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Post by sand5280 on Apr 7, 2016 19:35:55 GMT -5
I am a stay at home dad... raising 6 children (3 of them adopted from China). Also for the past 9 years my wife's aging father has lived with us, guess who has been there for him? Homeschooling 9 years now. I too am the taxi driver, teacher, disciplinarian, doctor, home repairman, (not to mention my side business of owning and managing rental properties) cook, bill payer, swim teacher, baby sitter, tree trimmer, etc..... You did say you were "unemployed" right? |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2016 21:22:22 GMT -5
I look forward to following your story, mine will be similar when the time comes. The only difference is I am a stay at home dad, my wife is an electrical engineer. I have been unemployed for 17 yrs raising 6 children ( 3 of them adopted from China). Also for the past 9 years my wife's aging father has lived with us, guess who has been there for him? We also agreed to try homeschooling. That is going on 9years now. I too am the taxi driver, teacher, disciplinarian ,doctor, home repairman, ( not to mention my side business of owning and managing rental properties) cook,bill payer,swim teacher,baby sitter, tree trimmer, etc..... We live in the top 5 percent, fortunately several lawyers believe I would remain in the top 30 percent, with a steady alimony. I'm sure a lawyer or two has already told you this, but document everything you can. It will make it easier down the line if you need to "prove" what you've been doing. I also have a small business (teaching music classes to children) so I know the demands of trying to keep up with work while getting pulled in fifty directions with kids, house and yard issues, etc. Write it down - how much time you spend on various things. At the very least, you'll be impressed with the amount you're handling! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 8, 2016 7:41:31 GMT -5
I look forward to following your story, mine will be similar when the time comes. The only difference is I am a stay at home dad, my wife is an electrical engineer. I have been unemployed for 17 yrs raising 6 children ( 3 of them adopted from China). Also for the past 9 years my wife's aging father has lived with us, guess who has been there for him? We also agreed to try homeschooling. That is going on 9years now. I too am the taxi driver, teacher, disciplinarian ,doctor, home repairman, ( not to mention my side business of owning and managing rental properties) cook,bill payer,swim teacher,baby sitter, tree trimmer, etc..... We live in the top 5 percent, fortunately several lawyers believe I would remain in the top 30 percent, with a steady alimony. I'm sure a lawyer or two has already told you this, but document everything you can. It will make it easier down the line if you need to "prove" what you've been doing. I also have a small business (teaching music classes to children) so I know the demands of trying to keep up with work while getting pulled in fifty directions with kids, house and yard issues, etc. Write it down - how much time you spend on various things. At the very least, you'll be impressed with the amount you're handling! I have a color coded bar graph to keep up with our daily, ever changing, day to day, season to season events, documented on the computer! ( not including all the surprise requests in between !) one downer, is now that they are getting older, driving, half in public school, I am not needed as much. Yet try to start a new career, or do any significant project with 2 hrs of time. Once you lay out everything, get to where your going, change clothes, then you realize I have to be somewhere for the kids! Pack it all away, change clothes etc...it's not worth it. And your spouse wonders why you get so little done! |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 10, 2016 18:38:49 GMT -5
I'm a little hesitant to post about this - there have been some comments about alimony on another one of my threads that make me feel a little anxious about sharing my situation, but I'm going to go ahead and risk it. I'll suppose some of those comments have been mine, so I'll offer some context... I'm amazed that the system doesn't provide for immediate, rubber-stamp orders of interim support - say, a conservative formula based on what's likely to be awarded in court. This alone would help people escape bad situations where they're financially trapped, and it would keep people from using stall tactics to manipulate the situation. Alimony absolutely makes sense to ensure a spouse has a fighting chance at restarting income. Where the system fails in my eyes is the idea that support should provide for greater than an average standard of living, just because married living was above-average - but more so, the idea that someone needs 7-10 years (or even, lifetime!) of support to become self-sufficient (in my jurisdiction, based on length of marriage). It's good to see that you were able to get a quick court date. Hopefully, H will be unable to stall the process, and credit lines can bridge the gap. DC |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2016 21:13:18 GMT -5
It's fair to ask for support if you sacrificed for the sake of the marriage. Post separation support is part of the territory, it goes along with divorce. He can get over it if he doesn't like it. Don't let him shame you out of what's yours.
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Post by petrushka on Apr 18, 2016 9:49:56 GMT -5
I also told him that the reason I had no interest in talking to him without my lawyer is that he never listens to anything I say and just states his point of view over and over again until I just give up. Then I told him I was done talking about this and hung up. It didn't change my situation as far as money goes, but it felt good to stand up to him. Do you recall reading Smithy8015's stories on EP? Your STBX is exhibiting shades of Mr Smithy. Might be worthwhile to read her stories to help prepare yourself for the challenges Mr Mountainrunner may throw your way. Gods, I wonder what's become of Smithy. I sent her a pm via EP a few weeks ago (before the closure came up) but didn't receive a reply. I hope she's ok. That man she married sounded like the sort that would go and kill their family if things don't go "their" way - I was really worried about her at times. A real waste of oxygen, that jackass (or as I sometimes like to put it: a good example to make a case for post-natal abortion). |
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Post by TMD on Apr 18, 2016 11:49:11 GMT -5
petrushka, yeah, that man was certified. I hope Smithy makes her way over and is able to provide us with an update.
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