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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 18:28:23 GMT -5
the wife had a new friend, for a few months, that she would visit a couple times a week. The friend had a farm and they were riding horses. husband met the friend a couple of times. She was married and the same age as them.
One day, while the wife is at work, husband opens the lab top. He finds wife's email open. There is a very romantic exchange between wife and her new friend. They are planning to meet at a hotel in the city and stay overnight this weekend. (husband knows nothing of this, and it is tomorrow)
Husband calls wife at work, and she comes directly home. Wife says that she is so sorry. She says that she met this girl on a dating site right after her mother died. (mother died recently) Wife says that she wanted to be anyone else but herself. Wife calls friend and breaks off friendship. Wife does not want to talk about it or go to therapy.
Wanna guess what happens when husband tells anyone of this?
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Post by unmatched on Jul 20, 2016 18:41:43 GMT -5
If his wife can't talk to him about it then their marriage is in deep trouble.
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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 20, 2016 18:44:09 GMT -5
the wife had a new friend, for a few months, that she would visit a couple times a week. The friend had a farm and they were riding horses. husband met the friend a couple of times. She was married and the same age as them. One day, while the wife is at work, husband opens the lab top. He finds wife's email open. There is a very romantic exchange between wife and her new friend. They are planning to meet at a hotel in the city and stay overnight this weekend. (husband knows nothing of this, and it is tomorrow) Husband calls wife at work, and she comes directly home. Wife says that she is so sorry. She says that she met this girl on a dating site right after her mother died. (mother died recently) Wife says that she wanted to be anyone else but herself. Wife calls friend and breaks off friendship. Wife does not want to talk about it or go to therapy. Wanna guess what happens when husband tells anyone of this? Something something something Penthouse Letters, something something threesome? Definitely cheating. Definitely need to talk to somebody together. She might not have done it, but there was intent, right? |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 19:03:38 GMT -5
Using sex to self medicate. Yeah his friends will laugh and say he could have had a double blowjob, but she was sneaking and that's why it was cheating.
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Post by DryCreek on Jul 20, 2016 19:30:22 GMT -5
I'd speculate that his friends disbelieve him or don't see it the same as cheating.
As for intent... She absolutely intended to. She only aborted because she got caught. Am I innocent of a crime if they catch me before I do it? Not on my planet.
Personally, I might have suggested a hotel room and cosplay to address her desire to "be anyone else", rather than leave her husband out of the equation. I suspect it wasn't about escaping her identity as much as it was about escaping her husband.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 20, 2016 20:10:32 GMT -5
Meeting girls on a dating site. ( after her mother dies?) that " logic" is lower than a snake full of buckshot!
Should have followed her caught in on tape, and have all the proof you need. Missed a golden opportunity.
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Post by baza on Jul 20, 2016 22:05:56 GMT -5
"Context" is everything.
If indeed it is *you* being the husband in this tale, then your May 7 thread provides a context, and as such it provides further evidence of just how far down the chute your deal is.
If it is just some bloke you know who features in the story then there's no context, and any comment can only be pure speculation.
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But on the scant info, it would seem the wife is genuinely sorry - - - that she got caught.
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As to "what happens when husband tells anyone of this?", that probably depends upon what type of person(s) he tells.
Some might find it a highly amusing tale, others may be aghast.
Some might be greatly surprised, others might not be the least bit surprised.
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I'd be far more interested in what 'the husband' actually DID in light of this development in the situation.
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Post by iceman on Jul 21, 2016 8:55:59 GMT -5
the wife had a new friend, for a few months, that she would visit a couple times a week. The friend had a farm and they were riding horses. husband met the friend a couple of times. She was married and the same age as them. One day, while the wife is at work, husband opens the lab top. He finds wife's email open. There is a very romantic exchange between wife and her new friend. They are planning to meet at a hotel in the city and stay overnight this weekend. (husband knows nothing of this, and it is tomorrow) Husband calls wife at work, and she comes directly home. Wife says that she is so sorry. She says that she met this girl on a dating site right after her mother died. (mother died recently) Wife says that she wanted to be anyone else but herself. Wife calls friend and breaks off friendship. Wife does not want to talk about it or go to therapy. Wanna guess what happens when husband tells anyone of this? The first thing that happens is that the wife gets much better at covering her tracks. Leaving your email open on any laptop that her husband could access is very sloppy. Even using an email account that her husband knows about is amateur hour. She'll learn and in the future you'll never know if she doing something untoward. I'm sure she was sorry. Sorry that she was caught. If she was truly sorry she'd talk about it and/or go to therapy. I'm sure she was embarrassed and may have broken it off with her friend, for now, but the desire is still there and it will rear its head again to tempt her. Don't know if she'll act on it. |
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Post by angryspartan on Jul 21, 2016 10:06:32 GMT -5
Husband must not be rich if she's not inviting him to the party.  |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 21, 2016 11:23:11 GMT -5
I'm in the boat with most everyone else. The regret she is expressing is from having been caught. Had it been me I would have gotten a detective or a trusted friend to follow her and catch her in the act. I'm only speculating but perhaps she has been a closet homosexual hiding behind a marriage to fulfill her families expectations or what she felt society and her friends expected.
