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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2016 9:51:03 GMT -5
FFS. Stuff like this is why it doesn't pay to take dating too seriously.
I met a man on OKStupid who liked to text back and forth with me, and it was always a fairly stupid conversation. Really silly stuff. But since I was just doing this for practice dating, not actually looking for a relationship, I went along with it.
We met once IRL, and I wasn't too excited about him; I think he liked the way I look, but wasn't over the moon about me.
Anyway, he asked me out to dinner, and I said yes, even though I didn't really want to. We didn't have good conversations and I didn't feel any chemistry. But I'm supposed to be practicing dating, right?
About 90 minutes before, he texted me to say he couldn't make it. That was OK with me.
So, about a week later, the same thing happened again: he asked me out to dinner, I accepted, then he said he couldn't make it about a couple of hours ahead of time.
Obviously, he's not that into me, or he would have made a more serious effort to see me IRL, instead of blowing it off at the last minute.
And obviously, I'm not into him, because this doesn't really bother me. And he has texted me since then, but I'm keeping my answers short and not really engaging him. And in the unlikely event that he asks me out again, I'm going to say no.
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 19, 2016 11:42:49 GMT -5
@smartkat - yes I don't take it seriously
It's almost like field research to me.
Something to do if I feel bored and have extra time.
If I meet a man that intrigues me fine.
One man I met, I consider him a friend now but that's it.
At this point my first priority is my children.
Dating is just something extra to learn from.
I feel like the figuring out that I should have done in my twenties I'm doing now but I'm a lot wiser.
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Post by Pinkberry on Jul 19, 2016 14:51:17 GMT -5
No, having a Recliner and sleeping on it = LOSER! Girls, please be careful. Yeah, that's an automatic no. That's exactly what my grandpa used to do. Wow, you guys are harsh. I can think of three or four legitimate reasons the guy might have fallen asleep. On the other hand, I make all sorts of excuses for others. Maybe I need a little more harsh in my life. |
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Post by pfviento on Jul 19, 2016 15:03:09 GMT -5
Yeah, that's an automatic no. That's exactly what my grandpa used to do. Wow, you guys are harsh. I can think of three or four legitimate reasons the guy might have fallen asleep. On the other hand, I make all sorts of excuses for others. Maybe I need a little more harsh in my life. Falling asleep before a first date with someone you talked to for 3 hours is unusual. I worked graveyard and had insomnia and never managed that. Usually if they are important to you a guy will make effort and time and if a car breaks down will call you and let you know. Priorities. We all have them. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 19, 2016 15:16:44 GMT -5
The bottom line is there were a few red flags here.
Funny because 2 years ago I made a list of the traits I would want in a future partner. Despite being in a SM, number one on my list was someone reliable.
So when I got the text from him saying that he fell asleep he's sorry blah blah,
I thought to myself "great number one thing on my list and he's exhibiting signs of unreliability".
Some things are deal breakers and I'm all about giving someone the benefit of the doubt but my gut tells me something was off with this one.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2016 16:24:50 GMT -5
Pinkberry, would you REALLY give a man with a recliner a second look?
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Post by Pinkberry on Jul 19, 2016 17:06:29 GMT -5
Pinkberry , would you REALLY give a man with a recliner a second look? Depends on the recliner. Leather and stylish, sure. Possibly mistaken for Marty's recliner from "Frasier," then not so much. I'm not nearly on my way to the retirement home yet, but I relish a good nap. I can understand napping. I also am exhausted after work or after a long, hot day of yard work. I can imagine falling asleep without planning to. But, I typically set an alarm if I have an activity coming up. Even just getting involved in stuff around the house, it is easy to lose track of time. So, I try to make sure I have reminders for everything. That said, while I am pretty sure I'd be ready for a date, I've been caught off guard before. Sometimes a hot day, cold beverage, comfy chair, and a good something on TV and then next thing you know you've been asleep for a while. It's possible, though it does come off as pretty crappy before a first date that he said he didn't want to wait on. It definitely indicates a lack of excitement for the date. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 19:23:32 GMT -5
Didn't know he was going 90 LOL.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 19:30:45 GMT -5
@smartkat - yes I don't take it seriously It's almost like field research to me. Something to do if I feel bored and have extra time. If I meet a man that intrigues me fine. One man I met, I consider him a friend now but that's it. At this point my first priority is my children. Dating is just something extra to learn from. I feel like the figuring out that I should have done in my twenties I'm doing now but I'm a lot wiser. If I could just take my fifty year old mind and put it in my twenty year old body, well you know the song, every woman I meet, they all stay satisfied. But I think I'm living proof that your brain is your biggest sex organ (but really if your brain is smaller than your dick you have a problem)...you can trust and believe I wasn't satisfying any women at twenty. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 20, 2016 20:01:08 GMT -5
Didn't know he was going 90 LOL. Nut job! Lol |
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Post by wewbwb on Jul 20, 2016 20:59:21 GMT -5
Yeah, that's an automatic no. That's exactly what my grandpa used to do. Wow, you guys are harsh. I can think of three or four legitimate reasons the guy might have fallen asleep. On the other hand, I make all sorts of excuses for others. Maybe I need a little more harsh in my life. Maybe a part of me is old fashioned. A nap? Sure but but there are a 100 things that keep time in a house. Find one and use it. Seriously. And while we fully expect and accept a woman being late, we are on time. Anything less is simply rude. |
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Post by adventura on Jul 20, 2016 22:23:47 GMT -5
I think Baza nailed it - the would-be date was making everything up. The nap, sure, I can buy although it would be an automatic disqualification for me (I've been on a lot of dates in my life as a single woman and don't have time to fart around with a narcoleptic). But he lost me at "they're towing my car." I wouldn't know whether to be offended that he thinks I'm that gullible, or thank him for giving me my first really good laugh in weeks.
Dif'rent strokes and all, but I've gotten really hooked on group meetups as a way to get to know men without dating. God I hate dating, and I especially hate online dating. Group meetups let me gauge how interested a guy is (if he makes a point of talking to me when there are other women to talk to), how clingy he is (if he gloms onto me and ignores everyone else), and how other people react to him.
I don't have a hard number of required meetups before I'd go out with someone but I'm thinking at least 5...maybe 10. I've made so many bad choices because I got too close too quickly to guys who looked good on the surface but only revealed some major problems after we were already in an exclusive relationship. It's too easy to put on a mask for dating because there are no other people around to provide reality checks. This is exactly what got me into my current sexless relationship.
My dating boundary is this: I don't date men I don't know well. Your mileage may vary.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 22:46:11 GMT -5
Picture I get is of a bloke living in the basement of his mothers house to be perfectly honest. I'd further speculate that he literally shit himself at your text saying you were at the agreed venue and it all got "real" at which time he concocted this bullshit story to explain his inability to attend. Although, perhaps he may have been planning to attend, but his mother wouldn't lend him her car. I'd back it in however, that there was / is a pile of soggy tissues near his chair. - I suspect you didn't so much "dodge a bullet" as much as you dodged a shadow. He sure had a lot of time to be texting considering all the action that was allegedly going down. |
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Post by itsjustus on Jul 22, 2016 12:33:37 GMT -5
bballgirl , you talked to this guy for three hours and he never mentioned the recliner? What were you talking about? Next time please use this script: GUY: So what's your name? BBG: Never mind that. Do you own a recliner? GUY: Yes, a very nice leather La-Z-Boy! [dialtone] ROTFLOL!! Almost literally!! Kind of embarrassing, since I'm at the airport, waiting for a flight! ( note to self.... Be careful reading CreelUnions replys while in public...) |
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