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Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 14, 2019 8:39:04 GMT -5
Nope, not at all.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 25, 2019 21:14:53 GMT -5
After 6 years of no sex, I could barely stand to be in the same room with my refuser. Now that I am out and divorced, I would not fuck her for a million dollars or more. I sure do hear you. I find my ex to be a rather unique sort of repulsive. I don’t want to speak to her or even worse be in the same room with her, much less fuck her.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 25, 2019 19:33:40 GMT -5
I used to dread this so much that I finally stopped watching anything on television with the Ex. Ultimately including the news as there would be a risk at seeing one of those pharmaceutical commercials that suggested a happy sexual fullfilling life.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 25, 2019 19:28:47 GMT -5
I would say that I am slightly worse off, if I consider not being completely alone as better than being completely alone. At least I had somewhat of a family life, as empty and unfulfilling as it was. But I also don’t have a lot of regret.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 6, 2019 18:59:14 GMT -5
Personally, I think that "unconditional" love is about the worst possible malady there is to suffer from. It sets you up perfectly to be manipulated and mistreated if the other person is so inclined, and keeps you coming back for more. That ain't healthy. I could not agree more and this is very well stated. Actually, I have always had some doubt that adults could love each other unconditionally at all. Is it possible to not have at least some rudimentary expectations of someone that you wish to consider your partner?
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Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 30, 2018 13:35:52 GMT -5
I don’t think I even know anymore.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 27, 2018 21:39:10 GMT -5
In my estimation, I am not doing especially well. But here is the thing that I have found. It doesn’t really matter. Every day is an adventure with the promise of something new. I suppose I will see how it goes, and I will try not to get hung up on the low moments.
I am glad to be a part of your community, and I wish all of you the best.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 27, 2018 21:32:45 GMT -5
Your story is wonderful. Best wishes to you in the coming year.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Nov 29, 2018 23:18:33 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through. Baza brought up a good point: the possibIlty of depression, something that most people experience during divorce and its aftermath. Depression also could be affecting your physIcal health and how you view your social and job optIons. Typically the best treatment for depression is therapy plus medication. Thank you. I am in therapy weekly and I am well medicated accordingly. Nothing miraculous, but it is better than nothing.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Nov 29, 2018 23:16:53 GMT -5
Honestly, I don’t know what the underlying medical issue is, and various doctors also haven’t been able to figure it out, but let’s just say the net result is profound impotence. I have a variety of other emergent health issues arising in the past 12 months, but that is the icing on the cake. FWIW, at the extreme end of the spectrum, implants are a real option. It’s a solvable problem. A bit less severe option, self-injections can be a solution. A friend of mine (really!) has an issue with the valve that traps the blood flow to cause an erection - ED pills don’t work on that, but he found a doctor that prescribed a localized injection that corrects the condition long enough. Given the choice between the injections vs no sex, he didn’t think twice. Thank you. These seem like extreme solutions which may be where I ultimately end up. It hardly seems worth it given my station in life at present, but who knows. The issue is that this came on suddenly, is either not helped or made worse by medical interventions thus far and doesn’t appear to be fixable in the short term. It has been about the last straw as far as things go. My health was exceptional until I turned 49 a little more than a year ago. Since then, it has been one issue after another, usually with no medical insight or solution. I’m just sick of it all.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Nov 29, 2018 22:19:09 GMT -5
Thank you all. I suppose I can chalk up my post to a week that has been a little worse than even usual. The medical problems have really gotten me down and there doesn’t seem to be any hope on the horizon for that. I really appreciate all of you and likely I will be spending more time here in the near future. I’ll try not to bring everyone down. It may be too personal, but what is the nature of the medical problem...more info may be helpful. But the request could also be an intrusion. If so, apologies in advance. Honestly, I don’t know what the underlying medical issue is, and various doctors also haven’t been able to figure it out, but let’s just say the net result is profound impotence. I have a variety of other emergent health issues arising in the past 12 months, but that is the icing on the cake.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Nov 29, 2018 21:40:22 GMT -5
Thank you all. I suppose I can chalk up my post to a week that has been a little worse than even usual. The medical problems have really gotten me down and there doesn’t seem to be any hope on the horizon for that. I really appreciate all of you and likely I will be spending more time here in the near future.
I’ll try not to bring everyone down.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Nov 29, 2018 9:36:52 GMT -5
I posted earlier this year about finalizing my divorce after 21 years of sexlessness and rejection. At the time, I thought that this would be a great turning point in my life - a new day dawning so to speak. This was true, but not in the way that I thought it would be, and I’m afraid not in any real positive way.
I have been alone most of the time since my divorce. No dates, no companionship, and no real human interaction. Extremely stressful and unrewarding job. I have my kids every other weekend, and this is some comfort to me, but our relationships are strained and I have to work constantly on trying to improve things between us. Even if something magical were to happen, I don’t think I have anything to offer anyone or anything to give. Hence, an intimate relationship just isn’t likely in the immediate future.
Probably the worst thing in all of this, is that recently I have developed an unexplained medical condition that has made it impossible to have sex even if it were a possibility. Doctors have no explanation and no effective treatment. Every option thus far has either failed or made things worse. At this point I don’t have hope that this will improve.
So I guess I am one of the few who ended up in a worse place post sexless marriage. At least when I was married I had occasional companionship, and I could have sex when the rare opportunity arose and she actually agreed. Oh well, I guess I have nothing positive to offer ... I do wish you all the best and that you all find what you are looking for.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Sept 22, 2018 21:02:50 GMT -5
Coming up on two years. Separated for 17 months and divorced for 7.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Aug 30, 2018 14:20:00 GMT -5
Male and absolutely alone.
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