I do disagree with those here saying her desire to be anyone other than herself is BS. I think that is exactly what she wanted. To be anyone except the woman in an unhappy and sexually unfulfilling relationship with her husband.
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Post by nyartgal on Jul 21, 2016 12:18:50 GMT -5
It's pretty simple, the wife is bi or lesbian. Now you know.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2016 12:44:22 GMT -5
thanks all of you for your comments. It was extremely hard for me to write this.
Now I have a huge pain in my stomach. For me this site does not help at all. I am sure it helps some of you though.
The event happened 18 years ago.....
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Post by needtoresolve on Jul 21, 2016 13:27:04 GMT -5
thanks all of you for your comments. It was extremely hard for me to write this. Now I have a huge pain in my stomach. For me this site does not help at all. I am sure it helps some of you though. The event happened 18 years ago..... I'm not sure how to help you with that pain in your stomach, but if you and your wife are still together, it's likely that her bisexual interest hasn't changed a lot since then. It might be curiosity, it might be full on sexual preference, or it might be something that neither one of you are going to understand. It may not matter. I have a perspective as a long time, very unwilling celibate who has chosen not to leave my marriage. Whatever label you put on it, the reality is that this thing "is what it is" and that as a male, there are some things you are not able to give her. So why not simply tell her that if this is something she needs, you'll be willing to help her with it as long as she doesn't sneak around. If she needs to get messy with another woman, then let her. But if you say that, or move in that direction, do it freely and without resentment - or don't do it at all. From where I sit, if this happened to me, I would talk with my wife about open communication without fear. But I would also be encouraged by her lesbian interest because as it is, her libido is as dead as a corpse and has been for over 20 years. Not only has she no interest in sex, it astounds her that I would still have an interest and frankly she resents it as something selfish on my part. She had withdrawn physically so much that she even avoided touching me. This is all in the context of a lifelong battle with serious depression, chronic pain, and a mix of anger and rage that the job she had and loved disappeared to IT offshoring fifteen years ago. So it's an ingredient in a nasty witches brew. So, yeah - if I found out my wife was having a lesbian affair on the side, part of me would shout to the heavens with glee. It would mean that she had stopped dying. I'd want her to invite her friend over so I could give her a hug. I've been able to help my wife return to some healthy level of intimacy, but it is very limited. Sex might never happen again, although of late I do feel a loving touch fairly often, when she is not berating herself as part of the depression. I am 60 years old and unless I find a solution, I will be that guy who's sex life ended when he turned 38. Eighteen years is a long time to carry pain. If your wife is around, let it out with love. Don't become me. |
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Post by unmatched on Jul 21, 2016 18:22:36 GMT -5
thanks all of you for your comments. It was extremely hard for me to write this. Now I have a huge pain in my stomach. For me this site does not help at all. I am sure it helps some of you though. The event happened 18 years ago..... @lostsoul firstly well done for coming out and writing this post. It has clearly been bottled up for a long time and it was a brave thing to do. I am sure that most of the responses are things you have already speculated about, or maybe some of them are true things that you already know, but I think you might come to find the act of putting it out there might shift something for you. I get the impression you are resolved to stay in your marriage and are trying to find ways to live with it and ease the pain. Would that be right? If so I guess my recommendation (which may not be worth much...) is to forget about the sex for a while and focus on your relationship. It sounds like you have some communication and maybe trust issues in your marriage and if you are going to spend the rest of your lives together you might want to explore that with her and see if you can find ways to be closer. Otherwise you are just two people on parallel tracks in the same house, and sex or no sex there really doesn't seem to be much benefit in that for either of you. Obviously that is largely based on assumption, so please don't take any notice if I got it all wrong! |
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Post by baza on Jul 21, 2016 23:13:05 GMT -5
All posts here have some sort of value Brother lostsoul.
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" For me this site does not help at all." - you say.
And fair enough.
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However, your post, and the comments it has attracted, may resonate deeply with some lurker, or member who reads extensively and as such has value. If not to you, then to someone else.
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I think this group often helps people vicariously.
I think a lot of us learn stuff by reading others posts and the responses to them, and cherry pick the bits and pieces that apply in our own situations.
That's what I've found over the years at least.
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So if this is your last post (hope it's not) then thanks for your contributions.
You can bet that someone got something out of them.
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