Post by unkakris on Jul 8, 2016 9:38:17 GMT -5
I resent having gone from being your lover and partner to being your friend and caretaker.
I resent your pain and how it has put our sex life to sleep. You cry out that you don't know why we don't have sex anymore. Yet I try to initiate something and you bat me away and say you're too tired. Or that "that hurts, not there, not that way."
I feel guilty for feeling this way. I feel tired of only doing what you want because of the pain. I'd rather masturbate than hurt you. And that makes me feel guilty.
I resent your son's anxiety and his inability to interact with the world
I'm angry and guilty for feeling this way
I feel trapped
I resent feeling trapped by my own sense of honor. Of being a stand up guy. Of looking out for others instead of myself.
I am fearful of causing you more pain that makes me feel guilty
I am angry at your disease for putting you at risk of pain
I am exhausted listening to you talk about how much you hate Tacoma, the neighborhood, the neighbors, where you're living.
I Do not share those feelings and repressing my natural response is creating anger which forms guilt and resentment.
This is not what I signed up for.
I resent and am angry that opening the cafe forced me to choose between game conventions and the cafe.
I resent that I am angry about all of these things. I was a conscious and adult participant in my life and my decisions.
I wish you wouldn't be sick anymore. I am exhausted by hearing how much you need me.
When we go on vacation and you feel better I am thankful for a break for at least 2-3 days when I don't have to hear about your pain for that long.
You also don't complain about the neighborhood or the neighbors. This silence is wonderful to me.
I resent spending precious money on your $200 a week pot habit just to keep the pain at bay.
I resent your son's $200 a week private therapy.
Yet I smile and nod and say "no, it's important for him"
Has he gotten a job he didn't quit in 2 months since graduation?
I resent spending money we don't have on vacations we can't afford just so I don't have to hear from you about your pain. It no longer makes me happy, it just means I'm not as tired from your complaints during that week.
I resent your pain and how you constantly ask "when are you coming home?"
I don't do anything at night except play video games, masturbating to Internet porn, eating junk food, getting diabetes, and thinking of excuses for sleeping on the couch again.
"The cat was in my spot and I didn't want to disturb it"
"The dog, etc. Etc."
"I fell asleep doing paperwork/reading/playing a videogame/watching a movie"
I resent lying to you about how I am doing and how I feel.
I'm not happy. I want to quit. I can't. You say "forever" I nod and say forever, and I wonder if you will die.
I resent your pain and how it has put our sex life to sleep. You cry out that you don't know why we don't have sex anymore. Yet I try to initiate something and you bat me away and say you're too tired. Or that "that hurts, not there, not that way."
I feel guilty for feeling this way. I feel tired of only doing what you want because of the pain. I'd rather masturbate than hurt you. And that makes me feel guilty.
I resent your son's anxiety and his inability to interact with the world
I'm angry and guilty for feeling this way
I feel trapped
I resent feeling trapped by my own sense of honor. Of being a stand up guy. Of looking out for others instead of myself.
I am fearful of causing you more pain that makes me feel guilty
I am angry at your disease for putting you at risk of pain
I am exhausted listening to you talk about how much you hate Tacoma, the neighborhood, the neighbors, where you're living.
I Do not share those feelings and repressing my natural response is creating anger which forms guilt and resentment.
This is not what I signed up for.
I resent and am angry that opening the cafe forced me to choose between game conventions and the cafe.
I resent that I am angry about all of these things. I was a conscious and adult participant in my life and my decisions.
I wish you wouldn't be sick anymore. I am exhausted by hearing how much you need me.
When we go on vacation and you feel better I am thankful for a break for at least 2-3 days when I don't have to hear about your pain for that long.
You also don't complain about the neighborhood or the neighbors. This silence is wonderful to me.
I resent spending precious money on your $200 a week pot habit just to keep the pain at bay.
I resent your son's $200 a week private therapy.
Yet I smile and nod and say "no, it's important for him"
Has he gotten a job he didn't quit in 2 months since graduation?
I resent spending money we don't have on vacations we can't afford just so I don't have to hear from you about your pain. It no longer makes me happy, it just means I'm not as tired from your complaints during that week.
I resent your pain and how you constantly ask "when are you coming home?"
I don't do anything at night except play video games, masturbating to Internet porn, eating junk food, getting diabetes, and thinking of excuses for sleeping on the couch again.
"The cat was in my spot and I didn't want to disturb it"
"The dog, etc. Etc."
"I fell asleep doing paperwork/reading/playing a videogame/watching a movie"
I resent lying to you about how I am doing and how I feel.
I'm not happy. I want to quit. I can't. You say "forever" I nod and say forever, and I wonder if you will die.
