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Post by deleted on Jul 13, 2016 21:33:50 GMT -5
I'm going on a three night vacation with the spouse. I feel really weird about it. I don't expect to get laid, but I really don't want the weirdness or awkwardness of being in a hotel room with the refusing spouse. Anybody else feel this way? Thing have been ok. I just don't want drama.
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 13, 2016 21:48:02 GMT -5
I refused to go on vacation with him without the kids.
Last time we did was 2010 and he needed 2 doubles at the bar to be able to fuck me. Afterwards I just took care of myself because he didn't.
That's all she wrote!
Enjoy the vacation and time together outside of the hotel room.
Have lots of fun and just sleep and rest to be ready for another day of fun.
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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 13, 2016 21:57:07 GMT -5
One bed or two in the room? Because if there's two that should help with making things a little less awkward if there are separate beds to sleep in, right?
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Post by pfviento on Jul 13, 2016 21:58:22 GMT -5
Best advice I can give is if she's a caffeine fiend make sure you find a place to get her that fix.
I'm dead serious. Albuquerque's Starbucks closed an hour earlier then their website indicated and it nearly resulted in a murder-suicide.
I finally the next morning told her any further tantrums would result in an immediate course change to a Grey Hound station. It worked for me but I don't recommend this approach unless you are willing to follow up on it.
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Post by baza on Jul 13, 2016 22:11:59 GMT -5
Been reading your back stories Brother deleted, trying to get a broader picture of where you are coming from to put this post in to context.
I'm not really getting an overall view at all, so I'll confine myself to the specifics of surviving a weekend away with a refusive wife.
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Back in the day, when it was unavoidable (like an interstate wedding or similar), I used to read up on the local sights to see and attractions, and concoct a rough itinerary of what I'd do - by myself - after the usual first arguement of the holiday brought down the usual "cone of silence". Then I'd go out and see the things I wanted to see. (I'd invite her to accompany me, she'd decline, and off I'd go).
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But I think the smart move is to abandon any expectations that your missus will behave in any a different manner than she usually does.
So lower or abandon any expectations.
Get a room with separate beds. (better still, separate rooms)
Get out and have a look at the local sights. With her or without her.
Engage with the locals - there's a lot of interesting people out there.
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The "worst" result you get out of this is that you see some different stuff and talk to some different people.
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The "best" result you might get out of this is that, with the pressure of expectation off, your missus may be able to aspire to a standard where she can at least be some sort of companion for the weekend.
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A root ?
Real long shot that one.
Take it off your agenda (if it is there).
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2016 22:19:11 GMT -5
You know what I find most awkward about vacation is not only not getting sex but then I don't have any privacy to take care of things on my own. There is always the shower but it is not exactly the same. Having said that I'd rather be on vacation then at work so its a tough one.
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Post by unmatched on Jul 14, 2016 6:20:38 GMT -5
I just got back from a family trip to England. It was weird on lots of counts. Sharing a bed with a big demarcation zone down the middle for one. Lots of family stuff but very little privacy for any kind of conversation about us. Minimal alone time for either of us. Now we are back we went out for lunch today and finally had some time together just us and it is awkward.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 14, 2016 8:26:41 GMT -5
After the last vacation I took with my X I knew it was going to be the last vacation I took with her. We might still go somewhere together but I wouldn't plan or try to make it a time to garner fun memories to be shared later with friends or together.
Absolutely give no thought to an expectation that seeing new places, sharing new experiences and destinations, perhaps trying new foods or experiencing a different culture will in any way kindle a desire in her belly for your magic stick. Don't expect it and you won't put a damper on the possibility for maxing your enjoyment.
Limit the possible drama in the room by spending as little time in the room as possible. Get up early and stay out late. Return to the room exhausted, so the only thing left at the end of the day is sleep.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 9:38:28 GMT -5
You know what I find most awkward about vacation is not only not getting sex but then I don't have any privacy to take care of things on my own. There is always the shower but it is not exactly the same. Having said that I'd rather be on vacation then at work so its a tough one. I hear u on this one.... in a few cases the hotel gave us double beds! When she goes into the shower in the morning, I release my demons.... feel better.... then hit the shower after she comes out. She only gets dressed in the bathroom, oh heaven forbid I see her body... |
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aubie1
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Post by aubie1 on Jul 14, 2016 10:00:56 GMT -5
The last few vacations for me there was no activity including the one last week. Before I would have expectations, but this last one I gave up thinking anything would or could happen. We went casino hopping and she plays slots and I play table games. It was like a vacation by myself until we got back to the hotel room. All but one hotel had double beds, she had option of sleeping in same bed and chose not to. No expectations is the way to go because you probably have a better chance at winning the lottery.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 12:20:20 GMT -5
We have separate rooms at home, and typically get a room with two beds. It works for us.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Jul 14, 2016 12:28:16 GMT -5
One of our last vacations included The Talk. Fun fun. He is one of the few people I know who gets more anxious than relaxed on vacation.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 18:21:53 GMT -5
Sorry you're dealing with this, deleted. Vacation is rough with a refuser. That's why I recommend The Elle Solution(TM): leave the refuser at home and vacation with yo' damn self! Much more fun to be had that way! Of course you could take friends and/or family along too. Just so the refuser stays behind. ;-) |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 18:23:53 GMT -5
One of our last vacations included The Talk. Fun fun. He is one of the few people I know who gets more anxious than relaxed on vacation. Mine too Misssunnybunny! Ugh! Who the hell goes on vacation and winds up more tightly wound than ever? |
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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 14, 2016 20:33:12 GMT -5
One of our last vacations included The Talk. Fun fun. He is one of the few people I know who gets more anxious than relaxed on vacation. Same with our last vacation ( our anniversary trip, oh, irony), except that we didn't actually end up really having "the talk." |
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