Tinder and Facebook are creepy
Jul 19, 2016 15:24:49 GMT -5
Rhapsodee, DryCreek, and 6 more like this
Post by Dan on Jul 19, 2016 15:24:49 GMT -5
Here's some advice on "profile privacy". You can use this if you are just starting to date after leaving your marriage. (Curiously: same applies if you are dating during your marriage.)
Maintain an ENTIRELY independent "Internet presence" for your online dealings with potential new people in your life. This includes:
- New email address; use that for all your online profiles and your "screening" process (chatting with prospective candidates).
- New chat addresses for whichever services you use (Skype, Kik, Hangouts, whatever chat app you use)
- New phone number (from Google Voice, Skype, Line2, Ting, or the like) Not needed right away... but you might want to TALK to the person before you meet face to face for the first time, right? Why give out your "real number" when it is pretty easy to get a second one/disposable one?
- New photos (Don't post any photo to any of your "dating profile" that is posted on your "real life" FB page or anywhere else; yes -- even PHOTOS can be searched for matches these days; see "TinEye.com" if you'd like to see one such search engine.) The point is this: if you email someone a photo (even cropped) that is also on your FB page or blog, sites like TinEye might allow them to find your "primary Internet presence".
- ALSO: make sure you TURN OFF the "geotagging" in your photos. (See this.) Or scrub them of location information. (How to turn it off or scrub existing photos varies; Google it.)
- Don't use your exact birthdate or location in ANY of these profile or sign-ups. Avoid using your full last name (Pick a pseudonym, or tweak the spelling of your last name. Do the same if you have a rare first name, too.)
- Facebook: don't bother to have a secondary FB profile! What: you plan to invent a totally fake double life? Plus if potential new friends "like" or "post on your board", do you want suitors to be able to learn about each other if they both post to your wall?
When do you let someone "in" and see your real FB page? When do you share your primary phone number? I dunno. I guess my rule of thumb is after you meet in person, and then only if you want to.
If you need to, be upfront that this is not your "main" email/chat/phone; it is OK for folks to know they are NOT presumptively in your "inner circle" just because you've had a few enjoyable email exchanges. Ladies: I think reasonable men will understand if you have this "wall" of a second profile while they get to know you. If not: that is an indication that they are not smart/sensitive enough to see your concerns on this... or they are the stalker type that you are trying to avoid!
YES -- it is extra effort to keep up this secondary "dating profile" online. But if it keeps away a couple of creeps, it will have been worth it.
ONE MORE BENEFIT: The fact that all your "dating email" will be going to "other than your real-life email" will make it easier
to tune out when you want to tune it out. This might be because you DO find an individual with whom you start to pursue a relationship... or it might be a few weeks when you are so fed up with it you just tune it out.
Maintain an ENTIRELY independent "Internet presence" for your online dealings with potential new people in your life. This includes:
- New email address; use that for all your online profiles and your "screening" process (chatting with prospective candidates).
- New chat addresses for whichever services you use (Skype, Kik, Hangouts, whatever chat app you use)
- New phone number (from Google Voice, Skype, Line2, Ting, or the like) Not needed right away... but you might want to TALK to the person before you meet face to face for the first time, right? Why give out your "real number" when it is pretty easy to get a second one/disposable one?
- New photos (Don't post any photo to any of your "dating profile" that is posted on your "real life" FB page or anywhere else; yes -- even PHOTOS can be searched for matches these days; see "TinEye.com" if you'd like to see one such search engine.) The point is this: if you email someone a photo (even cropped) that is also on your FB page or blog, sites like TinEye might allow them to find your "primary Internet presence".
- ALSO: make sure you TURN OFF the "geotagging" in your photos. (See this.) Or scrub them of location information. (How to turn it off or scrub existing photos varies; Google it.)
- Don't use your exact birthdate or location in ANY of these profile or sign-ups. Avoid using your full last name (Pick a pseudonym, or tweak the spelling of your last name. Do the same if you have a rare first name, too.)
- Facebook: don't bother to have a secondary FB profile! What: you plan to invent a totally fake double life? Plus if potential new friends "like" or "post on your board", do you want suitors to be able to learn about each other if they both post to your wall?
When do you let someone "in" and see your real FB page? When do you share your primary phone number? I dunno. I guess my rule of thumb is after you meet in person, and then only if you want to.
If you need to, be upfront that this is not your "main" email/chat/phone; it is OK for folks to know they are NOT presumptively in your "inner circle" just because you've had a few enjoyable email exchanges. Ladies: I think reasonable men will understand if you have this "wall" of a second profile while they get to know you. If not: that is an indication that they are not smart/sensitive enough to see your concerns on this... or they are the stalker type that you are trying to avoid!
YES -- it is extra effort to keep up this secondary "dating profile" online. But if it keeps away a couple of creeps, it will have been worth it.
ONE MORE BENEFIT: The fact that all your "dating email" will be going to "other than your real-life email" will make it easier
to tune out when you want to tune it out. This might be because you DO find an individual with whom you start to pursue a relationship... or it might be a few weeks when you are so fed up with it you just tune it out.
