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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 12:40:03 GMT -5
Things have been going well with me. Busy, but very good.
I got a full time job which officially starts this coming Monday. It's exactly the kind of work I had hoped for and the salary is better than I had expected. I've been doing quite a bit of work for the new company already (in fact I'm at the office waiting on an electrician as I write this) and it's keeping me on my toes. I'm enjoying all the new information and challenges, and I like the people I'm working with. I do feel a little bit like I'm back in school, but since I loved school, that isn't really a problem!
But the biggest news is that my STBX accepted my last settlement offer. After all the nonsense, the ridiculous demands, the bullying and harassing - it's finally done. I had a moment of sheer glee, but since then I've felt kind of flat. I'm grateful to have this big hurdle behind me, but I expected to be running around fist pumping and shrieking "YES!" for days. I'm surprised at how quickly I went from elated to just tired. I suppose it's natural after such a long battle.
Here's a little irony for you - the settlement they agreed to yesterday is almost identical to the first offer I made. There is one slight change in my favor, but otherwise it is exactly the same as where we started last November.
If things go normally from here, I should be officially divorced by the end of the year. Just typing that makes it feel easier to breath.
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 15, 2016 13:05:07 GMT -5
Things have been going well with me. Busy, but very good. I got a full time job which officially starts this coming Monday. It's exactly the kind of work I had hoped for and the salary is better than I had expected. I've been doing quite a bit of work for the new company already (in fact I'm at the office waiting on an electrician as I write this) and it's keeping me on my toes. I'm enjoying all the new information and challenges, and I like the people I'm working with. I do feel a little bit like I'm back in school, but since I loved school, that isn't really a problem! But the biggest news is that my STBX accepted my last settlement offer. After all the nonsense, the ridiculous demands, the bullying and harassing - it's finally done. I had a moment of sheer glee, but since then I've felt kind of flat. I'm grateful to have this big hurdle behind me, but I expected to be running around fist pumping and shrieking "YES!" for days. I'm surprised at how quickly I went from elated to just tired. I suppose it's natural after such a long battle. Here's a little irony for you - the settlement they agreed to yesterday is almost identical to the first offer I made. There is one slight change in my favor, but otherwise it is exactly the same as where we started last November. If things go normally from here, I should be officially divorced by the end of the year. Just typing that makes it feel easier to breath. So happy for you!! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 15, 2016 13:07:56 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing that great news with us! I look for your name almost every day!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 13:11:22 GMT -5
I'm thrilled for you, @mountainrunner!!
Congratulations on the new job and on a settlement!!
I can certainly understand feeling "flat" after all the crap your STBX has put you, and the kids, through.
Expect to experience every emotion between now and freedom day. It's normal, healthy and you deserve to grieve, be joyful, then relieved, when all is said and done.
You are my shero of the day!! *Raising my wine glass to you, Lady, for staying on the path and positive.
Btw, I don't think I've ever read a more upbeat post from you. Your excitement about the new job and settlement just popped off the screen!
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Post by Caris on Jul 15, 2016 15:21:05 GMT -5
Congratulations, MR. I hope it's plain sailing from now on. Best wishes with the new job, and new life. 🙂🙅🏼
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Post by itsjustus on Jul 15, 2016 20:26:34 GMT -5
@mountainrunner! This is just fantastic news! I've been waiting for your life to have that moment, the moment of turn around, where you see more light than you do dark. With the new job, the new challenges, you're about to see full color light! Congrats!!!
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Post by baza on Jul 15, 2016 20:31:24 GMT -5
The 'getting out of an ILIASM shithole' is a trade off, like most things in life.
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'Getting out' removes one great big unresolvable problem. No arguement about that.
However, as a result of getting out, a lot of 'new' (but resolvable) problems emerge.
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It's a good trade off I reckon, moving from a joint situation that can't be fixed, to an individual situation that can be.
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Sidebar -
Did that deposition and potential airing of the dirty laundry turn out to just be a bluff ?
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 16, 2016 7:02:01 GMT -5
And the winner is......mountainrunner.....and the crowd goes wild!!!!
Seriously, looks like pretty good news all around.
Experiencing a bit of a letdown is pretty common after striving so long and finally reaching a long sought after goal that was denied you. First comes relief and then a sense that while you are where you should have been all along you had to go expend so much effort and emotion, it's natural to feel a bit deflated. It will soon pass. I experienced the same thing when my X moved out. The frustration from all the time wasted trying to fix it was gone but there was a void in it's place. It took a while but I eventually started filling that hole with other things. It will pass. Once again I'm pleased for you. It's time some good things came your way.
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Post by Dan on Jul 16, 2016 12:00:32 GMT -5
I had a moment of sheer glee, but since then I've felt kind of flat. I'm grateful to have this big hurdle behind me, but I expected to be running around fist pumping and shrieking "YES!" for days. I'm surprised at how quickly I went from elated to just tired. I suppose it's natural after such a long battle. It is TOTALLY natural. I notice it myself when I have a serious/stressful task: I muscle through it... then briefly happy/satisfied that it is wrapped up... but then find myself totally spent on the other side. Not just exhausted, but "blank", zombie-like. Sometime even weepy -- even when the outcome was satisfactory. Now multiply that by 8 months; I can only imagine what you are going through! Relatedly: I had a friend who was a volunteer fireman. He told me that a well-known phenomenon that firemen often go through a period of depression after fighting a big fire. It is not "sadness" due to the loss of the property, but rather, it is a natural response of the body to the hours of adrenaline rush experienced while fighting the fire. Again: you've been fighting a VERY LONG fire... Hugs to you, my friend. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2016 20:45:14 GMT -5
Standing up to a bully may cost you in the short run but you usually win in the long run. He probably spent tens of thousands of dollars just to punish you, and he had his fun and now he has nothing to show for it. He hoped to break you and now you're happy.
You win.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 16, 2016 21:31:37 GMT -5
I hope you and your attorney got to share a long moment of glee! I can imagine your daughter s happy and relieved for you too!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2016 9:54:53 GMT -5
Whoo-hoo! I am delighted for you!
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Post by Pinkberry on Jul 18, 2016 16:47:09 GMT -5
Great news!
May I side track for a second to say how I loathe the legal system? If you have an agreement now, why should it still take until the end of the year to be divorced? Ridiculous. I hope it's as smooth as possible for you.
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Post by skguy on Aug 7, 2016 20:04:38 GMT -5
Congratulations. I'm so happy for you :-)
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