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Post by Rhapsodee on Jul 24, 2016 11:21:18 GMT -5
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Post by wewbwb on Jul 24, 2016 21:57:33 GMT -5
You can see the refusers in the comments.
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Post by litnerd on Jul 26, 2016 11:31:19 GMT -5
I have to agree with nearly every word when you're talking about having feelings for someone who never reciprocated. I was that girl in high school, pining for guys who didn't even know I existed. I grew out of it. I walked away from relationships when I heard indecision from my partners. It *was* a turn off when one guy I'd been doe-eyed over for close to 10 years effectively told me he wasn't interested in being anything more than friends. Ten years of a giant crush completely faded away.
But things get so much more fucked up in my current situation. He reciprocated. He made me believe (and maybe made himself believe) that he loved me. I'd like to think that the sexual chemistry we had couldn't be faked. Fast forward a few years, and I'm completely unsure of his feelings. He says he loves me. He says he's sexually attracted to me. But I have no proof of that. The disgusting part is that is doesn't make me love him less. It doesn't make me any less attracted to him. I know that holding on to my feelings for him is absolutely killing me mentally and emotionally. Especially because the trap of trying to figure out what is wrong with me or why things changed is always ready and waiting. I keep waiting for his disinterest to flip a switch. For my heart to finally have had enough.
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Post by baza on Aug 2, 2016 3:45:27 GMT -5
If you realise that you are suffering from a case of "Unrequited Love" you are well on the way to getting out.
"Unrequited Love" equals "Unreturned Love" so you have jumped the big hurdle (recognised that your spouse does not love you in a way that is meaningful to you)
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Given enough time, your love level toward your spouse will continue to tank, and at that point you'll have a situation of two people co-habitating with no love present. And, logically, no reason to stay together.
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Thing is, that you know this is how it is going to play out, and you know that NOW.
You don't have to wait until the situation completely runs out of gas to call a halt to things.
Of course, you CAN wait for the situation to completely run out of gas by the process of attrition, if you so choose, but you can piss a lot of years up against the wall by adopting this strategy.
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It has been said before and will no doubt be said again in the future. In the context of an ILIASM shithole - "Time is NOT your friend"
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Post by petrushka on Aug 2, 2016 5:05:46 GMT -5
Ah, but the greedy facebook won't let me in to see. "Join us" goes the insatiable gobble monster. Or we will have the doorkeeper block you.
I have an aversion to insatiable gobble monsters, and to joining.
It's all right, I can live just fine without facebook, twitter, instagram and tv. In fact, I contend I live better without the ruddy lot.
;-)
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Post by bballgirl on Aug 2, 2016 8:59:47 GMT -5
I have to agree with nearly every word when you're talking about having feelings for someone who never reciprocated. I was that girl in high school, pining for guys who didn't even know I existed. I grew out of it. I walked away from relationships when I heard indecision from my partners. It *was* a turn off when one guy I'd been doe-eyed over for close to 10 years effectively told me he wasn't interested in being anything more than friends. Ten years of a giant crush completely faded away. But things get so much more fucked up in my current situation. He reciprocated. He made me believe (and maybe made himself believe) that he loved me. I'd like to think that the sexual chemistry we had couldn't be faked. Fast forward a few years, and I'm completely unsure of his feelings. He says he loves me. He says he's sexually attracted to me. But I have no proof of that. The disgusting part is that is doesn't make me love him less. It doesn't make me any less attracted to him. I know that holding on to my feelings for him is absolutely killing me mentally and emotionally. Especially because the trap of trying to figure out what is wrong with me or why things changed is always ready and waiting. I keep waiting for his disinterest to flip a switch. For my heart to finally have had enough. Love yourself more. You deserve better!! |
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Post by litnerd on Aug 2, 2016 15:51:42 GMT -5
This guy is one of my favorite people on the Internet right now, and I swear that everything he's been saying/writing/posting lately speaks directly to me. Today, he tackled the topic of unrequited love: www.facebook.com/MattJosephDiaz/videos/1159165024122750/I wish I had just a portion of his wisdom when I was his age. |
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