take away the lows but it also takes away the highs. I've never taken meds but there was a time I was extremely depressed and I sought other methods and outlets to find my happiness. I was literally trying to find happiness through lots of tears but tears are ok because they are a symptom of an emotion and emotions are important. Emotions also change they are temporary and while we may be sad in the morning later in the day something can happen that brings us so much joy. Don't pass on the joy! Xoxo +1. This is part of why I recommended keeping a journal- it'll also allow you to track your emotions, if you start noticing any changes or shifts in how you feel or perceive things.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 13, 2016 21:47:21 GMT -5
I have journaled extensively for many years and have found it to be very beneficial in my life.
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Post by obobfla on Dec 13, 2016 21:47:36 GMT -5
eternaloptimism, as someone who has taken such meds and lived with someone who takes the strong stuff, I can give you my two cents. Yes, there will be some side effects, particularly in the libido department. It will either dim your desire or retard your ability to orgasm. But it will not totally block it. The only anti-depressant that doesn't is Welbutrin, which I doubt you have been prescribed. Welbutrin is not good for anxiety. Also, the drugs take 45 days to work properly, so give them at least six weeks. If after that time you notice strange side effects or no improvement, talk to your doctor. Pills work differently on people with the same symptons. Be careful if you stop taking them, as withdrawal can give you a headache. However, if you do have sexual side effects, you can skip a day and see if the situation improves. There is a chance that you may not need the drugs, but that is between you and your doctor. The medical system on your side of the pond is very different than ours in the States. I'm not sure if you have all the choices we have here, but then again your medicine is probably much cheaper. Sometimes diet and exercise do the trick. Animals help me. But the best thing for me when I am depressed are the endorphins I get from a good lay!
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