Post by unmatched on Jul 26, 2016 21:15:06 GMT -5
Note to self...
(this was largely inspired by @elle and her last thread)
If you are in a sexless marriage, or trying to resolve one, or in the process of leaving, you are on a massive emotional rollercoaster that goes on seemingly forever. You will almost certainly have days when you feel down, when you feel depressed, when you feel angry, or frustrated. You will have days when you feel like you have no energy at all. You will have days when you feel insatiably horny to the point where everybody in the street looks like an attractive partner. And then there will be days when you feel happy and optimistic. You will feel like your relationship can be fixed, or your divorce can be a happy one. And there will follow days when you feel hopeless, or scared, or numb. Sometimes you will feel strong, like you have got this and you can handle it, and sometimes you will want to curl up in a little ball under your bed.
Don't discount your feelings. Let yourself have them. They are all real, and they are all telling you something. But likewise don't take them too seriously. Hold them with a light touch. Learn the lesson they have for you, and know that things will look different again tomorrow.
And they do look different. Along with your feelings, know that your perceptions are also changing. What seems clear one day will seem stupid the next. What you want one day will seem repellent a few days later. Your mind is swaying in the breeze. Treat that too with a light touch. You are learning every day, and over time you are growing wiser and stronger and more in touch with yourself and with life. But again don't take any of it too seriously. It will change.
And despite all of this you need to move. Things need to change. So follow your heart. Try to find the you that is always there in the midst of the turmoil. Know that you will be pulled off course. Let it happen and then come back to yourself. And be brave enough to do what you know is right. Then somehow, somehow, you will find your way through this.
(this was largely inspired by @elle and her last thread)
If you are in a sexless marriage, or trying to resolve one, or in the process of leaving, you are on a massive emotional rollercoaster that goes on seemingly forever. You will almost certainly have days when you feel down, when you feel depressed, when you feel angry, or frustrated. You will have days when you feel like you have no energy at all. You will have days when you feel insatiably horny to the point where everybody in the street looks like an attractive partner. And then there will be days when you feel happy and optimistic. You will feel like your relationship can be fixed, or your divorce can be a happy one. And there will follow days when you feel hopeless, or scared, or numb. Sometimes you will feel strong, like you have got this and you can handle it, and sometimes you will want to curl up in a little ball under your bed.
Don't discount your feelings. Let yourself have them. They are all real, and they are all telling you something. But likewise don't take them too seriously. Hold them with a light touch. Learn the lesson they have for you, and know that things will look different again tomorrow.
And they do look different. Along with your feelings, know that your perceptions are also changing. What seems clear one day will seem stupid the next. What you want one day will seem repellent a few days later. Your mind is swaying in the breeze. Treat that too with a light touch. You are learning every day, and over time you are growing wiser and stronger and more in touch with yourself and with life. But again don't take any of it too seriously. It will change.
And despite all of this you need to move. Things need to change. So follow your heart. Try to find the you that is always there in the midst of the turmoil. Know that you will be pulled off course. Let it happen and then come back to yourself. And be brave enough to do what you know is right. Then somehow, somehow, you will find your way through this.
