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Post by sand5280 on Jul 22, 2016 3:32:05 GMT -5
thanks all of you for your comments. It was extremely hard for me to write this. Now I have a huge pain in my stomach. For me this site does not help at all. I am sure it helps some of you though. The event happened 18 years ago..... Well done for coming out and writing this post. It has clearly been bottled up for a long time and it was a brave thing to do. I get the impression you are resolved to stay in your marriage and are trying to find ways to live with it and ease the pain... Focus on your relationship. It sounds like you have some communication and maybe trust issues in your marriage... What is remarkable, 18 years ago you decided to stay and give her a 'second chance'. Despite the fact you may have been aware of her inclination to be more careful, as mentioned in many above posts. For me it would have opened a huge crater of inadequacy. My experience years ago, this was announced to me before it was to get underway. Perhaps I am wiser now, but at the time the crater was opened and it never healed. I was constantly wondering what she was doing when I was not around. Important: Your integrity in staying is to be admired. If after 18 years this is still bothering you, which apparently it is, it may be necessary to face a very painful and courageous step, if not done so already. Address the issue to find out if it is still on her mind, or what else she has done, things need to be out in the open without secrets. Be ready for a can of worms, you must be prepared for the answers you may not want to hear. I would also let her know this weight you have been carrying for this long, with the hopes it provides you with a relief of somewhat getting it off your chest. |
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Post by lwoetin on Jul 22, 2016 4:28:10 GMT -5
thanks all of you for your comments. It was extremely hard for me to write this. Now I have a huge pain in my stomach. For me this site does not help at all. I am sure it helps some of you though. The event happened 18 years ago..... You should use this site to suit your needs. It is a SM group and full of experiences to glean from. Try to avoid what hurts and take from what helps. No one here is walking in your shoes and members are only offering ideas. There is no right or wrong answer. You choose what is best for you and your marriage. Good luck. |
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