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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 20, 2016 8:38:39 GMT -5
Showtime in about 3 1/2 hours. I haven't been home since Saturday, except for a brief trip Sunday to grab some clothes for work this week. She sent me an "I miss you" email yesterday, and the only thing I could reply with was, "I know this has been hard on us both, hope cab figure some things out with the therapist."
I miss her, but only as somebody to check in on, make sure they're OK.
I really, really miss my puppy. I hope my wife has walked or run with her, and is letting her play outside.
I've been missing my wife for months now, the woman and partner she used to be, the badass I fell in love with. Now it feels like not seeing a roommate that you have to take care of.
Previously, when I went out of town to see family or for work, I'd let her know that I missed her. I usually wouldn't get any replies to my texts.
"You don't give me time to miss you," she'd tell me when I asked about this later.
So I stopped texting and letting her know what I was doing.
And she didn't bat an eye about it.
Until I saw a movie she also wanted to see (but hadn't told me) while I was visiting family. Go figure.
So I'm wondering: is there anything left for me to miss, or will there ever be again?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 8:54:31 GMT -5
You don't give her time to miss you? Good grief. What on earth is that supposed to mean?
As for the future, troubled marriages rarely get better. You've probably seen from your reading here that the odds of a turnaround are slim. If you're not both 150% committed to fundamentally changing your relationship, the odds are zero.
Refusers are the ones in control so they usually don't want change.
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Post by wewbwb on Jul 20, 2016 9:00:44 GMT -5
cagedtiger I totally understand and relate. Except the "you didn't give me time to miss you" part. I don't even get that. All I've been thinking about these past two weeks - Well I'm usually only thinking about 1 thing. But the OTHER thing I've been thinking about is: "Yeah, I can get used to this." At least when I come home from work, I'm alone. When she's home, I come home from work and I'm alone with another person.
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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 20, 2016 9:04:49 GMT -5
cagedtiger I totally understand and relate. Except the "you didn't give me time to miss you" part. I don't even get that. All I've been thinking about these past two weeks - Well I'm usually only thinking about 1 thing. But the OTHER thing I've been thinking about is: "Yeah, I can get used to this." At least when I come home from work, I'm alone. When she's home, I come home from work and I'm alone with another person. That last line. My life for almost 2 years now, it feels like. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 20, 2016 9:13:34 GMT -5
cagedtiger I totally understand and relate. Except the "you didn't give me time to miss you" part. I don't even get that. All I've been thinking about these past two weeks - Well I'm usually only thinking about 1 thing. But the OTHER thing I've been thinking about is: "Yeah, I can get used to this." At least when I come home from work, I'm alone. When she's home, I come home from work and I'm alone with another person. That last line. My life for almost 2 years now, it feels like. I'd rather live in an empty house than in a house with an empty spouse! time to miss you? What ever happened to, the greeting at the door, " you were at work all day, I missed you! Let's be together tonight!" |
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 20, 2016 9:20:22 GMT -5
Been divorced officially 6 months today. (Just turned to a colleague and told him, he said congrats, I said I should have baked a cake). Anyway, I never missed my husband if he went away on business. It was a time of relief.
Since we have lived apart not one day have I said "I miss being around him or doing something specific with him". Missing someone is a great litmus test for a good or bad relationship. And I do have those missing you feelings for people in my life - especially my kids when they have been gone for a few days. I'm glad when they go and spend time with their dad but after 3 days I miss them. That's love!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 9:21:25 GMT -5
I hear you....I never get texts or communications from the W except when there is a problem for me to deal with...or something I need to pay for...
Someone needs to explain to us why some spouses change so much with marriage... why the communication becomes so poor.
When I am gone, miss my dogs more than my W....
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 9:24:49 GMT -5
I just finished this season of Alone on history channel...one contestant quit because he was missing his wife too much... if I had to live in the woods for 2 months....great!!! No W, no people....I agree with bballgirl....I don't miss her, I feel relief when she is gone...
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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 20, 2016 9:27:37 GMT -5
That last line. My life for almost 2 years now, it feels like. I'd rather live in an empty house than in a house with an empty spouse! time to miss you? What ever happened to, the greeting at the door, " you were at work all day, I missed you! Let's be together tonight!" That was my reaction when she'd get home from work. She'd immediately push me away and tell me I was acting weird. It never made sense to her that I would miss her during the day. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 20, 2016 9:39:11 GMT -5
I'd rather live in an empty house than in a house with an empty spouse! time to miss you? What ever happened to, the greeting at the door, " you were at work all day, I missed you! Let's be together tonight!" That was my reaction when she'd get home from work. She'd immediately push me away and tell me I was acting weird. It never made sense to her that I would miss her during the day. Gaawwdd! That's awful ( amazingly selfish too!) I feel for you man! I really do, and all the rest of you out there too! Heck, my roommates would at least say, what's up? How was your day? When I would come home. Let's not even talk about the greeting you get from a child or a dog! And when the dog sees you take out the suitcase...... |
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Post by DryCreek on Jul 20, 2016 14:42:51 GMT -5
"You don't give me time to miss you," she'd tell me when I asked about this later. cagedtiger: "Problem solved. You'll have plenty of time to miss me now." |
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Post by Pinkberry on Jul 20, 2016 15:13:38 GMT -5
That feeling of being alone with another person is one of the things that drained me most. I used to dread my children going to bed because then it was just us.
That feeling is an indicator, my friend.
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Post by baza on Jul 20, 2016 23:53:34 GMT -5
I figure your more recent post (about the counselling session) has superceded this one.
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Anyway, even in the worst days of my deal, I would always text my missus if I was going to be late home from work, or had had some change in plan if I was out somewhere.
I do this today still, with Ms enna.
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Seems to me to be a matter of basic courtesy.
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