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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 5, 2016 6:43:47 GMT -5
Yes,we will see how it goes. Most likely no-where. She is content for now, very little consequence to her.
When she asked if you wanted her to come along. That could have been the time to state the obvious all over again. You wanted a night of sex with her in your bedroom. Not teens over the house, not going out with her sister! You do not want re-set, fake sex. You are damm angry over all the rejection, manipulative controlling, and being shoved to the back of a broken stove.
Her response will be the silent treatment, more manipulative control. More pushing away leading to the final separation. A tough pill to swallow.
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Post by unmatched on Aug 5, 2016 7:20:51 GMT -5
That wasn't so long! I guess once you get into a stalemate of both being passive aggressive and then occasionally letting the anger spill out into an actual fight, then you are just in a constant downward spiral. I think the only way to jump out of that rut is to go deeper and more vulnerable and talk about what is underneath the anger - the hurt, the loss, the pain, the vulnerability - and to find out if you still love each other enough to connect. But obviously if you take that plunge it is going to be painful if it doesn't work, so you might need to be able to get out if it all goes bad.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2016 18:28:27 GMT -5
That wasn't so long! I guess once you get into a stalemate of both being passive aggressive and then occasionally letting the anger spill out into an actual fight, then you are just in a constant downward spiral. I think the only way to jump out of that rut is to go deeper and more vulnerable and talk about what is underneath the anger - the hurt, the loss, the pain, the vulnerability - and to find out if you still love each other enough to connect. But obviously if you take that plunge it is going to be painful if it doesn't work, so you might need to be able to get out if it all goes bad. Stalemate. Yeah. That's what a hopeless relationship feels like. Absolute nothing. No movement, no change, chasing around the same circles yet again. You look back over all the talks, arguments, tries, and counseling of the past year and see that it's exactly the same as it was. And you know it will be the same way a year from now. And you're both angry and unhappy and trying to fix it just makes it worse. You can't move. |
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Post by baza on Aug 5, 2016 19:58:49 GMT -5
The note issue is evidence that your pre-cognitive abilities to accurately predict what your missus will (not) do seem pretty good.
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If you applied those pre-cognitive skills toward the future of your marriage I reckon you can accurately predict where that is headed too.
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Do you see an upside to waiting for the deal to completely tank before you act ?
You know NOW where it is heading.
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Time is not your friend in these situations.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 6, 2016 3:15:40 GMT -5
I go away for 3 nights tomorrow.
All week he has been saying he'll need to and I quote "sort me out" before I go.
I'm expecting the same outcome you had.
Now where are my balls!
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 6, 2016 20:37:13 GMT -5
I go away for 3 nights tomorrow. All week he has been saying he'll need to and I quote "sort me out" before I go. I'm expecting the same outcome you had. Now where are my balls! Nice to know you're on a to-do list somewhere... and then, apparently not at the top. He must be numb below the waist. And apparently above the neck too. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2016 21:29:15 GMT -5
I go away for 3 nights tomorrow. All week he has been saying he'll need to and I quote "sort me out" before I go. I'm expecting the same outcome you had. Now where are my balls! Offering my balls.... to do as u please... |
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 6, 2016 21:37:58 GMT -5
We need a S O T symbol on here. Stay On Topic.
So, Red, how is it going?
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 7, 2016 12:11:26 GMT -5
Vitruvius - what's her preference for such venues? Like / dislike / indifferent? I can see a range of possible reactions, but 'blah' is not one I'd list.
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Post by Pinkberry on Aug 15, 2016 11:39:23 GMT -5
She was there to make sure that you didn't get any happy endings. Nothing more. In case you were entertaining other possibilities, don't.
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