Post by baza on Jul 31, 2016 20:29:03 GMT -5
Below is a comment on another thread, and is somewhat off topic to that thread.
So I've pasted it here as a new thread.
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Quoting bbgirl here - "Maybe we should ask:
why do some leave? What is different?"
(bbgirl was referring to questioning why people leave their ILIASM shitholes, rather than questioning why people stay in them.)
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I think that of the spouses who leave their ILIASM shithole, they have one thing in common.
They have the appropriate legal advice as to how such a scenario would shake out for them, and they have an exit strategy - be it rudimentary or highly sophisticated - that they are prepared to enact.
In other words, they have a plan, an alternative, a viable option to continuing on in the ILIASM shithole environment.
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On the other hand, those that stay (most), do NOT have legal advice / do-able exit strategies. They do NOT have an alternate plan. Or, they have these things but are not prepared to enact them.
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I guess that then takes us back a stage to pose the question "what will motivate a person to seek legal advice and construct an exit strategy ?"
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That will vary from person to person, but there will be a mix of two motivating factors.
#1 - being the dread of pissing the rest of ones life up against the wall. The fear motivation.
#2 - being the recognition that a brighter future beckons, with all it's possibilities. The hope motivation.
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There will be various mixes of #1 and #2 in play, but I think personally that #1 is usually the big gun. At least initially. That's the one that is most likely to get an ILIASM shithole spouse into movement. #2 seems to emerge later in the process (and often drags its' heels) but once in place it is also a very powerful motivator.
So I've pasted it here as a new thread.
-
Quoting bbgirl here - "Maybe we should ask:
why do some leave? What is different?"
(bbgirl was referring to questioning why people leave their ILIASM shitholes, rather than questioning why people stay in them.)
-
I think that of the spouses who leave their ILIASM shithole, they have one thing in common.
They have the appropriate legal advice as to how such a scenario would shake out for them, and they have an exit strategy - be it rudimentary or highly sophisticated - that they are prepared to enact.
In other words, they have a plan, an alternative, a viable option to continuing on in the ILIASM shithole environment.
-
On the other hand, those that stay (most), do NOT have legal advice / do-able exit strategies. They do NOT have an alternate plan. Or, they have these things but are not prepared to enact them.
-
I guess that then takes us back a stage to pose the question "what will motivate a person to seek legal advice and construct an exit strategy ?"
-
That will vary from person to person, but there will be a mix of two motivating factors.
#1 - being the dread of pissing the rest of ones life up against the wall. The fear motivation.
#2 - being the recognition that a brighter future beckons, with all it's possibilities. The hope motivation.
-
There will be various mixes of #1 and #2 in play, but I think personally that #1 is usually the big gun. At least initially. That's the one that is most likely to get an ILIASM shithole spouse into movement. #2 seems to emerge later in the process (and often drags its' heels) but once in place it is also a very powerful motivator.
